Warrior of the Dawn

Afterglow

2009-05-23T22:39:00.000-05:00

So yeah, your face really does glow after that first kiss.

On May 23, 2008, I wedded the love of my life, Lana Marie. Tonight we have completed the first of (Lord willing) many years together. I praise my God for the love He has lavished on me and my wife. Thank You, Father, for this good and perfect gift!

To my Lana, I say:

The springtime's arriving, the blossoms appear
The rain's gone away, and our love song is here
So come with me, darling, my beautiful one
'Cause the winter is over, and we've just begun

I love you.

Thank You

2009-04-13T14:24:00.004-05:00

My lovely wife is lying in bed right now, not feeling good at all today, very tired and hurting (nearly) all over. Praise the Lord, I didn't have to go to work today and I get to stay home and be with her. She has been awesome this past week. Somebody was congratulating me last night on my role in our church's Easter program, and I told them the truth: Lana did the thankless work behind the scenes for it. Well, I say thankless, but I have thanked her for it and I wanted to do it publicly as well, because I'm proud of her.

So, my Lana, thank you...

for patiently enduring eight consecutive evenings away from home (ending last night).
for patiently enduring two and a half months of husband-beardedness, even though you would MUCH rather me be clean-shaven.
for working hard to improve a horrid wig that turned out to be the only one usable for the part I was playing; a lot of people still heavily criticized the wig, not knowing how bad it originally was and how much you labored to make it work for me. You did a great job, love, and I was pleased with it!
for testing out makeup on a willing guinea pig (uh, thank you also to my brother Caleb!) not once but twice.
for going to Wal-Mart more times than we thought humanly possible, always to get some other thing we had just discovered we needed for the program.
for constantly encouraging and blessing me with smiles, prayers, kind words, selfless actions.
for spending over an hour before each performance, putting on my makeup and helping me with my costume.
for helping me keep up with my various costumes and props, and making sure that we put them in the right places before each performance.
for doing all this while also singing in the choir in the program.
for scrubbing, exfoliating, washing, and tanning me at various points before and after the program.
for cutting my hair and beard last night so I could shave the beard and you could feel my smooth face again!
for being a loving, submissive, patient help-meet, which is nothing new; it just shone out even more brightly this last week.

All praise ultimately goes to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He has created my wife, equipped her to love and serve me, and has begun this good work in her. And He will carry it through to the day of completion in Christ Jesus.

Thank you so much, my Lana; I'm so proud of you, and I'm so thankful for all you've done for me, especially with the Easter program! I love you so much! :%

A Father's Thoughts

2009-02-11T12:54:00.006-06:00

The Baby Story Thus Far

A Father's Thoughts
I pray that God uses me in whatever way he sees fit. It excites me to look back on my life and be able to point out specific times when I can clearly see how he used me. In some cases I could see it as it was happening; in others I still can't see what he was doing through me. But I praise him that he does use me as his vessel, and pray that I will always be useful to him.

It's a strange emotion, then, to discover that my Lord has used me and my wonderful wife to create a new life. Over the past two days, I have meditated on this wonderful mystery. Lana and I have conceived, not a fetal blob, but a complete person, who will one day (if the Lord wills) burp and cry and dance, and run and chew and laugh, and ask and wonder and learn, and love and lose and weep, and listen and understand and believe. Out of the love of a husband and wife comes a new love - tenderly we will give it and slowly receive it.

Only eight and a half months have passed since I left my father and mother to cleave to my wife, and already I foresee the day when my precious child will leave Lana and me and join in marriage with another. Our task is to prepare him or her for that day, for that person, for that life. In the meantime, we will enjoy life with the third member of our family.

Praise you, Father, for the child you have granted me and Lana. May we never fail to remember that he or she belongs to you, and that you have entrusted us to raise him or her up in the knowledge and instruction of the Lord. May we one day send our child out from us, a flaming arrow to bring a little more light into the darkness of this world.

Readers, please pray for our three-person family. My new highest priority is doing everything I can to protect my wife and our baby during this fragile period of pregnancy. But ultimately it is the Lord's to give or to take away, to preserve or to extinguish. Pray that we will trust him completely and praise him in good time or ill.

And yes, I am jacked about being a dad! Praise the Lord!!!

Reconstruction Continues

2008-09-30T13:18:00.004-05:00

Hey folks,

Ahhh, so the format revamp isn't going like I wanted it to. I realize the "fix" probably didn't fix anything for those of you who don't have extra-long monitors. So...I'll keep working on it. When I have time, anyway.

Here's what I do have time to work on right now, because I'm getting paid sweet green for it:
http://www.wkusports.com/SportSelect.dbml?DB_OEM_ID=5400&SPID=2259&SPSID=28997
If you're wondering what in the world I'm doing poring over the men's basketball roster for Western Kentucky, well, it's my job. A small part of my job. Hopefully I'll get the chance to explain later.

Anyways, shalom out, and here's a Bible passage Lana and I have been chewing on recently:

Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a "fool" so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight. As it is written: "He catches the wise in their craftiness"; and again, "The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile." So then, no more boasting about men! All things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God.

1 Corinthians 3:18-23 (NIV)

That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me

2008-09-29T22:27:00.003-05:00

OK, so I'm succumbing to the trend and using a quote as my post title. But life's too short to try to actually dream up an original title. Don't try to question that rationale...

Been reading (in very limited spare time) a terrific book called Culture Making by Andy Crouch. It came in on the stock cart at Solid Rock one day and caught my eye (I was working at Solid Rock then, for those who don't know). I picked it up, read a few pages, and immediately knew that it would be one of the most important books I would ever read. Bought it on the spot (with employee discount). Fantabulous book - if you're at all interested in culture, you must read this book. Gives a fresh yet biblical perspective. I haven't finished it yet, but I plan on reading it again many times once I'm done.

Another terrific book is Sinner by Ted Dekker, which released at the beginning of this month. If you haven't read anything this guy has written, you need to, but his stories are not for the faint of heart. His stories depict Darkness, but that just allows the Light to shine through them all the more brilliantly. This guy is one of my storytelling heroes and Sinner is another spectacular tale from him.
If you're interested in reading Dekker, I recommend starting with the Circle Trilogy. Three novels, two worlds, one story. After reading it, you may never look at the Gospel the same ol' way.
Enough about him...

I've been redesigning the blog, and working on getting it so it doesn't cut anything off. I think I've finally fixed that problem; if you're still seeing things cut off, let me know please. I like the wider format as it allows you more flexibility in putting things on the page, but I realize that some people have smaller monitors than I do and can't see it all at once. You SHOULD be able to scroll horizontally now.

Hoping to someday soon use this blog to share my thoughts about theology, "the church in America" (and why that's such a terribly un-useful term), telling stories, and much more. My wife and I have had some stimulating conversations, influenced by the writings of Piper, Dekker, Lewis, Tolkien, and many others; I'd love to share them on my blog. Right now there's just way too much to do.

God has been blowing my mind lately. Again, wish I had time to discuss it here, but since I don't, let me just throw out a word that my Sunday night class is growing to know well: assumptions. How many assumptions fill our minds and dictate the way we live, without us ever thinking about them? Are assumptions part of a godly mindset? What would happen if we (prayerfully) questioned even the most basic assumptions about our lives? about God? about the world?

On Sunday nights we've been looking at assumptions that are often held in Christendom. Stuff like "The Lord helps those who help themselves" and "Jesus looked like us (meaning WASP, that is)" and "We're not supposed to hate." We're taking these assumptions and holding them up to the light of the Bible. The question, ultimately, is not what has man said? or what have I always believed? or what makes sense to me? The question is what does God say? We're digging into the Word and coming up with some interesting and sometimes unexpected answers.

Ehh, I want to just break down and write a long post about assumptions now. But it's bedtime, and my wife and I definitely need the rest. Toodleoo and shalom out, my Hebrew homies, till then.

Stop, hey, what's that sound?

2008-08-12T09:21:00.004-05:00

What's goin down, tell me what's goin down
You wanna know just what's goin down?
Stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's goin down
- TobyMac

You just thought I'd never post again.

You might be right.

Naw, I don't intend to call it quits on the blog just yet, but then again, this is my first post in nearly a month. It's a busy life, and I haven't had much time to be on the Internet, much less writing blog posts.

We have made three filming outings for the most anticipated film of 2007, er, I mean, 2008 (it could even be 2009). The result: We have, in the director's estimation, completed over half of the remaining filming. We still probably have four or five days of filming ahead of us at least; don't even try to make my math match up, just trust that it does.

Three-fourths of the film is edited and I'm dipping my proverbial toes in the water with the score. Once the filming is finished, it's still going to be several months at least before we finally unveil Hunted to the world. But I believe that we will unveil it, and I'm excited about that.

FtF is less than two weeks away, and I'm pumped about what the Lord has for us this year. Pray for our group; there's a spiritual war going on and I pray that God, not Satan, wins this battle. And please come out prayerfully and expectantly on Saturday, August 23, and share this exciting day with us.

I have a new job, and hopefully I'll get a chance to post more about that later. Working on transitioning from The Solid Rock to this new thing. I'm slightly scared and really excited, because I know that it's what God has for me.

So that's a little bit of what's goin down, for now. Shalom out.

Hunted Strikes Back

2008-07-15T17:40:00.009-05:00

Tomorrow

July 16

AD 2008

the most anticipated film of the year

2007 --

which has become

the most anticipated film of the year

2008 --

shall resume principal photography

after an eight-month hiatus

and there shall be much rejoicing

HUNTED IS COMING, BABY!!!

hee hee hee....

2008-07-07T17:27:00.005-05:00

This is Luke's wife posting for him, before sister Nan starts to remind how wonderful blog posts are :P
And no, he didn't ask me to, but no, I didn't hack in :^D

Well, what's up with Luke: he's busy working 31-39 hours a week, exercising (almost) daily with his wife (at her request) eating a lot of homemade food (and raving about it), and doing various other things that married life involves.
He's learning to be the head of his own household, and doing a marvelous job. He's set up a budget that we're working with this month, he takes good care of his wife and makes sure she drinks lots of water and takes her vitamins and supplements. She needs a lot of reminding. Once this weekend, he cleaned up the mess after his wife gagged on her supplement drink (and it choked it up all over the floor). She nearly cried to see him bent over mopping it up, but then she laughed b/c she felt like a baby who'd spat out her formula.
Oh, I teased him the other day b/c 'we've got a teenager in the house', but he's a really strong, God-fearing man. and I love him a lot.
Other news... Luke got a raise last week! We were very excited. And we celebrated with pound cake, which was wonderful and also exciting :^)
He'll be home in about an hour, and of course we're both looking forward to it.
Miss you, my love!!!
You can delete this post if it bothers you, but I was trying to sign into my own account on your laptop, and it put me to your dashboard, so.... :^P

Married life

2008-06-21T22:01:00.003-05:00

First off, got to go to AARON and MEGAN's wedding today!!! Kudos to the new Mr. and Mrs. A-Luv! Just watching his face throughout the ceremony was a fun experience; he looked, as my dad put it later, like a little kid on Christmas morning. He and Megan are such a blessing; it's been so neat to watch them come into our church, pray to receive Christ, grow in the Lord, fall in love, and now start a new life together as husband and wife.

We're kinda just chillin at home right now; Lana's lying on the bed reading Calvin and Hobbes (we got the complete three-volume collection as a wedding present from wonderful Uncle John and Aunt Angie!) while I post. She made the most awesome stuff for dinner tonight. I just asked her what it's called and she bravely made up the title of "Creamy...Rice and...Chicken Bake". Sounds good to me, love. Anyways, it is fantastic; all you cook-type people have got to get the recipe from her. She told me it's an old family recipe, dating back to about 5:00 this afternoon.

Married life is quite fun. I don't want to pretend that it's always easy; things like overflowing garbage and wrinkled pants and black bean soup that didn't turn out just right, do pop up from time to time. But we are so happy; God has blessed us so much, and it is so cool to be together as husband and wife.

So, my final verdict on courtship, now that I have forever left it? I am more convinced than ever that it is absolutely worth it. Wait on the Lord, wait, wait, wait, and He will bless you a hundredfold for it. It may not seem like such a big deal to dabble with that special someone now, to dip your toes in the whirlpool of romance and swirl them around. But I can tell you, after holding back and finally being freed to give my everything to my bride, that doing things God's way is infinitely better than doing what excites us at the time. Do not awaken love until its appropriate time, the Bible says. Do not, DO NOT, DO NOT!! There, I'm done preaching...for now.

As for the wedding, yes, I hope to post some pics at some point. I'm sure you've seen Lana's blog (if not, go check it out, for pete's sake!); she's got a lot of photos there. For now, all I'll say about the wedding is:
"Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind."

God bless ya'll, and I hope to post again sooner (and who knows, maybe I'll have some news on that elusive most anticipated film of the year!).

The Return to Narnia (or wherever)

2008-06-02T18:48:00.004-05:00

Just a quickie for now as my lovely wife and I are about to depart and (finally) watch The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian.

I want to thank you guys so much for praying for us and encouraging us through the months of our courtship. It seemed like forever, but now the waiting is over, and we've just begun.

I'll try to provide a more detailed post about the wedding in the next couple of days, because of course I want to talk about it. No pictures yet, sorry, the only one I've seen is on my wonderful mother-in-law's blog (pursuingjoy.blogspot.com). If you have pictures, please please please send them to me (or post them on your blog); my wife and I (and quite a few other people) really want to see them!

Man, there's so much to talk about, but no time now, Narnia is calling us back!

God bless you all; no, we aren't abandoning our blogs; and yes, in case you're wondering (and I'm sure you are), MARRIED LIFE ROCKS MY FACE OFF!!!

Just over a day left...

2008-05-22T15:55:00.004-05:00

I'm writing this post from my and Lana's apartment. Sitting on the black couch, listening to the hum of the air conditioner (well, along with Michael W. Smith on my lappytop). It's the home God has provided for us. What an incredible blessing; thank You, Lord!

Just chillin' here (and getting a few things done while I chill, I should add) before I head over to the rehearsal. Ahh...

I love my house. It's not really a house, I know, but I won't be able to stop calling it that. It's just...so crazy, to sit on the couch and see all the stuff we've brought in thus far. And to know that a week from tomorrow, Lana and I will be settling down here -- to live together.

And by that time, we'll have been married for a week -- AHHHHHH!!!!

I want to quote my song, man I do, but I can't, I'm saving it back. The world premiere for it is tomorrow night at 7 pm, if anyone wants to attend.

Wow, I'm getting married in about twenty-seven hours. And I still haven't really gotten nervous yet. I figured I would, I'm still expecting it to hit me at any minute. But so far it's just like, wow, wow, it's really happening and the greatest day of my life really is tomorrow. Wow. Praise God, praise God, praise God.

Thank you all for praying for me and Lana, and please don't stop now. Pray especially for the wedding, not for us (although we'd appreciate it) so much as for those who attend. I believe God wants our wedding to be a powerful testimony of His grace and love. Not everyone who will be there knows Jesus.

A thought just hit me. We do an Easter program every year in our church, and at times I've wondered what it would be like to play Jesus. I so respect Jason, the guy who currently does it; he takes it so seriously and lets God work through him.

But, um, wow, get this, this just occurred to me: Tomorrow night, I'm playing Jesus. Our wedding is a picture, an acting out of the Great Romance between Christ and His people. Lana represents the Church. And as the groom, I will be standing in the place of my Savior. What a thought!

OK, so now I'm a little bit nervous.

I'll try to post tomorrow, but in case I don't have time, God bless you guys, and thanks for the prayers!

HE POSTS

2008-05-16T00:25:00.003-05:00

Hello chums, just a quick word from this side of the universe.

Sorry I haven't posted in a long long time. These days, usually the only time I have to write about what's going on in my life is when I'm penning e-mails to my beloved Lana. And, you can ask her, even those don't come everyday.

Busy busy busy...

But it is now one week until the biggest day of my and Lana's lives. Hard to believe; just another blink and we'll be married.

Unfortunately this blink still seems rather lengthy to me...

Working on doing my part for the ceremony (which certainly isn't much at all, compared to what my bride and her mother are doing) and planning the honeymoon, which is fairly delightful. And, oh yeah, I have a job now (PRAISE THE LORD!); hopefully you've read about it on Lana's blog. Christian bookstores are the bomb, I love the atmosphere and the people and all the cool stuff that's lying all around the store.

Tonight Lana and I are going to a blessing party, just for us, put together by some dear friends of our families. Just having the party alone is a blessing to us, but they have invited our parents and a few other couples that we know, and they are going to bless us verbally. How awesome is that? Praise the Lord; it should be a wonderful evening!

Well, I'm going to go to bed now, then get up and go to work, then off to the blessing party and getting to be with my beautiful fiancee.

Shalom out, my Hebrew homies. See you next Friday (at least, I might see you before SHE enters the room).

The Birthday of My Bride!

2008-04-29T23:57:00.003-05:00

Today was Lana Marie's birthday!!!

And it was wonderful and I got to be with her all day and give her presents and buy her lunch and take her to the park and other stuff.

Yay for birthdays and for my Lana! I love you! And I was so glad to be with you and make your 20th birthday even more special!

Eric O'Brien is running from his past...still...

2008-04-26T12:11:00.001-05:00

Check out the first theatrical trailer for the most anticipated movie of the year! And let me know, in the comments section, if you find any theaters that are interested in playing it. ;-p

I'll post more later as I have time. But for right now, I'll just say that man, God is good! It's been yet another crazy week, full of highs and lows, but He loves me so much and He shows me so much grace. I love you, Father!

And I praise Him for the woman He has given me for life. There's definitely a double meaning there; not only will I have her for the rest of my life (unless the Lord takes her home), but she keeps my life going. My Lana Marie, I love you so much, and I can't believe we're now LESS than four weeks from lawfully wedding! ("Wedding" is a verb in the previous sentence, in case the rest of you readers are wondering.)

Life is good, because God is good!

Where I am right now

2008-04-12T22:49:00.000-05:00

I really haven't posted in a long time, have I?

Going to Lana's church tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it; should be a pretty different style of service than what I'm used to, and that's a good thing. And of course, I'm just excited about getting to be with Lana and her family.

Then, that afternoon at her church, we have the second of our wedding showers! Yippee great and glorious joy! The one last Sunday, at my church, was a blast, and now we get to do another one! Pretty cool to think about getting presents from a bunch of people most of whom I've never met.

Heading into the home stretch with school; three weeks of class left. It's strange, the way semesters go by. You get situated in your new classes, then you get used to them and they just become a part of regular life, then before you know it they're wrapping up. Cannot wait to bid this semester farewell and head into what promises to be the greatest summer of my life.

Forty days left till marriage. Sounds very surreal, yet for some reason it isn't, to me. It just feels right, to know that I'm spending my last few days in my family's house, that I will soon leave it and not come back (except to visit, of course), that I will begin to live with Lana and continue living with her for the rest of my life.

As I prepare for that, I'm still looking for one key component -- my job. The company that I have been working for had to downsize this year and I probably won't be working for them again in the foreseeable future. So I'm exploring options and trying to find a job. My personal goal is to have a job by the end of this coming week, so please pray that God will guide my search and lead me to the job He has for me, in His time.

That's all for now. Sorry for the length of time between posts; hopefully I'll be able to post more frequently in the future. God bless all of you.

The Slow March of Time

2008-03-31T23:51:00.003-05:00

Wanted to write one more post while it's still March. Especially while it's still March 31. Because as my lover wrote for a school assignment due today, "March 31 only comes once a year - celebrate it!"

Right now I am glad to be finished with March, mostly because it allows me to move on to April, and after April comes - well, you know. All sorts of people are now telling me how quickly May 23 will come. And well, yeah, it is - and I kinda feel bad that it's coming quickly for my dear future mom-in-law, because she has so much to do to get ready, and even though it's a special day for her, she's not the one getting married. I don't guess I've thanked you for all your work, Mrs. T - Thank you so much! It overwhelms me how hard you're working to make my and Lana's day even more special.

But I'm not the mother-in-law, I'm the groom, and May 23 seems so far away still. I miss Lana so badly. I even miss her when I'm with her now - not because her presence is lacking in some way; I'm missing something else, that we've never had and won't have until the wedding day. It hurts to not be able to hold her hand or kiss her or wrap my arms around her. But I know, however much of an eternity it may seem, the end is very near.

I wrote an article for the upcoming CtB (which is, BTW, the last one, if you hadn't heard that yet) about waiting for my wedding and how it must parallel Jesus' waiting for His own wedding. Definitely something I'd never thought about before.

Well, I'm gonna go to bed now. Please be in prayer for me and Lana, especially Lana in the next few days; she has a lot of school assignments to do and not much time to do them. And also, we've been going through some...well, spiritual warfare, is the way she put it today, and I think that's right. So pray that God will focus our hearts on Him and that we will trust Him with everything.

BTW, I apologize for the title of this post. It's terrible, I know. I just couldn't resist...

Quote Time!

2008-03-28T16:58:00.002-05:00

I love quotes. They're so...quotable. OK, OK, but I thought I'd do a postful of quotes, since I like 'em. This is by no means a list of my favorite quotes; don't even know where I'd start on something like that. But just a few that I like, or that I just remembered, or whatever.

Take the chance, in the comment section, to post any quotes that you like!

"Time to shred some powder!" - Granny Puckett, Hoodwinked!

"This is not a peace. This is an armistice for twenty years." - Marshal Ferdinand Foch of France, commenting on the Treaty of Versailles, which ended World War I in 1919

"Um, sir? How did we get out, and why is it dark?"
"STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS, PRIVATE!" - Private and Sir, Sir

"You'll never find peace of mind in your former self
You'll never find peace of mind in a sea of wealth
You'll never find peace of mind in your rock 'n roll
You'll never find peace of mind if you sell your soul

You'll never find peace of mind in your lucky charms
You'll never find peace of mind on a hippie farm
You'll never find peace of mind in a one-night stand
You'll never find peace of mind in your Superman"
- dc Talk, "Like It, Love It, Need It"

"Btw, this post didn't have any point to it. I just wanted to say something." - Sir Tony the Clever

"Hold your ground! Hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down. But it is not this day! This we day we fight! By all that you hold dear, I bid you stand, Men of the West!" - Aragorn, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

"I am the evil sorcerer. They call me Bubba." - T-Rev

"You can't go on writing epics all your life; but until you can do something else, you simply must write epics." - Christopher Wiseman

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein

"Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Cort Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally." - Napoleon Dynamite

"All my life flashed before my eyes! ...It was really boring." - Babs, Chicken Run

"You can't wait till you've arrived to start going somewhere." - Lady Lana the Adorable

"There was just...something about His eyes." - Tobias (Daniel's character in this year's The Glory of Easter)

"God. He's...wow." - Thomas Hunter, Black

Sickness, storms, spring break, and The Story

2008-03-18T17:03:00.006-05:00

Yo all,

Thanks for the kind comments and for being quiet and all that jazz. I have been sick and rather miserable, but hopefully (wink wink, Lana) I'm getting over it. Yesterday was a horrendous day, full of high fever and upset stomach and barely being able to move. Today I've had a low fever, I'm still pretty tired, and I've had a splitting headache. But it's definitely better than yesterday. The strangest part of this whole thing is that even since my stomach settled down, I haven't had much of an appetite at all.

Anywayz, so that's my report, now that's enough about sickies.

I don't remember the last time we had this much rain. It rained most of yesterday evening and most of the day today. The most exciting part of it came early this afternoon when heavy winds swept through Branch. I was standing in the dining room, watching the storm rip branches off our neighbor's tree, and saw a huge something fly by the north window. What in the world was that? I shifted my gaze to the east windows, which overlook our front yard and the highway. Next moment, our trampoline soared past the neighbor's tree and onto Highway 41. The wind had carried it all the way from its place in the back yard, over the fence, past Dad's truck in the driveway, over the ditch, and onto the road. That trampoline is now famous in the Branch area.

Such are the thrills of a small town in Arkansas. It's still raining right now, and according to the local weather reports, it probably won't stop anytime soon. I'm just glad that, like my sickness, all this rain is coming in the early part of this week. Our church's Easter program is this weekend, and I certainly don't want to be sick -- or to have it rain this much -- then.

It's also nice that it's spring break and I don't have to miss class. But as glad as I am to have some time off from school, I'm pining for my Lana. She was supposed to get to come over today, but my sickies prevented that. I'll see her tomorrow, Lord willing.

The attempts at sappiness to her over on her blog made me chuckle. You guys have got a ways to go, but that's okay.

Easter Week is one of my favorite weeks of the year. Obviously it's exciting because of the Easter program, one of the biggest events our church does all year. But so much more than that, this is the week when we give special attention to the story of Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection.

It's such a fascinating story, and it never fails to hit me whenever I read it in any of the four Gospels. A spellbinding plot with twists and turns. Glorious love. Wrenching betrayal. A climax followed by a bigger climax. Memorable villains. And the greatest Hero of all time.

Take some time this week to read it in your Bible. Experience anew the crowd's Hosannas, Judas' treachery, Peter's tears, Pilate's dilemma. And rejoice for the King who did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.

Praise forever the Name of Jesus.

A passion for the Word

2008-03-08T18:49:00.001-06:00

My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you prosperity.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.

Honor the Lord with your wealth,
with the firstfruits of all your crops;
then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
and your vats will brim over with new wine.

My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline
and do not resent His rebuke,
because the Lord disciplines those He loves,
as a father the son he delights in.

- Proverbs 3:1-12

I've been working through Proverbs lately, and these verses (among many, many others) have meant a lot to me. I'm so young, so green, so immature, and this book in particular is filled with stuff aimed directly at my life. I need it so badly. And it makes me realize anew that I need the Word, so, so badly.

As a preacher's kid, some of my greatest advantages can also turn into weaknesses, if I let them. For as long as I can remember, I've known a lot about the Bible. I used to get teased about it all the time in youth; I guess not so much anymore since I'm one of the leaders, and people are used to it. For a while, in my mid-teens, it became almost a joke in youth class to mention some Bible verse and then have me quote it word for word and provide the reference.

People would stare at me and wonder how I knew so much about the Bible. Well, it's really not that hard when it's been banged into you your whole life, from many different sources.

But I haven't been thinking much about knowing a lot about the Bible. The truth is, I don't know nearly enough. That's where this strength has turned into a weakness for me. For a long time, I've pretty much grown complacent about the Word. I've learned a lot about it, and I've begun to think that it was enough. That I didn't really need to diligently pursue the Truth of the Word of God like I used to.

As a result, I feel like I'm way behind, in a way. Sure, I spend time reading my Bible everyday, like I'm supposed to, but why do I do it? Just 'cause I'm supposed to?

That ain't good enough.

I want to have a passion for the Word of God. To be continually studying it, memorizing it, meditating on it, coming back to it, applying it to my life. I don't ever want to stop learning the Scriptures, going deeper into them. But it seems like I'm so far away from doing that consistently. Give me a hunger for Your Word, Father!

"The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life." - John 6:63

God is working!

2008-03-05T23:09:00.002-06:00

God is working, and wow is it cool.

Tonight during our youth service I got to pray with three young men from our group. All of them are part of our core, and all of them have recently shared some of their struggles as God does a work in their lives. It was such a blessing tonight to be able to talk to them, pray with them, tell them I loved them.

The Lord is doing a work in our church right now. What do I mean when I say that? He's always working after all, isn't He? Well, yeah, He is, but I just mean that over the past few months we have seen His work show up in individual people's lives. Some of them had been lost, some had been backsliders, some needed to be baptized, some just needed to go deeper in their walks with God.

There is nothing like being able to see the hand of God working in a church. I praise Him so much for allowing me to be a part of this one. I know that ultimately, there's nothing special about our church. We're just a local body of believers that God continues to bless. It's all about Him, now and always.

Thank You, Lord, for my church family.

What happened one year ago today

2008-02-27T21:26:00.002-06:00

It was Tuesday, and we were sitting in American Lit class, my best friend and me. Occupying our usual seats in adjacent desks on the left side of the large classroom, near the front. Usually she made it to the classroom before I did, was sitting there waiting; and we would chat before class.

At about 9:29 am, Professor Ann Winters walked into the room, holding some highly-anticipated documents: our graded papers. Our assignment had been to write papers on the role of family in one of the short stories we had read early in the semester. Lana and I had each decided, independently, to write about "The Revolt of 'Mother'" by Mary E. Wilkins Freeman. We had gathered sources, written, rewritten, had writing conferences with Ms. Winters, and finally turned in our final copies to her. Now anxiously we awaited the verdict, the grade, the pronouncement of doom.

The good professor began to walk around the room, distributing graded papers to various students. She handed Lana's paper to her; my best friend flipped through it till she could see the grade, and immediately burst into tears. Oh no.

Her paper had received a grade of 69. Not because of the quality of the writing, but because of a technicality on sources. Ms. Winters had told us earlier in the semester that in order to make a C or higher on the paper, we had to exactly follow the rules on how many sources were in our paper.

Lana had been unsure of whether her secondary sources qualified to meet the rules. But since she had met with Mrs. Winters to look at the paper, and Mrs. Winters hadn't said anything about the sources, Lana assumed they were fine.

She was wrong. And she didn't make a C or higher on the paper. And now she was crying, and asking Mrs. Winters why she had received this grade.

The professor didn't budge. She told Lana that the guidelines for sources had been clearly laid out on our assignment sheet. However, she said, she was willing to let Lana fix the sources and turn in the paper again for a new grade; Lana's final grade for the paper would then be a composite of the old grade and the new.

It was a merciful deal, on the whole, but Lana's poor grade had wounded her. She wept off and on throughout the entire class. Once or twice she looked over at me, but I had no words for her. Even with Ms. Winters' willingness to regrade the paper, Lana's grade wouldn't be as high as it should have been.

The class discussion covered a couple of poems by Robert Frost: "Design" and "Out, Out --". My notes only show the rhyme scheme of the poems, though I'm certain we discussed them much more deeply. I tried to pay attention, but I was mostly focusing on my friend and how bad I felt for her.

At the end of class, we gathered our backpacks and walked out of the Holt building, heading for our next class in the Gardner building. Beginning to cry again, Lana talked about how she felt betrayed by Mrs. Winters. I wanted to say something, anything, to comfort her, to make her feel better. All I could do was listen, and sympathize.

Now we were sitting in the Gardner lecture hall, with about ten minutes till the American Revolution class started. Lana was still trying to control her tears. I glanced over at her, then looked away again.

And at that moment I fell in love with my best friend. Emotions I had never felt before began to sweep over me. I looked at her and knew that now, in this moment, I loved her as I had never loved her before, as I would never love anyone else. While she cried over her grade, while I sat in silence, I knew that I had irrevocably crossed a line.

From the very first summer I met Lana (2003), I had prayed about her as a prospect for marriage. I was careful as I prayed, never assuming what was God's will, pleading with Him to show me one way or the other and to allow me to keep my heart undefiled. He didn't show me, not for a long, long time. I became Lana's friend, and then her close friend, and then her best friend, and all the while I grew increasingly more attracted to her. But my heart was still mine; I had not given any part of it to her.

Now it was all hers. And for the first time I allowed myself to feel the feelings that I had shunned for so long. I knew that God had at last revealed His answer to me, had shown me that this crying young woman beside me was to be my bride. And I loved her.

In class that day, Dr. Robert Willoughby lectured on the American-British standoff at Boston in 1775, after the Battle of Bunker Hill. His lecture, as always, was engrossing and enlightening; I took diligent, copious notes, but my mind was rather elsewhere.

And Lana Marie had no idea, would have no idea for nearly six months. We grew even closer as friends, and spent a lot more time in class together, and worked on a movie together, and prayed for each other. She thought that perhaps someday I would ask to court her. Someday, some far-off time in the future. Maybe.

And she didn't know, not till a candle-lit evening in August, that I was madly in love with her, a passion both utterly secret and wholly pure.

It was February 27, 2007. One year ago today.

People

2008-02-25T23:27:00.005-06:00

Just a quick post for now as I need to hit the hay pretty soon.

My birthday on Thursday was flippin' awesome. Hope to have more about that in the next day or two...

It is absolutely unreal to be well into the double digits of the countdown to my wedding. Today it's been two months since I dropped to my knee and gave my girl a ring and could officially call myself her fiance. In another three months, we'll already be married. Wow...

I praise God for the life He has given me. It's often a struggle, often painful, but it's just so...abundant, I guess, is a good word. Most often I see how abundant it is in the people God has put in my life. I have my darling fiancee, my immediate family, her immediate family, church family, homeschoolers...it's just so cool.

God is starting to pound into my head that people are what matter most on this earth. The people I love dearly, the people I walk past at school, the people I see in church when I'm leading worship. Every one of them is made in the image of God, every one has a story, every one has a purpose. Jesus died to save every one of them. He knows the plans He has for them, plans to prosper them and not to harm them, plans to give them a future and a hope.

People like James T. from church and Bob my former Theater prof and Austin from Riverwalk and Gary who lives across the street and Ryan my cousin and Andria my supervisor at work. They all matter so much to the heart of God. And my life has made an impact on each of theirs, in radically different ways, in ways that I'll never comprehend. And I've impacted thousands of others.

And I continue to have influence, I continue to make a difference, for better or for worse, in the lives of so many people around me -- the ones who mean the most to me, and the ones I'll never meet.

But I don't want to focus on that; talk about the pressure that would ensue! My focus should all be on the one who created this universe and this tiny earth and all the eternal souls that dwell therein. And then He came into His creation, coming not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.

He's the One pulling the strings; He commands the breadth of my influence. All good comes from Him, and thus it is not merely immoral but useless to point my focus anywhere else. He will change the hearts of people. He emptied Himself for them, suffered the ultimate sacrifice that they might be set free.

May the same mind be in me that was also in Him.

Happy Birthday, Luke!

2008-02-20T21:30:00.013-06:00

Dear Luke,

Happy Birthday! I hope you have a great year of being 19! (Man, you're getting old) Welcome to your party! I thought of this several weeks ago, and started planning with several bloggers about doing a blog party. Can I say that your blog is *very* hard to hack into? It is. :)

To think that you're already 19....it makes me think of huge Lego castles built, trips to Branson (and Silver Dollar City ((and even more, CASCADES!))) , playing soldiers in the yard, making up stories during school time, your graduation, Fan the Flame, Church Camp, and so much more. Luke, you've always played a huge role in my life. To me, you've been the big brother, the role model. The one that when I was little, I wanted to marry. When you told me I couldn't, you crushed me...till I decided I had to marry someone JUST like you, instead. I never told you this, but you were a huge part of me getting saved. You were one of the biggest influences in my life. I love you, big brother.

You were such a cute baby, too. (not that you aren't now, too!) I know you've blessed Mom and Dad throughout your life, and I pray you'll continue to every day of your life.

My birthday blessing for you is that your days will outshine the glory of Aragorn, King of Gondor. May your love and passion for God will reach the ends of the earth and see many saved. May you will be successful at whatever you put your hands to. May God bless you beyond your wildest dreams. May your days be filled with love, happiness, and everything that God sees fit to give you. "I pray for you on your birthday, that your path, as is promised to the just man, will shine not less and less but more and more; that you will still bring forth fruit in old age; that the Lord will give you a thankful heart like the psalmist's who sang, "O God, thou hast taught me from boyhood, all my life I have proclaimed thy marvellous works: and now that I am old and my hairs are gray, forsake me not, O God....Songs of joy shall be on my lips; I will sing thee psalms, because thou has redeemed me. All day long my tongue shall tell of thy righteousness." (Psalms 71:17, 18, 23, 24 NEB) So--happy birthday!...A birthday filled with thanksgiving and hope is the happiest kind of birthday. Have one of those! Deck yourself with joy!"- Elisabeth Elliot

This is what I pray for you on your birthday.

So, now the party!
I thought that for your birthday, we'd go here:

Lothlorien seems a good place for a birthday party. At least, I hope you'll have fun, hanging with Galadriel and Celeborn.
They decided to light things up all pretty just for YOUR birthday! (do you feel special? :P)

At any rate, I thought it would be fun....now, for the food. Unfortunately, they ran out of lembas, so we decided to fix...

Yup, you got that right! Pepperoni Pizza! This is actually Mom's homeade pizza, but it's hard to see that in the picture. ;) But, knowing you have a big appetite, we decided to have something else too...

Yes, this too is homeade! Mom decided you *neeeded* this too....now, to drink...

There was Sprite here too somewhere...(yells, "Daniel!!!! Where's the Sprite?")

We'll find that somewhere...

Now, for the entertainment...I thought of several things. I thought eating might be entertainment enough...I thought that going to Lothlorien might be entertainment enough...but, no, we have to have entertainment. :) So, we've brought some of your favorite people in...you get to film a movie!!!!!!!! You get to direct, order professionals around, mess with professional actors....we got Viggo, Orlando, Christopher Lee, Elijah, Billy, Dom, Liv, Bernard, Sean Bean, Sean Astin, John (Noble), David, and...just for you, Luke, we got...Peter Jackson! :P Yes, he agreed to come and work with you on producing..of course, you're still in charge. So, have fun for your birthday! (and take lots of pictures! :P)

Now, as to the guests...of course family, friends, and your fiance! :) But, we invited a special guest....

Yes, as a birthday guest, you get...CHRISTOPHER TOLKIEN! I know you'd love to spend hours with this guy, but, I'm afraid it's time to open presents.

Now....what did I want to get you???

It's the closest I could get to the Complete J.R.R. Tolkien. Of course, that would have every scrap written by him, every audio recording, everything written about him, everything with the movies...all of it. :P

But, in reality, what I did get you was this...A Hunted Website. :P Check out huntedthemovie.blogspot.com. It's not absolutely done, but I've got a real good start.

Thanks for being who you are Luke...thanks for being my brother. I love you.

Love, Hannah

(Luke and Hannah in their childhood. :P)

Why, why, why?

2008-02-13T00:06:00.004-06:00

Why am I the way I am?

Why do I love grandeur and majesty and epic storytelling so much?

Why is my singing voice so deformedly loud as to blot out all noise within a fifteen-foot radius of me?

Why did I not merely listen to, but enjoy Beethoven's Fourth Symphony in the car on Monday?

Why do I forget about my most important mail immediately after opening and reading it?

Why am I able to look an instructor in the eye with a frown of professed concentration, when my mind is far away?

Why do I step into the shower and immediately begin dreaming of the epic movies I hope to one day realize?

Why do I mess with my pens during class?

Why do I seemingly always lean toward my lover, whether we're sitting or standing?

Why can't I write a good poem?

Why do I always sling my backpack over my right shoulder?

Why do I tape memorable quotes to my bedroom ceiling?

Why do I have to make sure to rip every CD I have onto my computer, regardless of whether I ever plan on listening to it or not?

Why do I like to edit video?

There's a trite answer, of course, and you've probably guessed what it must be. I don't know, but He does, and He made me that way. OK, so it's true. Doesn't make it any less trite. And it still doesn't really answer: Why?

We humans want to know why. Most of us do, anyway. If you don't, you're either very privileged or very delusional. Why, why, why? The Psalmists asked it; Job asked it; Moses asked it.

It's okay to ask, I think. But we can't necessarily expect to get the answer. At least, not the answer we seek. God gave Job a pretty memorable answer, mostly using questions, but He never gave Job what he wanted.

His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts than our thoughts. That's scary, mindboggling, comforting. He is, after all, God, and I am, after all, little Homo sapien.

I look forward to finding out all the "why's" about me. 'Cause I think He'll reveal them, someday. He likes to reveal mysteries, in their proper time. He's going to show me how He tweaked and tinged me, formed and filled me, molded and marked me, and how vitally important every single tiny detail was in his True Myth, his Great Epic.

That's the kind of God He is. He revels in art, in craft, in beauty and glory in things made. He tells big stories, huge stories, so intricate and detailed that, even in heaven, we may never comprehend everything in them. I like that. He made me to love big stories like that.

And I still don't know why.

I used to be so wise...

2008-02-09T21:12:00.000-06:00

Got my wisdom teeth removed on Friday. Quite a pleasant experience, actually, except for what happened afterwards: the numb mouth, bleeding gums, and of course the eventual pain as my mouth protested the heartless extraction of four of its rightful inhabitants.

But yeah, the actual experience was just fine. After Friday class, I went over to the house of my F&F (fiancee and family). Played with the kids for a while, helped Lana put windshield wiper fluid in her car (that's very significant, BTW), and then my lovely wonderful girl drove me over to the oral surgeon. We presented our handsome down payment (a check courtesy of my terrific parents) to the, uh, payment lady, then sat down in the waiting room to, uh, wait.

After a few moments -- "Luke Hobbs?" -- yup, that's me, and I had to bid my lover goodbye, leaving her to imagine all the terrible things that could potentially happen to me, and head into the operating room.

Dr. James A. Remerscheid greeted me and informed me -- for the second time, as he had already told me all this when I visited to set up the appointment -- that he would give me a general anethesia. Just pop a little IV in the arm, give a few squeezes from some little knockouter-thingy, and in a few moments I would, as he put it, "go fishing." And then he'd get my teeth out.

Scarcely any pain as he deftly inserted the IV needle into my arm (directly on the other side of my elbow). He drew a little bit of blood out, then squeezed the knockouter stuff in, and almost immediately I started to get lightheaded. I was still totally conscious, but sight was definitely blurry. I commented on it to the nurses, about how it felt kinda weird but I was still definitely awake --

And I don't know when I "went fishing", whether it was at that moment or a little later on, but that's the last thing I remember.

By the time I regained consciousness, my mouth was completely numb, but I could tell that it was filled with gauze pads. The first sight I remember seeing was my lovely bride-to-be, sitting in a chair in the corner. As she later informed me, I had been awake for a while, and talking to her, but "awake" and "conscious" are two entirely different things. Apparently I told her several times (before regaining consciousness, that is) that I was pretty lucid, and that she was nice. The latter, of course, is something I tell her all the time, but it still strikes me as funny that I said it several times and don't remember it at all.

Anyways, she and one of the nurses helped me outside (I was definitely walking wobbly) to Lana's truck. We got on Rogers Avenue, took a brief detour to Wal-Mart so she could buy me some water, and then went home. My wonderful Lana stayed with me for a little while, then left to go to her home before it got dark. Then I went to sleep for a while.

By the time I woke up, a couple hours later, pain was slowly beginning to make its way into the mouth. I didn't mind terribly much, because the bleeding had pretty much stopped and I could finally get the stupid gauze out of my mouth. Mom fixed chicken noodle soup for dinner, and I was able to ingest it, if not chew it. I ate a whole bunch of it, because it was the first thing I'd had to eat since a bowl of Honey-Nut Cheerios at 8 that morning ('cause you're not supposed to eat or drink anything whatsoever for six hours before your operation).

So for the last day and a half or so, I've gotten to take it easy and rest. The doctor prescribed me some pain pills for the teeth (or lack thereof), but I only had to use 'em a couple times; Tylenol and ibuprofen the rest of the time. Think I'm gonna go take some more in a few minutes, 'cause my mouth is hurting again.

Anyways, that's my experience with wisdom teeth removal. The actual process isn't bad at all; it's the aftermath that's rather painful. I suppose that's the way it is with most surgeries. (BTW, I don't know that they actually did any "surgery"; at least three of the four teeth had come all the way in and so I think they just yanked 'em out).

It's two days after the removal, and my mouth is still fairly sore, and I'm pretty tired, but other than that I'm fine. I do want to thank a few people: Dr. Remerscheid for not messing up my facial nerves and making me unable to smile ever again; my beautiful Lana Marie for driving me and helping me and buying me water and caring for me all-around; my parents for taking care of this before I got married, and thus picking up the tab for it (I know it's a big sacrifice, Mom and Dad, but thank you so much for it; it's a blessing to me and my bride-to-be, and Lord willing it's the last major expense of mine you'll ever have to cover).

Forgot to mention that the extraction has made me grumpy at times. Or maybe I'm just inclined to be grumpy anyway and I finally have an excuse. I don't know. All I know is, yesterday I was hurting and hungry (not a good combination for a teenage guy), and irritated because I had already eaten the few things I could eat for lunch and was still starving. So my wonderful mom fixed me two baked potatoes with butter and sour cream and shredded cheese. *Sigh*...

Update on Hunted

2008-02-04T00:34:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the prolonged time between posts. I had opportunities to post, but just...didn't, for some reason. Mostly just forgetfulness. So yeah.

I wanted to address the questions about Hunted, because several of you have asked at various times, and even though my fiancee did a wonderful job of answering the most recent question, I figured maybe a word from me wouldn't hurt.

We haven't filmed anything for Hunted since...man, I'm not sure, mid to late November I guess. We stopped partially because it was getting way too cold to be out in the woods in short sleeves, but mostly because Lana and I were getting absolutely swamped with schoolwork and couldn't afford to take the time to film on Saturdays.

The film is not dead, and in fact, if you check out the hobbbottomfilms channel on YouTube (or just scroll down to the bottom of my blog page and look at the sweet player), you'll find a brief behind-the-scenes video clip from the filming of Scene 5 (a scene that I just happened to finish editing recently). My plan is to post more BTS clips in the future, just as a tease and a way to keep people interested. Of course, many are the plans in my heart, but the Lord directs the steps, so we'll see.

So here's where we are on Hunted: approximately twelve scenes stand between us and the completion of filming. I say approximately twelve because it's really hard to gauge; some scenes are partly filmed and partly not-filmed and that makes it hard to tell. But it's around twelve total. We have a couple more days out in the woods, a few more Gang scenes, and a few other loose ends.

That's the filming left. As far as editing, I haven't begun to scratch the surface there; I've edited seven scenes thus far, out of 65. 65 scenes, you ask? That many? Well, yeah, currently, but don't fret just yet; it's going to be a long movie, but not as long as that figure might make you think. Anyways, after editing comes the soundtrack (sound effects, dialogue rerecording, and musical score), and then we'll be ready to show Hunted to the world.

Is all this even achievable, as we stand right now? Good question. It shouldn't take that many days to film everything we have left (of course, my actors have heard that before, many times, and it doesn't always pan out that way), but the editing and sound work will be a huge job that I certainly can't finish till summer, if then. And by then it'll be me and my lovely wife finishing it. Amazing stacey.

So that, my friends, is where Hunted is. Finishing will be a huge challenge at this point, and I don't know that we can do it. But I know God wanted us to do this movie, and I believe He wants us to try to finish it. Whether we will is up to Him. If we do finish it, it won't be ideal, and our extended filming halt isn't going to help continuity any. But that's okay; we're to work at it with all our might, because we truly are working for the Lord, not for man.

And that comforts me, because any studio would have long ago lost patience with us and pulled the plug. (We would never have been working for a studio on this, and it would have made our situation far different, but those facts are beside the point.)

I'd like to thank you guys for your prayers and encouragement on our little film; it means so much to us. Please continue to pray. If the Lord wills, you really will get to see Hunted someday -- I pray, someday soon.

God bless!

You are now entering the SAPPINESS ZONE...Beware

2008-01-23T23:47:00.000-06:00

Well, five months of courtship, today. And four more months till marriage. Wow...There's no doubt that the 23rd is my all-time favorite day of the month. It's beautiful...

She wrote an absolutely darling post on her blog about it and about me and about things she loves about me. *Sigh* Wow...she's so sweet...

It's a wonderful idea, and I think I'd like to do the same thing, about her. (Wow, you're thinking, THAT was unpredictable.) Well, she's that amazing, and I love her so much, and I love talking about her. And I haven't really written a post about her in a while anyway. And it is the 23rd, after all. OK, so I'm sure you'll agree that there are plenty of reasons for me to do this. Let us then proceed. If you don't like the sappiness, I'm sorry and don't feel obligated to read it; it's not really for all the rest of you anyway.

What do I love about my fiancee? Mmm...

I love her radiant smile; she insists on calling it crooked and I still don't see really what she means; I mean, I've never seen anyone with a straight smile. Isn't it impossible to have a straight smile, by definition? Anyways, yeah, her smile is knock-me-down gorgeous.
I love how she takes care of me. She takes advantage of every opportunity she gets now; just wait till we're married.
I love how she's mature and deep and profound, and yet also can say stupid things, pursue (seemingly) pointless lines of discussion with me, and laugh at my idiocy.
I love how she dresses, never ostentatious but always stylish and simple.
I love her range of voice, whether she's reading things aloud (you may not like it, darling, but I do), arguing an important point in class discussion, or whispering secrets to me.
I love how she is never demanding, never tries to manipulate me into doing what she wants, because all she wants is to be with me and for me to be happy. I was thrilled to be able to get her the engagement ring that she had wanted, a marquise solitaire in white gold band, but I know for a fact that she would have been thrilled with any ring I might have given her, and never would have thought to complain.
I love how she holds LilyPie and never treats her as baggage but always as a person to be loved and sung to and danced with and talked to.
I love how, when she's cooking, she climbs onto the counter to reach the high cabinets (even though it makes me frightfully nervous and I hope to eliminate it by getting high things for her when we're married).
I love how she pours herself into her work, whether it's cooking, writing, cleaning, or studying.
I love her hands; she doesn't like them (or didn't, at least) but I truly cannot imagine any more beautiful hands, and I can't wait to hold them.
I love how well she knows me and how she can tell when something's bothering me.
I love that her heart is that of a shining servant: she wants to serve God first and love Him with her everything, then serve and love me with her everything, then serve and love the rest of her family (now it's parents and siblings; eventually it will be our kids, hers and mine).
I love her willingness to come be a part of my church, even though it's outside her comfort zone and even though it's going to be so hard for her.
I love that she's acutely aware of her failings and shortcomings, and doesn't try to hide them from me.
I love that she tells me about myself, and lets me tell her about herself.
I love how she guarded her heart for me and did not let me in until I asked with parental blessing.
I love how she looked at me through the tears in her eyes and returned my love, as soon as I told her I love her. Without hesitation.
I love that she is my girl and no one else's, and that she is giving me her everything, holding nothing back.
I love how I can look into her eyes and see my reflection.
I love her green eyes, the most beautiful eyes God has ever made, eyes that He made for me.

I could go on and on and on ("and you already have," the rest of you are groaning), but it's considerably past my bedtime, so I'll stop there. Although the posting day will read the 23rd, it is now the 24th - three months and twenty-nine days till I marry my Lana Marie. I still have trouble believing it. Wow...

Thank You, Father, for the unspeakable gift that is my lover. I ask you to allow me to love my princess the way she deserves, to always treasure her and love her as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. I praise Your Name, my God; the life You've given me is the opposite of what I deserve, but to share life with Lana...You are too good to me.

My Lana, I miss you terribly, and I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I love you.

All right, so I'm doing it

2008-01-21T11:26:00.000-06:00

OK, my sister tagged me (whatever that means), so I'm going to do the, er, tag thing. Mostly because she half-begged me to do it and put on her blogpost that she didn't think I would. So ha, provin' you wrong, my sis!

8 Things I'm Passionate About:
1. King Jesus, my Savior, my Lord, my divine Lover
2. The fairest maiden who has ever lived, my own dear Lana Marie
3. Pointing people to their Creator, whether or not they know Him already
4. My family - parents and sibs, in-laws, extended, church...thank God for them!
5. Leading people in singing the praises of their God
6. Writing - using words to create a work that honors God and ultimately draws people to Him
7. Preparing to be a godly husband and father
8. Reading good writing

8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die:
1. Wow, um, this'll be a shocker to you, but...MARRY LANA ON MAY 23!
2. Have kids with Lana and raise them to know and love God
3. See all of my kids enter into a passionate love relationship with Jesus
4. Become a published author
5. Complete my novel about Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection
6. Go to FtF 08 and see the fire fall (not literally this year, unfortunately)
7. Ride on the Fort Smith Transit with Lana
8. Get raptured, and thus, not die at all

8 Things I Say Often:
1. "I love you." (Hmm, who might I be saying that to?)
2. "Shut everything else out and focus on God." (My youth group can testify to that)
3. "Sing it out."
4. "Amazing stacey."
5. "You're so beautiful." (See #1)
6. "That's nice."
7. "You're nice."
8. "Whatcha thinkin'?" (See #5 for each of the last three)

8 Books I've Read Recently:
1. The Case for a Creator by Lee Strobel
2. The End of the Third Age by J. R. R. Tolkien, edited by Christopher Tolkien
3. Chosen by Ted Dekker
4. Infidel by Ted Dekker
5. The Complete Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson
6. Me, Myself, and Bob by Phil Vischer
7. When Dreams Come True by Eric and Leslie Ludy
8. Oh, wait, does the Bible count? Well, then, yeah.

8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over:
1. "Breathe in Me" by Michael W. Smith
2. "Lemonade" by Chris Rice
3. "No Ordinary Love" by TobyMac
4. "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by Steven Curtis Chapman
5. "Why Should the Devil (Have All the Good Music) by Geoff Moore and the Distance
6. "Audience of One" by Big Daddy Weave
7. "Already Over" by Red
8. "Can't Stop Praising" by Hillsong

8 Albums I Love (I added this one because there's just too much good music out there):
1. I'll Lead You Home by Michael W. Smith
2. End of Silence by Red
3. Jesus Freak by dc Talk
4. Lifesong by Casting Crowns
5. Song Cinema by Mark Schultz
6. Evolution by Geoff Moore and the Distance
7. The Jesus Record by Rich Mullins and the Ragamuffin Band
8. Jars of Clay by Jars of Clay (the one I'm listening to right now)

8 Things That Attract Me to My Best Friend (ooh, this'll be fun):
1. She loves God passionately, above everything else
2. She loves me more than anyone else (how can you not be attracted to someone like that?)
3. She is so beautiful that it distracts me when I'm trying to think
4. She has a gentle and kind spirit, and a warm personality
5. She's funny
6. She smells good
7. She knows me better than anyone else and has more wisdom about important things than I do
8. She's a woman (pretty important, dontcha think?), and the most amazing woman I've ever met at that

8 Things I've Learned This Past Year:
1. Everything truly is in His hands
2. His plans may fulfill my plans or wreck them, but they're always better than mine
3. Waiting to awaken love until it so desires really is worth it
4. Romance really does make you as insane as I've always heard - maybe even more so
5. When my faith is tested, it's tested at the roots - He always asks me, "Do you believe?"
6. I'm even more prideful and arrogant than I thought
7. My (future) wife really does have to be my #2 priority, after God
8. Don't ever film a full-length movie in your directorial debut

8 People I'm Tagging:
Nope, sorry, here's where I get off.

Christ alone

2008-01-14T23:43:00.000-06:00

Everything I am is because of Him. I have no identity apart from Him, no life, no freedom, no love.

He is my all; He is everything; He alone is God.

Before the earth was formed He knew me; before the earth was formed He made His choice.

It was a choice, for me. No one took His life from Him; He gave it up of His own will.

They accused Him of profaning God. And then they put God on a cross and left Him to die.

Because His Father said so.

In the garden He agonized, prayed, cried out; before His accusers and facing His tormentors He was silent. Truth stood still and uttered no word, and Pilate ordered that Truth be sent to Skull Hill and crucified.

He hung suspended, bleeding, trembling, the Maker of galaxies and constellations. He can hold the universe in the palm of His hand, and He hung on a Roman cross outside Jerusalem, while Tiberius ruled the world.

Reluctantly the earth accepted the blood of its Maker. It must be so.

Down His head dropped; the ground convulsed in pain, unable to bear defeat.

It shook again on Sunday morning, a shout that all creation could feel, glorious, victory.

And the Victor stood on His maimed feet and rattled a ring of keys.

And my captors trembled, and knew their loss, and the walls of my prison quaked, and the doors flew open.

And I walked out of my tomb and stood beside Him. A victor, too, and more than a victor, through Him who loves me.

He was dead and is alive, and so I am. Through Him. He is all.

In Christ alone I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the Cross
In every victory, let it be said of me
My source of strength, my source of hope
Is Christ alone.

School starts tomorrow...

2008-01-08T23:00:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow it's:
History and Development of the English Language 10:00-10:50
History of the United States 1900-1945 11:00-11:50
Editing for Usage, Style, and Clarity 1:00-2:15

Then on Thursday I have:
Imaginative Writing 9:30-10:45
Advanced Nonfiction Writing 12:30-1:45

Right now I'm actually almost excited about the semester. Well, maybe it would be more accurate to say that I'm not dreading it (which is still pretty good). Mr. Cooper, a wonderful instructor who taught two of my classes last semester, returns as my Editing prof. And I've got my all-time (thus far) favorite instructor, Ann Winters, for Imaginative Writing.

And I've got my all-time favorite classmate for four of my five classes, so that's, like, pretty much the greatest thing about this semester. No, it really is. That and the fact that it's my last semester as a bachelor.

It's pretty cool because every week, I can be counting down to not just summer break, but the most anticipated day of my life too. Wait, did I say pretty cool? Yeah, that's amazing stacey.

Printing CtB on Friday, Lord willing. Thank you to all who subscribe to this magazine and help it in any way. We've been doing it for over two years now!

And let me just take this opportunity to say that I love my fiancee and she is the most incredible person in the world! Lana, my darling, you're so godly and beautiful and smart and thoughtful and Christ-like and loving and sensitive, and I cannot wait to wed you nineteen weeks from this Friday!

A day draws near

2008-01-02T23:08:00.000-06:00

"A day draws near that I have looked for in all the years of my manhood, and when it comes I would have my friends beside me." - Aragorn, The Return of the King

I remember driving home in near-total ecstasy on the night of Thursday, August 23, unable to believe what God had just allowed me to experience with the love of my life. Since I am, of course, a Lord of the Rings nerd, the above quote popped into my brain, and I resolved to post it on my blog.

Except, I quickly realized, it wasn't really that appropriate for the onset of my and Lana's courtship. It would find more apt use in the announcement of our wedding date. Accordingly, I give it now.

It gives me great pleasure to announce to the breathless ears of cyberspace, that if the Lord wills, Lana Marie and I will be united in holy matrimony on Friday, May 23. Please mark your calendars and make your plans accordingly.

As for where the wedding and reception will take place and what time, we'll let you know when we get a little closer to May 23.

Shalom out, my Hebrew homies.

At the tail end of New Year's Day

2008-01-01T23:58:00.000-06:00

Hey all, wanted to get this post in before January 1 ends. Happy New Year, everyone! Should old acquaintance be forgot and all that jazz. I'll post again more substantively, tomorrow hopefully. In the meantime, I pray that God blesses all of you readers in the year of our Lord 2008!

In the meantime, I'd like to ask you to pray for an unspoken need. Can't give any details; I just ask you to pray for it that God's will is done and His Name glorified.

CtB, and please pray for Lana

2007-12-28T13:27:00.000-06:00

Well, it's Friday of Christmas week; the break is now halfway over and school will be back to smack in the face before I know it. Today I'm planning on editing some Hunted footage and working on articles for the next issue of CtB. Yes indeed, CtB is alive and well, and while our Jan/Feb 08 issue will probably get out rather late, it will come if the Lord wills. You can send in your submissions to calltobattle@mail.com; as always, we can't promise to print them, but we definitely welcome whatever you'd like to send.

Please keep praying for my Lana Marie; she's been feeling really bad the last few days. Worse than usual, which is saying something considering that she's been sick for months and months. Very possibly she may have caught something extra from Tony, who may have gotten it from me, and I may have gotten it from...never mind. That doesn't matter. Just please pray for her faithfully. She's been studying for two CLEP tests and thus has gotten basically no Christmas break, which doesn't help at all when you're trying to feel better. She probably won't be able to work on CtB much at all this time. Anyways, pray, please.

Well, better go so I can start writing. Hope all of my readers are having a wonderful holiday season and that God pours out His blessings on you as you look to begin a new year. For now, namarie!

MY priceless treasure and her favorite Christmas present

2007-12-26T15:51:00.000-06:00

Yeah, I know, you can't see it really well. But there's my lovely fiancee with her lovely diamond ring. Lily doesn't look very happy in that particular pic, but I think she's dealing with the title change well, overall. Pretty amazing to think that she probably won't be able to remember a time when her big sister wasn't married to that Luke guy.

EDIT: Oh, I just realized, after viewing an enlarged version of the pic (click on the pic to see it MUCH bigger, though the ring still isn't that clear, sadly), Lily's not crying; she's chewing on the Snickers bar Josi gave me.

A Title Change

2007-12-25T21:37:00.000-06:00

Well, Merry Christmas to all; hope you had a great one. I know I did.

Not the least because there has been a title change. Again. Not a status change, mind you. But a title change. You may, very shortly, find out a bit more about that by heading over to my FIANCEE's blog.

Here's to romance. And Christmas is good too.

The Sickies, and Being Ready

2007-12-22T16:17:00.000-06:00

Well, the sickies finally caught up with me. You can only elude their grasp for so long. I've had some fever the last couple of days, a bit of a sore throat, and some congestion of the nasal cavity. It wasn't a bad time to be sick, because it forced me to get some rest. At least, it wasn't a bad time until today; I was supposed to go with Lana's family to a Christmas get-together with her dad's family, and I had to miss it. Really wanted to go, and I know they wanted me to as well...:-(

But that's the hand that God's dealt me. So today I've been working this afternoon to get ready for the Christmas musical endeavour at our church tomorrow night. I think it's gonna be pretty neat. Unfortunately my darling is going to have to miss it because of family stuff; my Lana, we really must talk sometime and figure out whether it would work to marry each other. ;-) The courtship period is hard because we're so in love and so connected and emotionally intimate, and yet there's still a feeling of disjointedness. I haven't yet left my father and mother to cleave to her and become one flesh with her, and so we're apart. While courtship is a blast, I'm glad this isn't as far as it goes.

And I know that being married will be hard, in different ways. It'll be our family, our household, forming our own identity. (We've talked a little about that, but it probably wouldn't help you to share what we discussed.) We'll have new responsibilities, new difficulties, and of course new joys.

It's scary, and exciting. I marvel at what God has done in our lives (particularly in mine, I suppose, since I'm the one living it) to bring us closer to marriage. Six months ago, even though I knew who I was going to marry, marriage seemed distant, a dream still a long time from fulfillment. Even after I began courting Lana, I figured there would be a lengthy time before we got married. And even after I started hoping and thinking about this coming summer for our union, I still wasn't ready in a lot of ways, still needed to grow up and mature and sort through the emotions.

Am I ready now? Of course, I think that in a sense, I always have been and never will be. In different ways, of course. But that sidesteps the question: Am I ready?

Only God knows. I think so. I hope so. But I don't know. And at this point, I don't think the issue is about me being ready or Lana being ready. The issue is: Are we ready?

And I want us to be. I want it so bad. Right now I'm in the position of praying, and studying, and seeking counsel, and having to rely on God that we'll make the right decision. I find myself in that spot a lot, and I don't always handle it like I should. Somehow He still shows me His grace; He still blesses me with an amazing bride-to-be and two awesome parents and two wonderful parents-in-law(-to-be). And He still guides me down paths of righteousness, for His Name's sake.

Most of you my readers (at least, the ones that post comments; I don't know how many lurkers are out there) aren't yet in the position of having to make decisions like these. That's a good thing. But again, let me urge you to use your time as a single to draw near to God, and to prepare for marriage. The decisions -- who you'll marry, when you'll marry, where you'll live, how you'll earn money, etc. -- will still loom large one day, but you'll have trained so that you can tackle them head-on.

Above all, remember: It all comes down to His grace. What a great and glorious God we serve!

Honor

2007-12-17T18:20:00.000-06:00

By popular request...at least, it's a popular request if SHE requests it. ;-)

This was my familiar essay for Advanced Composition, a class that I took LAST SEMESTER (HA!).

It goes out of its way to explain at least a few things that you already know, but my writing teacher didn't know them, so I put them in there. I'm sure you won't mind hearing them again.

I would like to dedicate it to my editor, who is the most beautiful editor I ever met and who provided needed help in improving this paper. I think I'd like to marry her, actually. I wonder if it's okay to have that kind of relationship with your editor...

Honor

In an age where sensuality rules, the old concept of honorable romance has been all but abandoned. Rampant dating has made us break all the rules that used to hold for love – and to be proud about it. There’s no respect for parents, no respect for a girl’s heart, certainly no respect for her body. Honor, the idea of truly respecting another person and putting her before yourself, is a thing of the past. Once upon a time, a girl could hold out hope that her date wouldn’t kiss her on their first time out. Now most guys want to do nothing but find a bed, and aren’t afraid to get down to business about it. It’s an age of STIs, of date rape, and of broken homes before and after sex.

But somewhere on this earth, honor is alive and well. Somewhere a guy respects a girl and loves her enough to wait – not merely for sex, but for his love to be returned. Somewhere the world is screaming “foul”, wondering what he’s thinking, why he doesn’t just peel off her clothes and be done with it, or at least hold her hand. Welcome to my love story.

Thursday, August 23, 2007. A warm evening but not hot, few bugs, clear sky. A perfect night, all in all, I thought, as I stood on the property of the Loukota family just outside Van Buren. They had been my good friends for several years, and now they, and their daughter in particular, were about to become so much more. I knew that, and they knew that; she didn’t, and it was our job to surprise her in storybook fashion.

We had set a clever trap, the parents and I. While the original plan was mine, it was woefully inadequate. Tyler and Tracy helped me to crank up the romance scale and turn this night into one that Lana Marie Loukota and I would never forget.

Picnic table out by the Loukotas’ pond, set with a blue checkered tablecloth that just happened to match my shirt. Candles floating, that’s right, floating, on the pond; hanging from tree branches around; adorning the table. A bottle of the tastiest grape juice I have ever put in my mouth. And a perfect hiding place about seventy feet away, where I could lie in wait for my beloved.

We had tossed around a couple different contrivances for getting Lana out there. Tyler finally decided on a pretty sneaky one. The day before, he reminded Lana about when she was younger and had had poor table manners. Back then, he had told her that whenever she became a real lady, he would take her out to dinner. They had both forgotten about it for a long time. He would take her out to the pond as if to fulfill his promise. She would see the setup as providing an evening with her dad, not realizing who she would really spend it with.

It’s 8:10 pm and I’m pacing nervously among the trees. T. J., the eldest Loukota child at twenty, has returned home with his two youngest brothers, whom he had taken to McDonald’s: a diversion for him and for them. He’s now doing something over in the shop, a mere twenty feet away. I wonder whether he’ll spot me; later he will tell me that he briefly noticed something through the window but dismissed the sight as nothing.

My phone rings. It’s Tyler, though the plan was for it to be Tracy. I open it, knowing what he’s about to say. “Hello?”

“Start counting,” he replies tersely, then hangs up. It’s the preordained signal to let me know that Lana has returned from Riverwalk, a local apartment complex where she is involved in a church ministry on Thursday nights.

I shut the phone and focus on my watch, the one that Tyler gave me nine days ago when I asked him if I could court his daughter. It’s a nice watch, and it will always remind me of how much Lana’s parents care for me. For right now, it mostly reminds me that my time as a single is running out. Two minutes to wait, two minutes. Time has never flown faster.

At about one minute and thirty seconds, I begin to hear the roar of an approaching train on the tracks just outside the property. It gets louder and louder. I nearly panic; what I am about to do will not work with the train this loud. Mercifully, it dies down a bit but still continues, and I am able to go forward with the plan at about the two minute, twenty second mark.

I call Lana. Her dad will be in the bathroom, waiting for me to call her while he’s ostensibly doing something else. She answers. I try to hide a quaver in my voice as I ask her how the evening at Riverwalk went. She’s excited about it; a good number of kids showed up and they had a delightful time. I express some meaningless positive thought in response.

Soon, she informs me that she has to let me go and will call me back. I know far better than she does why she has to let me go, but don’t say anything about it. We say our goodbyes and hang
up. I crouch in my hiding spot and wait.

About forty seconds later, my future bride and her father come walking into sight, toward the table, holding hands. She looks around in wonder at the atmosphere he and I have worked hard to create. Tyler seats her with her back to me, facing the pond and its floating candles. He takes a seat opposite her and begins to talk.

I’m not really sure what he said; he wasn’t sure beforehand exactly what he’d say either, but he told me to wait twenty seconds and then come bail him out. I follow the plan and begin stepping cautiously, quietly, toward my true love. The train is still moving in the background, providing some great sound cover.

It’s too perfect. I get right up behind Lana without her hearing me. Tyler has glanced over at me a couple times while I was on my way, and now he tells Lana something about being sorry that she had to hang up with Luke. Completely disingenuous, tsk tsk; but the divinely appointed opening.

I open my mouth and in a flash she knows. “Yeah, I guess I understand if you can’t call me back right away.”

She turns and gapes for just a moment, then smiles, stunning me with her composure. Tyler says something; I again don’t know what and I don’t figure she does either because we were both paying attention to something else. Anyways, my future father-in-law makes his exit for the house, and I sit at the table across from my true love.

Of course, I knew what I’d say once I sat down. Our standard greeting, unimaginative, but fitting. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she responds. My heartbeat speeds up. This is really it, kid. You’re really here. You’ve made it.

Helplessly, I stall for about a minute and a half. “So do you want to small talk?”

She shrugs graciously and says “I don’t care”, still smiling. Of course she doesn’t want to small talk. She wants you to spit it out and make all her dreams come true. So do it, chump.

Opening my mouth, I try really hard. But I can’t do it. I just can’t. I need help from God, and so I ask if we can pray. Of course we can. We bow our heads, and I take a deep breath. Then another. And another.

I pour out my heart to God briefly, thanking Him for His goodness and asking Him to help me tonight. Amen, and we look up. And I can’t be silent about this anymore. She’s waiting, for heaven’s sake.

Mentally I clear my throat, unfortunately having no reason to do it physically. “All right, I’ll cut to the chase. With the blessing of both sets of parents, I would like to ask you to enter into a courtship relationship with me, culminating in marriage.”

There. Statement One has been made. That one’s easy compared to Statement Two. The ball is now, temporarily, in her court. Her eyes glisten as they fix steadily on mine. “What can I say?” she finally blurts. “I’d love to?” I can’t help but smile. “Yes,” I hear, “I will.”

Wow. Just, wow. With the fact that we are now officially a couple established, we begin to talk about all kinds of things, all centered on what has just begun. The candlelight allows us to spend a lot of time looking into each other’s eyes, and it’s a whole new experience. We’ve looked each other in the eye before, but would never have allowed ourselves to drink the other person in, to gaze unblinking into one another’s souls. I can’t hold her gaze for very long; it’s so piercingly innocent and joyful.

After a while of alternate talking and silent gazing, I begin to review our relationship, from the day we first met to the present. I reference February 27 as the day that I knew I was going to marry her, but let her know that I’m not going to tell her about what specifically happened then until later. She allows me to skip over it and carry us to the present.

We talk for a long time more, about kids and courting and parents and how great God is. All the while, though I’m more conscious of her than anything else, I cannot believe how amazingly perfect the evening is. I don’t want it to ever end.

At last, ten o’clock draws near, the time set by her parents for us to come back to the house. And I still haven’t told her about February 27. Finally, after waiting past ten, I know I can delay no longer. Statement Two must finish the deal, now.

“My lady,” I begin in a clipped British accent, “you have shown remarkable patience and forbearance, but time is running short and we still have not discussed the matter of the 27th of February. Do you wish to do so now?”

With eyes dancing, she smiles and answers formally, “I do.”

“Very well; then I shall tell you.” But before telling her, I want to make something very clear. “Lana, let me preface this by saying that I don’t want you to think that I merely believe this is God’s will, although I do; that I merely love you as a friend, although I do; or that I am merely very strongly attracted to you, although I am.”

And I proceed to tell her about 2/27/07. We were in American Lit class that day at UAFS, with Mrs. Winters our professor. It was the day we had gotten our graded essays back, and because of a technicality Lana hadn’t realized, she got a D on it. Mrs. Winters offered an opportunity to revise the essay and redeem much of her score, but Lana was still completely torn up. She didn’t stop crying through American Lit, and was still crying as we went to our next class. I relive it all for her, telling her how terrible I felt about it, how unable I was to even try to comfort her. And then how, sitting with her in the lecture hall of the Gardner Building, waiting for American Revolution to commence, I fell in love with her. We had been best friends for a while at that point, but that was the moment when God showed me that we were to marry, and allowed me to give my heart away. I had kept it back all my life, had never allowed any girl to have it, and from that moment it was all hers.

And I wrap up by saying those long-awaited words to my bride-to-be: “Lana, I love you.”

Her eyes begin to well up again as she takes in all that I have told her. Then, quietly, she fulfills my dream. “I love you too.”

But I want to make something clear. “Do you?” I query.

“I do.”

Because, I say, I don’t want to pressure her in this in any way. “I want you to always know that when I tell you I love you, it’s not because I want to hear it back. It’s because it’s true.”

She stares at me with gratitude and, yes, love, and reaffirms that she truly does love me.

And I am overwhelmed. I go on to tell her another vital thing that I have longed to say for so long: how beautiful she is. To tell her that “I truly believe you are the most beautiful creature I have ever put my eyes on.” Awkward wording at the last, but at least I get it out. I tell her that she’s not merely beautiful, but pretty; that there is a difference in my view. Tears form in her eyes again. She knows at last how beautiful she is, how I see her. “And I like to think,” I finish, “that when I look at you, I get a glimpse of the beauty that God sees when He looks at you.”

She gazes at me tearfully. “That’s beautiful,” she whispers. “Thank you. Thank you.”

After a short while longer, we blow out the candles, head back to the house, and inform her brothers of our status change. We’ve waited for years to fall in love, have kept our hearts back, have stayed away from any semblance of romance. We will still wait to express any physical affection, even holding hands, until the wedding day. But the journey has begun, and we’re taking it together.

You just can’t tell me honor is dead. You can’t tell me it doesn’t work. You can’t tell me it’s not romantic.

My eyes tell me otherwise.

The Word from the Cave

2007-12-07T21:21:00.000-06:00

Sitting here knowing I need to do some schoolwork, but my brain isn't very motivated to get up and start functioning like it's supposed to. The rest of the body isn't helping things. The eyes are going, "Can you like give us a break already?" The fingers are getting sick of having to move around and do my bidding on this keyboard. The legs are feeling rebellious; they want to do what they want to do; it seems like they're sick both of sitting still and of moving.

The eyes command the attention, because if they shut down, it gets very dark. So my fingers take a break from the board and become masseuses for a few seconds. The mouth obeys the command of the tired brain and opens for a nice yawn. The legs start bouncing up and down, tired and restless. Deep down somewhere in my chest cavity, the heart works as rhythmically and methodically as it ever has; good thing, because if it emerged and heard the complaints from the rest of the body, it might decide to just start taking breaks or something. That wouldn't be particularly conducive to my health.

More yawns. The arms stretch and flex, trying to get more comfortable. The fingers drag themselves over the keys, no longer caring to lift themselves up, no longer worried about my blasted typing accuracy.

The brain, perhaps startled into action by the Two Towers battle music emanating from my computer speakers, rouses itself and starts shouting out commands. "Sit up straight! Blink a few times! Type properly! You've got work to do!"

OK. It's right. I settle into the chair, position myself taller, force the fingers to hit the keys high and with pride. It's time to work.

It's Friday, the week before finals. Things are now set in motion that cannot be undone. The body shudders a restless breath and begins.

The Beating of Your Life

2007-12-01T00:56:00.000-06:00

OK, well, I should probably be in bed, but tomorrow's a Saturday and I don't have to get up at all if I don't feel like it (OK, that's a slight exaggeration), and I'm still trying to clear my brain from today. So I figured I'd give ya'll a blog post on this the First Day of the Month of Decembre in Anno Domini Two Zero Zero Seven. Since some of you have been loudly demanding it for a while.

This has been absolutely the craziest week ever. At least a nominee for the title, anyway. It's been way down, it's been way up, it's been invigorating, numbing, energizing, tiring, sad, happy, torturous, fun. Sorry, I like to use series of adjectives like that; someday I'll do that in some great book, I'm sure, but till then you'll have to cope with me doing it multiple times.

Sometimes I just wish life would go away for a while and leave me alone. Just for a little while. Not the people in my life, of course, no -- there wouldn't be much point in being all alone, without my family or my church or my Lana or anyone there.

I'm beginning to realize that this is what happens when you grow up. It's not that you necessarily become any less of a kid, though you certainly have to become a lot more of an adult. But the grind of life hits you and it never stops. It rolls right over you and keeps coming. It never stops. It picks you up off the ground so it can throw you down again. It never stops.

Even when it does go away for a while, it's still there. You can't escape it forever. At best you get brief respites. But it won't really go away. It doesn't go away on Saturday. It doesn't go away on your honeymoon. It doesn't go away on vacation. It just allows you to forget about it for a little while.

And then it's back full force, smacking you in the face, daring you to look it in the eye. 7:30, buddy boy, time to get up. Long day ahead of you. You groan like an overmatched boxer and stagger up for another round; the knockout hasn't ended the match.

On and on you go, as days turn into years. Your body starts to break down. You're too tired to cry at the pain anymore. Bam! An uppercut across the chest. Then another. And another. And another.

You sink to the ground, eyes open and blood-filled, vacant. You wait to be picked up again for more pummeling. You want to die.

And then you do.

The blood clears your eyes in a flash; you rise up without thinking about it; the crowd begins to cheer. You look down and see your enemy lying fallen to the floor. You don't know how he got there. He glares up at you, powerless.

Then the Referee strides to your side; He grabs your hand and thrusts it aloft in His own. Without looking at His hand, you can feel the hole in it.

You fall down again as the crowd cascades cheers. The laurel drops off your head and rests at His feet. You look up and He's smiling, puts His wounded hands on your shoulders. He doesn't have to say anything.

And suddenly it hits you in a flash. You search His eyes in wonderment. His smile broadens as He nods. The crowd becomes deafening.

You were winning all along.

Like all portrayals of life that we humans can concoct, this one's skewed, and that's intentional. The boxing match analogy falls pretty far short in some areas. Life isn't all just one big beating. There's magnificent joy, not just exhausted tears; great victories, not just crushing defeats. The abundant life, the one that He gives us, that dwells inside us, that bursts forth like the dawn, runs counter to the life that we fight everyday. And it triumphs over it.

But the life that we live, threescore and ten years or however long it may be, is nothing. One day we will open our eyes and it will be gone. Forever.

The crowd will erupt and we will see the Savior's face. We will have escaped, not because we found a way out, but because Someone took the keys and threw the doors open.

We will step into the life that is true life. And we won't ever want a break from it. We won't ever get tired of it. We won't ever pound our head against the wall hoping the headache will somehow go away.

There will be no more headache.

And we will live forever with Him, you and me and the hosts of the redeemed. We'll celebrate the victory of the match, and worship the Winner.

And He will praise us, because He has made us winners too.

On Food

2007-11-22T21:48:00.001-06:00

Wow. Today I ate the Thanksgiving Dinner of Eternal Stuffedness. Nine and a half hours later, I'm still not hungry. I did something I generally don't do on Thanksgiving -- gorged myself. I think it was the two pieces of chocolate-chip pound cake that did it. After the four-layer delight, I mean.

Anyways, Hannah said I'll probably make up for it tomorrow by not eating as much, since I'll be with my lover and I'll probably be talking to her a bunch. After saying that, she changed her mind and said that we'd actually probably be mostly looking into each other's eyes. She's a smart one, that sister of mine...

I'll probably eat something in a couple of hours here, because I can tell I'm going to get hungry fairly soon. I did snack on a few leftovers from dinner at suppertime, so it's not like I haven't eaten anything since then.

Anyways, yeah, eating. Quite enjoyable; I like it very much. My darling Lana isn't as fond of it as I am; there are of course foods that she likes, but on the whole she sees eating as something you have to do (or in her case sometimes, something you SHOULD do but DON'T; I love you, darling), rather than something you get to do.

But I'm a teenage boy and will be for another year-plus, and I loved eating long before I turned thirteen. I mean, sure, it's primarily a means of satisfying your bodily needs, but it's pretty pleasurable as well. Thanksgiving dinner isn't my favorite, not really even close to my favorite. What I can't wait for is Christmas: For that, instead of doing traditional turkey-dressing-potatoes-blah stuff, my dad's family cooks up Mexican. Oh yeah, that's awesome stuff there...

As far as what my favorite is, I would have to go with my mom's homemade pizza (preferred meat on it is sausage; sorry darling). Among my other favorites would be tacos, chili, vegetable-beef soup, chicken and dumplings, lasagna, and spaghetti; all as my mom makes them, of course.

So what are some of you guys' favorite foods?

Exclusive look at filming on October 27

2007-11-16T00:48:00.000-06:00

Hey all, in honor of Hunted and the idea of providing something different for the eye to gaze upon, here are some pics from way back on October 27. Taken by one of our lovely assistant directors, the indispensable Nan/Sarah/Hannah herself (we'll make sure she gets into the credits by that name somewhere).

It was pretty cold to start out, but warmed up as we went. The first scene we filmed featured Carl talking on the phone to Clyde (and having Dusty actually there to read his lines off-camera did not benefit Chris one iota as he gave his performance)

After doing another scene where an angry Carl talks with lovable henchman Pete (T. J., shown on the left in the next pic), we went to do a dramatic moment between Eric and Clyde.

And oh, hey, thought I'd try the Blogger video upload since I've never tried to put anything on here with it. Check out some raw footage Hannah took using our digital camera. Man, we're just raining spoilers tonight...

Well, hope you enjoyed a special, exclusive, behind-the-scenes, never-before-seen look at a small part of a day of filming on the most anticipated movie of 2007, uh, I mean, 2008. And yes Meggy, we're still working on it; it's very much alive and will survive, if the Lord wills.

Why Being a Movie Director Is Cool

2007-11-10T21:57:00.000-06:00

Being a movie director is cool because...

...you get to work with professional actors who know exactly how to deliver what you want, the first time. (Hey, that made me laugh.)

...you never have to go very far when you want to reach out and strangle the writer who wrote this stupid script.

...it's a job title that never fails to impress.

...you get to spend a lot of time around your gorgeous lead actress.

...people stop saying, "Are you guys still making those stupid movies?" and start saying, "Hey, I can't wait to see your movie!"

...you get a bunch of underlings with titles ranging from "First Assistant Director" to "Script-Holder Guy."

...people's destinies rest in your hands ("Sorry, but no, we'll have to keep doing takes until we actually get it right.").

...you get more time than you could ever want to work on qualities such as patience, humility, and kindness.

...you never wake up bored on a Saturday going, "Man, I have nothing to do today!"

...you get to work to fulfill your vision and then see it on screen.

OK, so I caved and threw a heartwarming, nauseating one in there at the end. What are you gonna do, sue me?

As much fun as I may have with the idea of why being a movie director is cool, I know that God has put me in this position for reasons that I mainly can't even comprehend. I have learned so much while working on this movie -- about movies and about a ton of other things. Mostly I have learned the lesson that I will continue to learn over and over again until He calls me home: that I am a sinful man in need of a Savior. Praise the Father for sending One.

Class last night

2007-11-05T09:32:00.000-06:00

Sunday night class last night was pretty cool. I am really blessed to be able to teach it; it's helped me tremendously, and I hope it's helped my youth group as well.

Last week we had started talking about witnessing. I wanted to go through the subject because we haven't studied it in a long time, not in class anyway. Dusty and Chris teach a tract time at church camp called "Extreme Evangelism - They Don't Serve Breakfast in Hell", but not all of our youth have taken it; and some probably needed a refresher.

So we've been discussing witnessing, and it's a lot of fun. Last night we continued something we'd started last week. I had been having people give the references to Bible verses that might be useful in witnessing. Last week we'd gotten the basic verses of the Roman Road: Romans 3:23, 6:23, 5:8, and 10:9. Those verses are the most popular to use in witnessing, and don't get me wrong, I think they're great and we should absolutely know them and use them. But I wanted to see what else the youth would come up with for witnessing verses.

Over about 30 minutes, they pretty much blew me away. They listed some more obvious ones: Acts 16:31, Ephesians 2:8, John 3:16. But most of them were leafing through their Bibles looking for more references while others shared theirs, and they found verse after verse that could be used in sharing the Gospel. Stuff like John 10:9-10, Isaiah 55:6-7, Matthew 1:21, and on and on.

Many of them didn't just share a pertinent verse; they would also explain why the verse might be useful in a witnessing opportunity. That really blessed me too, because one of my major goals as I teach Sunday night class is that the youth not merely learn stuff, but learn how to apply it and use it in their lives.

We had a really good time and came up with far more verses than I had ever imagined. Hannah's going to type them up and let everybody have copies next week, so that they can look at the verses further and hopefully memorize them (I encourage that). Also next week, we're going to discuss different questions or issues that might come up while you're witnessing to someone, and we'll do some scenarios. That's right, situations where people like Dusty or Chris or Jordan or Trevor or whoever can both practice and demonstrate ways to witness.

It's pretty cool to see the youth getting into this; evangelism is one of the most important things we can talk about and do, and I hope and pray they're seeing the importance. I'm looking forward to class on Sunday night. Thank You, God, for giving me a youth group that seeks to know You and Your Word better, and for the opportunity to teach them what little I know!

A stolen post (as in, I don't have time to write it)

2007-11-01T00:42:00.000-05:00

Hey, hello, how are ya, welcome aboard, as Sean Hannity says.

I don't really have time to post right now, at all; should be in bed at this point, but it's been too long and I needed to get something on here, and I'm not feeling that tired, so you won't be seeing any One-Eyed One-Horned Flying Purple People-Eaters today, nothing more tragic than a run-on sentence.

I had something I was gonna say and I totally forgot it. Maybe I am tired after all. Ah well.

Oh, yeah, if you've got a filter that keeps you off YouTube (our desktop does, or did), and you want to see Hunted previews, check out www.godtube.com. It's the Christian version of YouTube, fairly cool though obviously not quite so polished as the real thing, and just do a search on it for, I don't know, Hunted or Hobbbottom or something like that. I've got the preview and the teaser up (the ones I previously featured on this blog) and so far both have grabbed a lot of views; I'm curious to know who's watching them.

Anyways, wanted to let ya'll know about that. I guess I'll get out of here and get in my bed and get nice sleep. Thanks to all of you who are praying for me and Lana; we've had a tough week on several fronts, but God has been there for us every step of the way, and right now I think we're tired but happy (OK, I admit it, I am kinda tired).

Peace out, dawgs; I love you, Lana.

Random thoughts

2007-10-26T00:08:00.000-05:00

Random thoughts before I retire (to bed):

Just got done reading a play by Chekhov for Theater class. I'm sure it was deeply moving. Awesomely beautiful. Splendiferously phantasmagoric. I'm glad it's over.

I hate not being able to spend very much time with my family, with my job and school and everything. I love Lana and I want to marry her and live with her more than anything, but the idea of leaving my family makes me want to cry.

I believe; help me with my unbelief.

"It is a curse having the epic temperament in an overcrowded age devoted to snappy bits!" - J. R. R. Tolkien

Romance is like a very special Christmas present from your Father, who gives the best gifts in the whole world. You've waited for it for so long, dreamed about it. Finally, one day, you see it wrapped and sitting under the tree. But you can't open it yet, not for a long time, and you know that shaking it could spoil the surprise that awaits. One day, after staring at it dreamily for a long time, you break down and open it in secret, just for a second, to see what it is. Then you close it up again. As December rolls onward, you do this over and over again. It's pretty fun, very exciting; you talk yourself into believing there was never anything wrong with opening it early. But when Christmas morning rolls around and you get to open and enjoy the whole thing, something curious happens, or rather, has happened. It's, well, not everything you'd hoped. It's exciting, sure, but it's nothing like what you'd dreamed. And you're left to wonder what it would have been like if you'd left the box alone until the appointed time.

Life is a complicated haze of preemptive indigestion.

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to just give it up and quit the stupid school thing.

You guys have no idea how awesome it is to get to lead a group of young people in worship once a week.

I have a watch. It's really nice. All the guys in my youth group envy it, although only Aaron is willing to admit it.

Some Christians say that even if we were wrong in what we believe and there was no God and death was the very end, we would still be on the right side because Christians live the happiest lives. I say, balderdash. The Apostle Paul said, if our belief in a resurrection is false, "we are to be pitied above all men." If Jesus did not rise from the dead, there is no hope, all is vanity, period.

"Oh God, bless us. Yea, even curse us. But please be not silent!"

The term "Jesus Freak" used to be a way of insulting Christians. Then a little band called dc Talk turned it around and made it cool. But do you claim it, and if so, do you live up to the title?

There ain't no disguising the truth...Truth can be suppressed, but it cannot be silenced. We get down on Pilate, but he asked the right question; he just didn't wait around for the answer. "What is Truth?"

What will you do for Christ? What will you NOT do for Him?

Two Months of Me and Lana, the Couple

2007-10-23T21:23:00.000-05:00

All righty, my sunshine princess wrote an absolutely lovely post on her blog, so if you haven't checked that out (musingsofaservantprincess.blogspot.com), go look at it first; I won't go anywhere in the meantime. The reason I say to read hers first, other than how wonderful it is, is because my post began as a comment for hers and then wouldn't stop growing.

Wow, two whole months since the courtship began, and four years and change since we met! To think you guys (Lana's family, that is) have added three future siblings-in-law for me since that first meeting. I had no idea, my dearest, that you had memorized our names in the directory; that's great! Maybe some unconscious premonition about the *different* family you would one day be a part of.

I think I gradually got to know Lana through the visits to her family's house (all of us kids swam together in their pool; that was fun) and through a Christian worldview Co-op class we took together. That was where I really became impressed with her passion for God, her obvious intelligence, and her love of reading. Some time thereabouts or afterward, my mom told me Lana wanted to start a Christian magazine for teens. Mom thought I might be interested. She's such a matchmaker! (Aw, just kidding; I know the thought had to have crossed her mind, but she wouldn't do that.) Anyways, we started trading e-mails about the mag, continued to see each other when our families were together, and gradually became really good friends.

Then college reared its beautiful head. Lana had originally planned on going to the U of A in Fayetteville (WOO PIG SOOIEE!!!) and majoring in agriculture. But ultimately she decided God was instead leading her to attend the majestic University of Arkansas-Fort Smith and major in Rhetoric and Writing. Guess who had already made his plans to do the same thing?
So yeah, taking classes together and seeing each other every day, on top of the friendship we already had, pretty much cinched that our friendship would grow a lot closer. Of course, I say that in hindsight.

But yeah, I had prayed about her for a really long time, probably since I was like fifteen. I was committed to not giving any part of my heart to her without knowing for sure that we were to marry, but I can't deny hoping that she was the one. I can't deny being basically convinced that she was the one.

I just needed that freedom born of certainty, and it came on Tuesday, February 27, when I fell in love with her and then realized that God had allowed me to, and that she truly was going to be my girl.

So I pined for six months, never hinting anything to her, waiting for the ripe moment; and then I talked to our parents, helped her dad put some candles on the pond, and declared myself on August 23.

Everything in our friendship before that night seems vague, somehow. I try to remember it and think about it, since it represents a beautiful time now that we have moved together into a more beautiful time. But I can't get inside my head, the way I thought and loved then; I think back to treasured memories and I view myself like a character in a play, detached.

And that's okay, because I wouldn't go back to the days of silence for anything. I love Lana and she loves me, and we both know it, and the world does, and that's the way it's supposed to be. And when I leave my father and mother and unite with her and we become one flesh, I know I won't want to go back to these days for anything. But I treasure them now.

So there it is, the first two months of courtship. But I will never, as long as I live, forget the first two hours. Gazing into each other's eyes across the candles, seeing something in the other that we had never seen before. Realizing, again and again, that this is it, our time as singles and just friends is over, and I really am going to enjoy the rest of my life with the most beautiful girl I've ever seen at my side. What I saw in her eyes as I told her I loved her for the first time, and what she saw in mine as she returned my love.

It was a sweet two hours, Lana, and it has been a sweet two months. I have drawn closer to you, opened up more of myself to you, fallen even more in love with you (and I didn't realize that was possible). But positionally, my relationship with you has not changed since that fateful day at the end of February, and it never will: I am truly yours.

"You have captured my heart, my sister, my bride. You have captured my heart with one glance of your eyes..." - Song of Solomon 4:9

We did film Saturday, and I am tired

2007-10-21T23:39:00.000-05:00

Exclusive screenshots from Saturday, just 'cause I can:

Saturday was a good day of filming. Didn't get everything we'd wanted to get, but I think we got about as much as we could reasonably expect. The morning stuff was nice, because in the three separate major scenes we filmed, I could give my actors the script and tell them to start working on it, and then go off and figure out locations and shot setup with my lovely favorite assistant director. Once we made our plan and got back, the actors would be ready to go, and we could go out and film it. Very nice...

We finally finished the climactic scene of the film, on our third day of shooting it (not that we took all day on it for any of those three days, of course). I'm pretty happy with it. Hopefully you will be too, when you see it, whatever it may contain.

Right now I'm plumb tuckered out, as we say in Arkansas; looking forward to catching about nine hours worth of sleep before embarking on the new week. Fortunately I have nothing due tomorrow and I actually got some work done for Tuesday tonight. So we'll see how I do. My bride-to-be is convinced that I'm already getting too stretched, after one week of working the new job. I certainly hope not.

I guess, since it's past midnight and that was my projected bedtime, I'll get off here and get in bed. I really do want to post something a bit more thoughtful and creative on this thing at some point. Right now, with school and work and church and sleep, it's hard to find the time. But I guess that's okay. As long as I don't get too stretched, right, darling? God will provide for me, I have no doubts there.

Want to thank you guys again just for your prayers and your support, because I know I've got both. I never had particularly wanted to blog for very long before I got this one, but I've really enjoyed writing on it and I've enjoyed reading as much as reasonably possible of you guys' blogs. None as much as my Sunshine Princess, though; sorry. I just really like the way she writes. Maybe since I like her writing so much (and she apparently likes mine; or at least, so I've heard), we should get married. D'ya think?

OK, yeah, I know, I'm officially awful, and I officially don't care. At least I'm fairly coherent, as opposed to my previous post. Anyways, happy sledding, don't let the bedbugs bite, and may the stars of Elbereth shine upon you! And Lana, I love you, my dearest!

Tired and crazy

2007-10-19T00:13:00.000-05:00

Wow, another day has already left us. Man.

The job is still going well, today not as smoothly as Tuesday. But yeah, it's different. I'm going to plan my time very efficiently if I want to get my assignments for school done. But it's good.

Today I didn't have class with Lana. It was wonderful. Wish we could do it every week. If you're wondering why I enjoy not having class with her so much, just consider that there's two different ways to interpret that phrase.

OK, I kept starting stupid sentences in the last paragraph and stopping them because I realized how stupid they were, so that means it's probably time to get off and hit the hay. After all, you never know what could be sneaking up behind you when you're on the level of a high-frosted iceberg...OK, I think I've reached critical mass here.

Tomorrow Friday, lots of good filming to do on Saturday, and hey, no work on the weekend! And I get to be with Lana almost all day on Saturday, Lord willing! Yay!!!

And then when the polar bear comes and starts marching toward his position in the left rank of the soldiery, the knights of the Round Table will emerge from their holes and come storming towards the

G'night, all.

My darling princess, and, my second day of work

2007-10-16T22:44:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone,

First off, please pray for Lana and myself. Last week I was the one with a dilemma to resolve; this week it's my sunshine princess. I'll let her tell you more about it if she chooses, but basically it's an opportunity for her that has some definite pros and cons that need to be weighed. I honestly don't have a clue about what to do right now; I'm glad we have wise parents who can give us godly advice, and I know that God will lead us to the right decision. But we really need your prayers.

I love her so much and I am so proud of her. She wondered tonight why I'm proud of her, when she's struggling with this issue. Oh, darling, do you want me to start trying to list all the ways you make me proud? I would have no clue where to begin; I could talk about the way you love and support me, the way you love and support your family, your hard work for school, your passion for Christ, your example to fellow believers (me, first and foremost, but also others), just the fact that you're drop-dead gorgeous and look good no matter what you're wearing or how much sleep you're riding . . . uh, yeah, I guess that's the beginning of a general list of sorts. But hopefully, at least for now, you get the point.

...

Second day of work is in the books, and it went more smoothly than the first one. Yesterday I had so much stuff to take in; today I've got most of it down (I think), so I can focus on actually doing the job. And it's not too bad, thus far. Parts of it I enjoyed, parts I didn't enjoy, but boy did it feel good to get to the end of my shift, log out of everything, and call my bride-to-be. Now I've got some homework to do, and then maybe I'll have a bit of free time before bed.

Free time is good; I can't survive without having at least a bit of it every now and then. Of course, I'm having to make do with considerably less than I'm used to, but it's cool; had to do it at some point, and this is as good a time as any.

Well ladies and gents, I'm gonna bounce, take a shower, do said homework, e-mail my princess, and maybe go to bed here in a little while. Shalom out, my Hebrew homies. I love you, Lana, and I'm proud of you, and don't you forget it.

The first day is over...

2007-10-16T00:03:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post; I know, I know, Lana, I need to go to bed rather badly, but I wanted to post real quick.

First day of the job, well, kinda overwhelming, lots of information to take in, but I got through it, and it'll only get easier from here, though maybe not instantly. It feels good to be working a full-time job that pays really well and (hopefully) takes me one step closer to being able to marry the girl of my dreams.

I missed Lana so badly today. We're used to me getting to sneak up on her on the second floor of the library and surprise her in the midst of her studious concentration. Today was the first day in my time as a college student that I've missed class, but the only thing that really mattered was missing Lana. Fortunately, by God's grace, I get to go to class tomorrow, which means that I get to be with her from 9:15 am to 2 pm. I am so unspeakably blessed to have her.

All right, I'll get off and go to bed now, but I wanted to thank you guys for your prayers, and thank you, Brannan, for referring me and encouraging me. Above all, thank you, my Lana Marie, for being my beautiful help-meet, and farther above still, thank You, my Lord and Father, for the unmerited favor You lavishly bestow on me. I am Yours.

Video reactions, and, a new job!

2007-10-11T16:49:00.000-05:00

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed the exclusive first-time-on-planet-Earth Hunted previews. I definitely enjoyed putting them together and letting you see them. It's really exciting to have something official, something anybody can see; it encourages me since the film is a long way from being finished. Anyways, thank you for all the nice comments; I really appreciate them.

As Meggy noted in the comment section, we've got a few more videos (unrelated to Hunted) over on YouTube. I hope to put many more on there. You can find our official channel at www.youtube.com/hobbbottomfilms. Right now, in addition to the two Hunted vids, we have posted the short "Silent Movie" starring Daniel and Trevor, as well as the "Woe-Be-Gone" commercial starring Trevor and the other Daniel from our youth group.

I think YouTube is way cool; it provides us with an awesome opportunity to let lots of people know about the film. Please, if you know anyone who you think would like the movie (based on what little you know about it, anyway), send them a link to the YouTube videos.

And now for the actual subject of this post. I have a job. A new job, at any rate. I'm still really not totally sure how it came about, but I know it's an opportunity that God has given me, so I'm really thankful for it.

Our friend and former homeschooler Brannan gave a comment on one of my posts from last week, telling me about a job opening in the company she works for. I applied for the job, did a writing test, and got accepted!

So what is this job, anyway? Well, it's for a group called On Point Advocacy. They are involved in political grassroots activism. Basically, my job as an "Advocacy Coordinator" (sounds spiffy, don't it?) is to be given a particular issue (like fuel economy standards or something boring like that, for example), call voters who have expressed interest in the issue, and ask them if they'd like me to write a letter to Congress on their behalf about the issue. Then I write the letter, assuming they want me to. It's a bit more complicated than that, but that's the gist of it.

I'm not totally excited about the phone aspect of it (I'll take writing over talking any day), but the pay is very good and it has a lot more hours than my previous job. And I get to set them as I want, within certain boundaries. So that's really nice.

I start next week, and I don't know whether I'll like it or not, but I'm excited because it's an opportunity that God "dropped in [my] lap", as my future father-in-law put it. Hopefully, it brings me another step closer to the day when I'll be ready to provide for myself and Lana financially. And that, as you may imagine, is really exciting. Thank You, Lord, for giving this to me!

So I ask you to please pray for me as I start this job, and continue to pray for me and Lana as we continue on the path God has laid out for us. I could not make it without her, by the way. Even though we're not married yet, she is fulfilling her calling as a help-meet to me, and I thank God so much for her. I can't even describe how much it means to have her with me, helping me, loving me, praying for me, telling me she's proud of me; you guys'll have to discover it when you find your future spouse. I love you so much, Lana.

And the first trailer...

2007-10-10T10:00:00.001-05:00

Oh baby, and you thought the first video was exciting. Check out the very first trailer for Hunted. Looks nearly epic, dudn't it? Let the film buzz begin!

Oh my goodness, what is this?!?

2007-10-10T09:59:00.001-05:00

Take a look at the first-ever footage to be released from Hunted, a full-length movie from Hobbbottom Films and Shadow of the Cross Productions.

WOOOOHOOOOOO! Snaps for Hunted!!!

Only 77 days till Christmas!!!

2007-10-09T17:44:00.000-05:00

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...

OK, maybe not quite. Matter of fact, it's still hitting the 90's outside. We're not exactly facing the imminent approach of winter.

Plus, I always make it a point to grouse annually about how stores break out the Christmas decorations before Halloween -- or in some cases before Easter, apparently. Can these people not WAIT??

But for some unknown reason, that's not my attitude this year. I simply cannot wait for Christmas. It's such an amazing season of the year, and I can't wait to experience it again! I'm ready for biting cold and "Silent Night" and nativity scenes and strings of lights.

I think I'd settle -- at the moment, anyway -- just for getting to sing "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel". That is one of my absolute favorite Christmas songs. The lyrics are haunting and the melody sounds Jewish. Maybe I'll do that on my way home tonight.

Gotta go, but whaddya say? You guys ready for Christmas? Tis (almost) the season!!!

Midterm week, and, discussions, and, Sunday night class

2007-10-08T17:34:00.000-05:00

It is the midterm week at dear old U of A Fort Smith. Doesn't seem possible. Before you know it, my Lana and I will be staring finals in the face, and then, ho ho ho, it's on to Christmas we go!

Yesterday I discovered a fact that many of my readers have known for a while (apparently): my darling sister Hannah has two blogs. One for spiritual musings and one for everyday happenings. A Smeagol and a Gollum, as it were (sorry Emy, you won't get it till you read LOTR, mwahahahaha).

Not that there's anything wrong with having two blogs. But there's no way I could ever keep up with it. It's hard enough to post on this one, thank you; plus, I would probably forget which blogs was which and wreak some form of havoc in that ignorance.

So I think I'll stick with Warrior. It's nice, it works, even if I only get to post three or four times a week.

Speaking of which, we've been having some lively discussion in the comment section of the previous post. My bride-to-be and I have been ganging up on our dear Emy on the issue of violence (don't worry; we haven't hurt her, at least not yet). Makes me wonder if perhaps we should start up a discussion forum, like on Ezboard or something like that. They're free and don't look pretty, but they are much more efficient and organized ways to discuss. Plus you can talk about whatever you want, whether or not it relates to a blog post. Of course, some of you seemingly do that already; while reading comments, I constantly see references to stuff I know nothing about -- apparently it relates to some other area of cyberspace that I have not penetrated.

Anyways, commenter people, let me know if you're interested in doing something like that; I could set one up pretty easily. Of course, you'd have to pick and stick with a single username; that could prove bothersome for some of you girls who have a multitude of names (yes, I'm talking to you, Nan/Sarah/Hannah/who knows what else; just kidding; it doesn't *really* bother me). But I think it would be cool, if you guys are up for it. Then again, it'd be one more spot on the Web that you visit regularly, so if you just want to limit yourself to blogs, that's okay too.

Nothing due tomorrow; hurrah! Please pray for me as I am currently applying for the job Brannan mentioned in previous comment sections; I don't know whether it will work or not, but the opportunity can't be a coincidence and so I'm looking at it.

Last night we finished going through Ephesians 5 in youth class. Well, I say finished; we actually didn't get to the end where it talks about husbands and wives and such; but I think we'll cut it off where we stopped. We'll probably do specific studies on marriage roles in the future; I think it's so crucial for young people to learn that while they're still single. I'm still struggling with the whole teaching thing a bit, so pray for me. For a while we basically had a formal lesson where I pretty much lectured the whole time. Lately we've been doing a discuss-through-passage type thing where I kind of lead and everybody has an opportunity to chime in. We've gotten some really good stuff out of that, but I'm not sure that some of our younger believers are getting a lot out of that. So we'll see. I really enjoy getting to do the class and lead in studying the Word; if any of you Branchers have any suggestions, let me know.

Time to lock up and go home; let me know you guys' thoughts on doing a messageboard. If you don't want to, cool with me; it's just a thought.

Oh, blessed weekend!

2007-10-04T17:37:00.000-05:00

Ahh...nothing due till Monday! It really is a wonderful life!

Man, I wish I had something to post about. I do have that other unfinished post that I'll pull out at some point, but I don't have time to get it done right now. Sitting here at work, waiting through the last few minutes, soon to leave and go minister alongside my bride-to-be at Riverwalk Apartments in Fort Smith.

Heading for a relaxing weekend. The rest of the guys in my family are going on our church's men's fishing trip, but I shall stay home, for I have a previous engagement (ha, pun intended, even though I'm not yet engaged) -- taking my darling Lana to shop for shoes tomorrow afternoon.

And, hopefully, I'll get to work on some dear-to-my-heart projects this weekend; life is such a tenuous balance between what you have to do and what you want to do; and for me, the "haves" possess the upper hand. What you hope is that sometimes the two coincide; for example, I have to spend all this time with Lana, in class and outside class, and oh yeah, maybe I want to as well, just a little bit. So that's wonderful.

But yeah, I'm looking forward to some rest and recup, spending some time with my lady, and working on some fun stuff. Speaking of Lana, please pray for her, all: she's going no-carb to try to kill the ills, and not ingesting any carbohydrates isn't particularly pleasant.

And I guess that's all I've got for now. Have a great weekend, give it to Him, and I'll catch ya on the flip side. And of course, I've got to take the opportunity to say, yet again: I love you, Lana.

Being a Subcreator

2007-10-02T17:19:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wonder what to say in my blog posts. It often feels as if I don't really have anything new -- God is awesome, I'm in love with Lana, school is school, Hunted is still going, church is good . . . ahem, uh, new stuff, please?

It's an issue for me as an artist, too, because as Solomon so aptly put it, "There is nothing new under the sun." I recently saw the first forty minutes of The Matrix in my theater class. The story of that wildly popular film has been touted as fresh, outside-the-box, mindblowing -- but its world-that's-not-real concept dates back to ancient Greek philosophy. Even J. R. R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, one of the most powerfully original and inventive masterpieces the English language has ever seen, uses a variety of plot points that date back for centuries.

But maybe what matters is not the originality of the content as much as how it's presented. George Lucas' Star Wars used archetypes as old as storytelling itself -- the young dreamer with high destiny (Luke Skywalker), the old man serving as mentor (Obi-Wan Kenobi), the damsel in distress (Princess Leia), the rogue adventurer (Han Solo), the ruthless villain (Darth Vader), etc. But it reframed those character types, often putting a new spin on them, in a story that came off as completely fresh and memorable.

So back to me: I seek to tell stories. Great stories, bold stories, revolutionary stories that impact the reader and point to Christ. But I've gotta be realistic. I know there's only so many ways I can portray my hero (or whatever character), and most of them have been done before, many times. But whether I use one of the old methods or try to spin up something new on my own, I'm seeking a unique portrayal, and one that's my own.

And to me, that's the key. Does the fact that my story may not be that original after all make me want to toss up my hands and just start stealing ideas? No, it really makes me want to work harder to achieve a high level of storytelling. My story won't have any revolutionary themes, but I can frame those themes in a way that no one has ever done before.

The very idea of doing that strikes a chord in me. I don't know if you writers out there feel it too, but it cuts to the heart of what I want to be as an artist. I want to tell fresh, exciting stories that bring a smile to my Creator's face and point people to Him. And I pray that the very first person who gets pointed to God through my stories will be their author.

Ultimately, the reason none of our stories will ever be really new is that God has already created all. He is the Master of all storytelling, and all of our tales are ultimately derived from his epic True Myth. What is the True Myth, you ask? Well, it's a phrase coined by Tolkien (when he was witnessing to an atheist friend named C. S. Lewis, incidentally) to describe the Gospel story of Christ. I would stretch it to include the entire story of God's redemption of man, which means that it's everything that's ever happened and ever will happen. It truly is your story and my story, in addition to being Adam's story, and Noah's story, and Peter's and Paul's and Martin Luther's and Mother Teresa's and Billy Graham's. We are all a vital part of His story.

So when we seek to tell our own made-up stories, the beautiful word that describes it is subcreation. I, the man, seek to tell my tales and craft my art, but it is ultimately derived from and subordinate to my Heavenly Father and the Story that He continues to unfold.

I love being a subcreator under You the ultimate Creator, Father. Praise You for the gift of story You have given to mankind. May we use it for Your glory.

The Future Fast Approacheth

2007-10-01T17:37:00.001-05:00

As much as I'm ready to get home and eat some supper, I kinda dread it because I have two papers to write for my writing classes: a personal essay and a memoir. I figure I can complete the personal essay to some degree of satisfaction today, but the memoir will be much less so. But, Lord willing, I'll have both of them ready for tomorrow, and it will be good.

Lana and I have been talking a lot lately about the future, namely, when we can get married. We're looking into some options for housing as well as work, and also trying to estimate what our monthly expenses will look like. I don't guess that sounds like much fun; it's actually a blast. I love talking to her about it.

The biggest concern for me is, and has always been, income. Namely, where exactly will it be coming in from? I feel called to be a writer (perhaps among other things), and writers aren't exactly known for having steady income. But right now I'm looking at this really cool book about freelance copywriting, which basically is working independently and having different companies hire you for jobs that require writing -- press releases, posters, instruction manuals, whatever. It sounds really good to me on a number of levels, the primary one being that I could work at home and be with my wife (and kids, eventually) a whole lot more. But, if I do it, it's going to be pretty hard to get established. Just trusting God that if He wants me to do that, He'll provide a way; and if not, He's got a better job out there for me.

In the meantime, I'm finding out how badly I want to marry Lana. As soon as workable. We'll likely wed either in summer '08 or summer '09. And in case it's not obvious to you, there's a big difference between those two time periods. But, if we need to wait an extra year to get married, I'm willing to do that. I can't deny hoping we don't have to do that, though.

It feels pretty weird to be looking at all these options and wondering about insurance and groceries and figuring out a way to make enough money to put bread on the table. But it's also exhilarating, because I know that answering these questions brings us closer and closer to the time for setting a date, buying a ring, and planning a wedding. You guys simply have no idea how much I long for that, though you will someday.

Today Lana and I checked out Sebastian Commons, the apartments at our own UAFS. We like the idea of living there, if only for the two years before graduation, simply because the housing and utilities would be free under scholarship. We got to tour an apartment, and it was so amazing to think, "Man, in less than a year, we could be living in something like this." It was a lot of fun.

So I ask you to please continue to pray for us. We need the wisdom and guidance that only God can give as we try to sort out all the wonderful issues that come with the decision to marry. We want to make sure that we know the difference between what we want and feel and what God wants. I can't wait to see what happens as He continues to unravel this beautiful tapestry of our life together.

Till tomorrow, all; and, I love you, Lana.

While you're waiting...

2007-09-27T17:43:00.000-05:00

Well, here I go again. I started a post with some big ideas, and found myself unable to finish it to my satisfaction before I leave work. That makes two now; maybe, just maybe, I'll get them done and posted next week. I hope.

The thought currently occupying my mind: Bloom where you're planted. A crass, cliched way to put a biblical truth, the truth that God wants you to follow Him and to take joy, no matter what your situation.

Today a friend of mine told Lana and me to enjoy our courtship time, because "that's the best time of your life." He said that when you get married, everything is so much harder. I'm sure that's true, but I honestly don't care, because I love Lana and if there's anything I want to do with the life God has given me, it's marrying her.

So yeah, I kinda begged to differ with his implication that being married is somehow not as good as the time beforehand (to represent him fairly, he did say that marriage is awesome, just that it's so much harder). But it got me thinking about the entire issue of being in different situations. I do need to enjoy this time of courtship with Lana; it won't last forever.

My time as a single is already complete, gone, finis. And now that it's over, I wouldn't want to get it back for anything, but that's certainly a sobering thought. Makes me want to encourage you readers out there to use your time as a single for God, as Paul admonishes us in 1 Corinthians. To me, one of the worst things about dating (and there are many bad things about it) is that it takes away that blessed time of singleness from young men and women. When you're dating, you're not married, but you still have a lot of time monopolized by another person; it's essentially the worst of both worlds. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, read 1 Corinthians 7:32-35.

So I want to enjoy this time that God has given me to court my beloved Lana; one day this time will be over and our time of marriage will begin. If you're single and just champing at the bit to find that special someone, I encourage you to wait patiently. God will fulfill that dream in His own time; in the meantime, He has great things for you as a single. Don't get so caught up in the longing to find a mate that you miss out on what He's doing in your life right now. And just don't wait on your mate; while you're waiting, let God use you in mighty ways, ways that won't be possible when you're married.

As I look back on my time as a single, I know I was not perfect, in purity or in any other area. Yet I think that, for the most part, because I committed not to date or to give any part of myself to a girl, God was able to use me in ways that simply would not have been possible otherwise. It scares me to think of how many Christian young people limit God's work in their lives by pursuing romance before His time. Don't make that mistake; use your time as a single for His glory.

Catching Up, and, The Elusive Book

2007-09-25T17:40:00.000-05:00

Another week rolling by. The schoolwork looks like it will get really crazy before the semester's over. Can it really be possible that we're actually coming up on midterm? Time flies when you're in love...

I'm beginning to get a little bit frustrated in the writing classes (Advanced Comp and Nonfiction Writing), simply because I don't have the time that I would prefer to spend on the various papers and assignments in those classes. There are a lot of projects going in both, and while I'm not visibly behind yet, I feel like I'm accumulating a wealth of academic debt that I'll have to pay at some point this semester.

But, just have to take things as they come and use spare time to catch up. It's not like life is going to slow down any time soon. And that's okay, because when I have a lot of free time and nothing that really needs doing, I become pretty unproductive, pretty quickly. Busyness isn't always fun, but it just feels right when you're caught up in the midst of it.

The excitement of "the current project" is likely here to stay in one form or another, as well. What I mean by that is that when Hunted finally comes to a close, I'm going to start feeling this massive void due to not having something major like that pressing down on me. So I'm sure I'll start some project or other after that, whether it be a (short) film or a play, or even a book.

It would be so wonderful to get a book written; Lana and I long ago (back in the "just friends" stage, that is) each set the goal of finishing a book before graduation. Of course, I know it's ludicrous to think about starting one right now, with school blazing and Hunted calling; and it may still be ludicrous even after Hunted is in the can (I mean that in the sense of "finished", not in the sense of "kaput"). But it's a dream nonetheless, and at some point you have to start working to make the dream become reality.

What kind of book? Well, a novel, naturally. Fictional storytelling has been my passion for as long as I can remember. I appreciate my Nonfiction Writing course and its emphasis on telling a good story that's true, but I'm frankly more interested in telling fictional stories that are "truthful". Whether that story takes the form of a book, a play, or a movie.

So yeah, we'll see. If I start writing a book, of course I'll let you know -- in time, once I have something substantial, at any rate. I know I'm not ready to write one yet, but as the love of my life pointed out, maybe I need to begin the work before I can truly be ready. Time will tell, and God will reveal.

So what are your dreams, my readers? I actually have a post about the subject of our dreams, waiting to be finished, that will precipitate further discussion. But what are the passions that God has planted in you? I know some of you out there are writers; what else have we got?

We really did film this weekend!

2007-09-24T17:00:00.000-05:00

Hey, what do you know! We actually filmed on Saturday! Can ya believe it?

No trains were harmed in the making of this film. And no one was harmed by trains in the making of this film. Just thought I'd clarify that for ya, Emy.

So yeah, crazy filming day, long but good. At some point, when I get a bit of spare time and remember, I'll get some screenshots up on the blog. And, who knows, maybe some moving images. The plot thickens...

I guess you guys have figured out by now that I abandoned the whole idea of these cool indepth "Production Updates" (I gave two of them like, way back when this blog started). I wish I could give you guys a really close look at what we're doing in production, but I simply don't have time to do that. Hey, Lana doesn't have a job (and therefore must not be at all busy at any time, right?); ask her. *mischievous smile* I love you, darling!

So we continue to claw our way toward the end of this baby. How much do we have left? Very little and quite a lot. But we'll get there.

I'm really not sure how long the post-production process will take, though. Editing isn't that hard of a job, but it takes a lot of time just because of how many stinkin' scenes there are. Then we have to rerecord dialogue and stick that in there; I have no idea how hard that will be because I've never done anything remotely like it. There's also the all-important score, which I think will be fantastic, but which will require a lot of planning, recording, rerecording, mixing, matching with the film, etc. Once we have all those components, we'll be ready for the final sound edit; I want to make sure we don't sell that short. We'll probably end up recording a lot of small sound effects for various parts just to make sure we get as full a sound as possible.

After that, we'll be ready to plan a premiere and get stuff ready for the DVD release. That's gonna be such a blast. The payoff of seeing this thing finished is going to be amazing stacey.

If no one involved had jobs or school to occupy their time, we could probably finish filming this week, take a couple weeks to edit, then maybe three or four more to get the final sound edit. Sadly, that's not the case.

But we will finish this movie, if the Lord permits. All of our rabid fans will merely have to be patient for a while longer.

Anyways, Lana has already posted about Saturday, so you have that. I won't add much more except to say that when I get to spend that much time with her in a day, I have to call it a good day. I had so much fun filming with her, acting alongside her, being extremely sappy during the brief breaks (as she can testify), driving her around, and watching the Razorbacks with her (even though they lost).

And, as she and I also said over on her blog, yesterday was our one-month anniversary of being "a couple". Talk about unbelievable. Let me tell you singles again, one more time, even though I'm sure it won't be the last: Do things God's way. His plan is incredibly more fun and more romantic than anything this world can concoct.

I am so blessed to have this wonderful woman whom I love and who loves me. If you'd told me three months ago that we would be so madly in love and in the midst of intoxicating romance right now, I would not have dared to believe you. God doesn't just meet our wildest dreams; He surpasses them. I love you, Lana.

Kudos to my movie people!

2007-09-20T16:45:00.000-05:00

Currently trying to get a Saturday filming schedule together. Yes, believe it or not, we really are still working on this movie. I'm proud of my people and the job they've done thus far, and I think we're all gonna be pleased with the outcome, if for no other reason than that there is an outcome.

Thoughts on those who have been an integral part:
Lana - Yeah, did you really think I was gonna mention somebody else first? Not an exaggeration to say that without her, there would be no movie; and most of her contributions came before our courtship began. She was one of my chief sounding boards for ideas in pre-production, did way more script-critiquing than anyone else, and tossed out a bunch of ideas herself. She knew that she'd be playing Leslie, one of the biggest roles in the film, but had no idea that her job description would also include makeup artist, co-director of photography, co-production designer, and assistant director. She has truly been a shieldmaiden on this project, doing all of her jobs spectacularly, helping to give things some semblance of organization, and constantly encouraging and being there for me. I love you, darling, and I cannot thank God enough for the job you have done on this film.

Daniel - My little brother (he's still my little brother for the time being since I have a couple inches on him, though that could change in the next few years) was the first to share the Hunted dream, way back in summer 2005. His slavemaster boss has prevented him from being on location as much as he's wanted to, but he's done a good job as 1st assistant director when available. He also spearheads the film's comic relief by playing wacky woodsman Shawn. Incidentally, guess who can only do filming for half the day on Saturday because he has to go mow lawns? ;-)

Hannah - If anyone has cause to complain about their part in the project, it's probably my sister. That's because she never thought she was even going to have a part in it, and I never counted on us needing her. But she's been a crucial part, doing a lot of our camera and boom operating. Sometimes she gets frustrated by having to run the camera with four crazy losers and Lana in front of it; but she has done a yeoman's job and deserves a gold medal for her patient, steady effort. Snaps for you, sis!

Trevor - It simply wouldn't be right to make a movie like this without the T-Rev Meister's involvement. He and Daniel and I have filmed a lot of really bad video together; hopefully Hunted doesn't quite fall under that classification. Trevor has always been a great actor with a natural instinct as a filmmaker. His main official contribution to Hunted is the part of Ryan, who's a bit more straight-laced than most of T-Rev's previous characters (like Fred in the play It Happened At Ernie's). But he's also helped in a number of small ways behind the camera. Finally, he has the irritating ability to memorize his lines with little effort, while the rest of us are still squinting at the pages and going over a scene for the umpteenth time.

Dusty - Our fearless youth group leader brings his skills to the big screen as Clyde, the villainous elder brother of Eric and leader of the Adams County Gang. Dusty's done an outstanding job thus far in his acting and has been able to help a bit behind the scenes, though not as much as he'd like. By the way, what was I thinking when I cast him and Chris in parts that have them interacting with each other on screen a lot?

Chris - See previous entry. Chris has struck exactly the chord I was looking for in his part as Carl, Clyde's sidekick. Both of these guys have had limited time in filming but have hit home runs in their acting roles thus far. They've also been very supportive and patient with me as I continually make filming plans and then change them. Thanks a ton, dogs.

Tara - You can count her the second member of the "Younger Sisters of Key Players Who Never Thought They'd Be So Crucial To This Movie" club. And yes, I know that phrase is technically unclear, but you know what I'm talking about. Anyways, Tara has found herself following Hannah around a lot as an operator of our boom (the microphone carrier, basically). Both of them have been troopers, although Tara seems to have found a niche for going to sleep in the midst of late filming nights; she's done it both times we had to stay out late. Sheesh, who sleeps at 2 in the morning, anyway?

Tony - Maybe we should change the name to the "Younger SIBLINGS of Key Players Who Never Thought They'd Etc." club. As the younger brother of our sunshine princess, Ton' never thought he'd get plunged into one of the key acting roles in the movie, that of the other wacky woodsman, Travis. But of course, a story's not a good story unless it involves some character or other getting plunged into something unexpected. So there we go. At any rate, Tony has come on at the eleventh hour and acquitted himself extremely well in front of the camera. I particularly like his petrified intensity during the scary story scene.

James - Being called on to play a henchman who serves under the likes of Clyde and Carl is no small thing. James has amply handled his role thus far and even brought a nice unexpected spin to some of his scenes. Of course, out of all our cast, he has the biggest problem finishing a scene (a scene, say I? Nay, rather a line) without bursting into voluminous laughter. But we still love him anyway.

Josh - An imposing demeanor and experience as a bad guy in the Easter program (playing a Roman soldier there; Dusty and James have also done this many times in the past) make Josh an ideal choice for the tough-guy role of Dirk, another henchman. He's only had one filming day so far, but Lord willing that will change on Saturday. Daniel is on record multiple times as saying that he's not looking forward to shooting at Josh with a paintball gun (oh wait, did I just give away a plot spoiler?).

So, is that the team? Well, most of the prominent ones, anyway. But of course, we could not do it without our location providers: Tim and Susie (my parents), Tyler and Tracy (Lana's; even though we haven't actually filmed anything at their house, our film crew has received their hospitality), Clinton and Lichea (Trevor's parents), Dusty and Amanda, Wayne and Georgia, Jordan, and of course my dear Gramma and Papa.

And the list is still not complete; hopefully the credits will be. As we (Lord willing) wind down to the end, at last, of the production process, I want to thank all those who have helped us on this film. And thanks as well to people like Meggy and Emy and many others who have encouraged us and prayed for us. You guys rock my face off.

Most of all, thanks to the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows, and from whom come all good things. We love You and pray that this movie glorifies Your Name, our God!

And that's all for this week, folks. Don't anticipate another post from this quarter till Monday. As always, please pray for our Saturday filming plans, that God's will is done. Namarie!

Another short one

2007-09-18T17:54:00.000-05:00

Not time to chat again, I'm afraid. Sad how that works. I am, however, working on another post that has me pretty excited, but that one must await completion.

Today another good day. Lana and I once again experienced God's lavishing of love on us, and grew closer together. I don't know how God does it, but I praise Him for it.

School just may be getting extremely crazy; I'm not sure. At any rate, I've got a variety of things to work on for different classes, and hopefully I'll be able to get a lion's share knocked out this evening. School rocks my face off -- though I don't particularly enjoy it. Any of you guys identify with that paradox?

For now, well, thank God for life, love, and the pursuit of happiness that can only be found in Him. You are worthy, my Lord and God, of everything I have. Praise You. To my beloved Lana, thank you for talking to me today and letting God use you; I love you and could not stop thanking Him for you even if I wanted to. You truly are my sunshine.

Put your hope in God

2007-09-17T17:05:00.000-05:00

What an awesome God we serve. Great is His Name, and greatly to be praised. Not to us, oh Lord, not to us, but to Your Name be the glory.

I don't want to tell you guys too much because you don't need to know. But suffice it to say that Lana and I were going through a really tough time last night and this morning, and God brought us through it in an amazing way.

She skipped lunch today to spend time in the Word and in prayer, and invited me to join her. Of course I wanted to be there for her sake, but I didn't anticipate the work God was going to do in me.

Having gotten out of class before me, she had already been spending time with God for a while when I got there. I sat down beside her, feeling as miserable as I had -- well, as I had for a while already that day.

After a while, Lana started humming -- bless her wonderful propensity for humming and singing; I couldn't have married a girl who wasn't like that! -- and the song was "As the Deer", based of course on Psalm 42, which I have previously referenced on this blog. The Psalm was already on my mind from yesterday, when I read from it during our morning worship at church. But as I began to read it now -- along with Psalm 43, the two Psalms having originally been together as one -- I don't know. It's difficult to explain. I have identified with so many of the Psalms at various times, but I've never had the feeling that I could have written one of them word for word, that the connection between it and me would be that strong.

Well, this morning I felt like I could have written Psalms 42 and 43. I won't post them here, though I encourage you to look them up yourself. But the key verse, which is repeated twice, is 42:5: "Why are you downcast, my soul? Why so troubled within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." I have identified with those words so many times, but have never felt them burning in my core as they now did. The Psalmist knew the answer to the questions he was asking in this passage, and so did I. "Put your hope in God..."

I did exactly that, and began to feel the burden lifting off my shoulders. In its place, a nearly manic joy. I had gone from being depressed to being happy in a matter of moments, all because of the amazing Word of God.

I joked to Lana later that I had learned two things today (neither of them in class, incidentally, but that's a part of the joke that only she would fully get): God is awesome and the Bible is true. Seems elementary, basic, milk-type stuff, doesn't it? But we can't truly comprehend how correct those two statements are. This very day, many people doubtless considered them, assented, and yawned; I found a new sense of awe and a new depth in my relationship with my heavenly Father. And for that I thank Him.

That's not the whole story, of course; the experience also inspired a series of thoughts about the divine art of life that will probably make it to a CtB article in the future. And I'll leave it to Lana to tell you, if she desires, what God did for her. But for now, I want to tell you, again: God is awesome and the Bible is true. Two little facts; eight words; the capacity to forever alter your life.

So, discussion time: the Psalms. Do you read them a lot? Do you closely identify with any (or all) of them? Which ones are your favorites and why? Have you tried praying them? Are there any that you find hard to understand or hard to reconcile with faith in God? Let us discuss.

Alas, so little time

2007-09-13T18:06:00.000-05:00

"Sir? . . . We're in a terrible rush." - Inigo, Princess Bride

Well, I do wish I had time to write out a proper post for my loyal and wonderful readers, but unfortunately I don't. I'm already ten minutes late getting off work, thanks to a last-minute phone sale.

God is just straight-up awesome, in case you weren't aware of that fact. Any particular reason for me saying that? No, not really, other than the incredible bride-to-be He has given me and, well, just the joy of eternal life.

Heading into the weekend. May not be able to film on Saturday, AGAIN. I'm still trusting God on it, but boy, I don't know how He's gonna pull it off. I guess it'll make it that much cooler when He does.

Anyways, I'll catch ya'll on the flip side; have a great weekend; worship God alone; I love you, Lana. Namarie.

Staying Off the Escalator (till then)

2007-09-11T15:52:00.000-05:00

DISCLAIMER: My bride-to-be, under the suggestion of my future mother-in-law, said that maybe I should make some statement about my always writing and publishing my posts from work; some might misunderstand and think that I am clandestinely breaking the rules. I certainly don't want you to think that, so let me clarify by telling you that my job is patently of the desk nature. As an authorized agent (basically a sales/customer service representative), I get to sit at a desk in a comfortable chair in an air-conditioned room, with high-speed Internet. When I don't have customers, as has especially often been the case lately, I usually have free reign and am thus able to do fun stuff like post on my blog.

OK, now I can really begin the post.

It's a strange experience, being in love. I didn't expect my feelings for Lana to intensify at the rate they have in the nineteen days since I declared myself to her; they have. I expected us, of course, to grow closer together, but not like we have. She was already my best friend and had been for a long time; we had already achieved a high level of platonic intimacy. But now we truly are growing as close to one another as two humans can, though not of course on a physical level.

And the physical restraint has a beauty that the world simply cannot match. There's something special about waiting to share that first kiss until your wedding day. More than that, we have decided not even to hold hands -- for now, and maybe all the way up to the wedding.

The world would look at that and declare its ludicrosity. "How can you say you truly love each other and yet not kiss or even hold hands?" I think even the vast majority of Christians would say that we're going too far.

But we are not practicing restraint for restraint's sake. We do not believe kissing and holding hands are wrong; they are, on the contrary, part of a glorious landscape for displaying romantic affection, designed by God our Father. We fully believe that He means for us to enjoy those actions freely -- one day.

But we aren't married yet; we have not yet become one flesh. And so we have chosen to avoid hand-holding for the simple reason that it is dangerous. Why is it so? Because God never designed man and woman to stop at hand-holding in the ladder of physical intimacy. A ladder, in fact, is a misleading analogy, because with a ladder you can get on and off at your leisure. It's more like an escalator; when you get on it, it's designed to take you to the next floor. You can still get off with some effort, but the further you go, the harder it becomes to stop it from taking you upwards.

Hope that illustration makes sense to you. Because of the danger, Lana and I have chosen not to step onto the escalator. Is it hard to maintain that, being as in love with one another as we are? Absolutely. But I think it's so much easier than it would be if we decided to jump on and just try to stay on a low level.

So, again, we don't think that physical intimacy is wrong; it's a blessing from God. And we love Him and one another enough to wait to hop on that escalator until we're allowed to go all the way to the top. I know, because I know God and because of what He has done thus far in this relationship, that it will be far more than worth the wait.

Sunday and CtB

2007-09-10T16:38:00.001-05:00

Thanks to those who prayed for filming on Saturday and for my sermon last night. The filming ended up falling through yet again, but the message went pretty well and I could definitely feel the prayers.

I absolutely loved having my bride-to-be there with me, from 5:00 till time to go home. It was great to have her in class and to sit by her in the service. We actually got to sing side-by-side for the first time (usually I'm up on the stage). She encourages me and lifts me up so much. So do my fellow youth leaders Chris and Dusty, who left their seats and came and prayed for me during the worship. I love those guys and appreciate them so much. I know that I don't have a clue how good I have it in my youth group. Or how good I have it with the love of my life, for that matter.

The message was, well, really hard. At no point did I feel that I was communicating particularly well, but that's okay since what matters most is that I'm submitted to God. There were plenty of things I wish I could have said better, elaborated on, made clearer; but ultimately I believe I obeyed God's call and delivered the message He gave me. If I do that, then I have succeeded even if there is no response. And there was some response (visible, that is), so I consider myself very blessed.

Call me immodest, call me vain, but I'm really looking forward to hearing from those of you who have received the latest CtB and read the "Warrior of the Dawn" short story. I hope you all like it; I think it's one of the better pieces I've written, though that's not saying much. I would like to make clear that it's not an autobiographical story; I do identify with the protagonist, but not in a way any of you would likely understand. I had already written the story when I started this blog, and this name was the only good one I could think of, so, there.

And I fully realize that some of you have NOT received our newest issue, so all I can say for you is be patient; it's coming. Hope you like pictures of me and Lana; I think it has five. Unfortunately, they're in black and white and don't show up particularly well, so maybe we can get them all posted online (I know Lana's already posted the best one on her blog).

Also, please pray for our beloved Meggy and her family, who are completing their move to Colorado as of today. I can't imagine what it would be like to move that far away from everything I've ever know, and I know it has to be very tough for them; so lift them up before the Father.

Elen sila lumenn omentialvo. There, Emy, I did it.

What God's been showing me (a little bit of it, anyway)

2007-09-06T17:11:00.000-05:00

Boy am I glad it's Thursday afternoon. Not that the week is over, but the more undesirable aspects of it are. Now the focus shifts to printing CtB tomorrow, prepping for the major woods shoot on Saturday, and, well, doing the major woods shoot on Saturday.

As you know if you read Lana's blog, we went yesterday and picked out a beautiful white gold bracelet. We went to JCPenny's first, followed by the mall jewelry stores, Sears, Dillard's, K-Mart, and Kohl's; then went back to Penny's and got practically the first one we had looked at. Oh well, neither of us minded how long it took, if you can imagine that. It was so much fun to take my girl around the mall and Fort Smith while shopping for jewelry for her. She had a ton of fun too.

Now she has something she can wear and show to people when she tells them about me; that's the main reason I got it for her. I have a watch from my future father-in-law that I can show people; now she has a bracelet from her future husband to show off. It's only fair, as I see it. Of course, I guess the fact that I just love buying things for her counts in there somewhere as well.

Thank you again to those who responded to the FtF query in the previous post. As for me, well, I don't know. On the one hand, it feels like FtF was very significant and formative for me; on the other, I feel quite nearly the same as I did going into it.

Of course, I know that (1) it's not about me and it ultimately doesn't matter how it affected me as long as the Lord's Name was lifted up; and (2) if I was there and doing what God called me to do, then it did affect me, maybe in ways that I can't even comprehend.

I don't feel radically different, as if the heavens have opened up and sprawling new avenues of truth have been revealed to me. But on the other hand, the opening heavens and sprawling avenues probably do fit the last several months for me; God has shown me so much and drawn me closer to Him. Hope you don't think that means I've unlocked perfection; on the contrary, I've been reminded of my imperfection and my utter dependence on my Savior. And I still continue to rebel against my God in ways that shame me.

Thanks to two particular works of John Piper (who is by the way a must-read theologian; seek him out and read his stuff), Desiring God and The Pleasures of God, I have been impressed (not in the sense of admiration, but in that of having something pounded into you) by the amazingly simple equation of life: Love for God = Happiness. Or, to put it more properly as Piper does, revising the old Westminister Catechism, "The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever."

What a delightful phrase, "enjoying Him forever". Do we often hear about our need to enjoy God? Sure, we hear quite often about believing in Him, knowing Him, surrendering to Him, even loving Him. But, to enjoy God? I think the Church falls short in expressing that fundamental need that rests in all of us. Our passionate love for God, our enjoyment of Him, is meant to be our fuel, our lifeblood, our thirst that is always satisfied and never quenched.

This is what David meant when he cried out, "Oh God, You are my God. Earnestly I seek You, my soul thirsts for You in a dry and weary land where there is no water." Or as an anonymous Psalmist exclaims, "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for You, oh God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I come and see the face of God? My tears have been my food day and night, while all day long men continually say to me, 'Where is your God?'"

Feel free to check my quotes as I don't have my Bible right here with me at the moment; those are from the opening verses of Psalms 63 and 42. But when was the last time you felt that passion for God? That longing, that thirst, that desperation? When was the last time your heart cried out as godless people around you mocked the Name of your God?

And how do we get this hunger? That's the more pressing question. If you're like me, you can at best claim to have this passion only at times during your life; and often you wonder where it has gone. I have no answers, other than the ones you hear all the time: Read your Bible, pray, go to church. Whether or not you believe it, those really do help, if you seek God in doing them.

Ask God to give you a heart that longs for Him, and then don't stop there. Get into His Word; seek His face; shut all else out and focus on Him. As you attend church, enter with a mindset of willing obedience. If you do those things, you are already on the right path.

But don't ever stop seeking Him; that is, after all, what you're already doing at this point. Note the biblical promise: "You will seek Me and find Me," God tells us, "if you seek Me with all your heart." There are a lot of promises in the Word, but that is one of the most heartening to me.

Anyways, I don't even know if any of you guys even have any struggles with this, but I do. Lana can tell you that I often write out stuff in e-mails to her that she already understands, just so that I get it more clearly. Not a bad habit, I guess, especially for a writer.

But yeah, that's something God's been revealing to me and bopping me on the head about a lot over the past few months, so I thought I'd share that. I'll try to get more into what He's revealing to me, in future posts. For now, sayonara and please pray for our filming on Saturday.

Unlabor Day is over

2007-09-04T17:02:00.000-05:00

Life rolls onward. Back to school today after Labor Day weekend. I got to be with Lana, but otherwise it was fairly blah. My writing instructor, David Cooper, possesses an almost maddening personality. He is consistently pleasant with a soft, ready smile, but he never crosses the line into what I would call actually "being nice." He seems to think that our reason for being on earth is to be with family and to travel, so he encourages us to share about our experiences in those areas; but although he's encouraging, he never seems to be truly interested in us. I think he's a pretty good teacher, but his blandness gets to me every now and then.

Sitting here at work now; will shortly go and proofread CtB with my lovely co-editor. I think it's, well, another good issue; there's quite a bit about romance, but I don't think you can blame us for that. I am excited about finally being able to unleash the "Warrior of the Dawn" short story on the world.

Just as a heads-up to all of you: It may interest you (it will doubtless interest those from FBC Branch who read the blog) to know that I am scheduled to preach at my church Sunday night. It's been a long time since I've had the opportunity. Please pray for me as I prepare this week, because I already seem to be running short of time; and pray for the message. Right now God seems to be pointing me toward a hard-hitting turn-and-repent sermon, centered around the book of Malachi and other passages (go check out Malachi if you're unfamiliar with it; it's definitely hard-hitting). But He could very well change it in the course of this week; it's happened before, so pray that I will seek His will and be obedient to whatever He calls me to preach.

Set to film again on Saturday for the first time in three weeks. It'll be our most intensive shooting day yet, Lord willing, all taking place up at my grandparents' and involving all of our major actors. Please pray for that as well, that everyone's schedules will work out, that we'll work quickly and efficiently, and that we'll do a good job and glorify God.

And, well, that's it for now; I have some other stuff to work on. But finally, I would like you readers to respond in the comment section about something I'm curious to know: What did God do in your life through Fan the Flame? What is He (hopefully) still doing? I'm really interested to see what kind of impact (if any) it made on your life, however small, so please let me know. Thank you readers, just, well, for being readers, and for commenting! God bless.

What's Goin' Down

2007-08-30T17:36:00.000-05:00

A bit of here and there.

First, my bride-to-be and I will be formatting the September-October issue of Call to Battle tomorrow (Friday). If you have any articles (or certainly blog posts would be cool), you can send them in (or point us in the direction of the blog post if it is that) before noon on Friday. We love receiving and printing contributions from you, so please don't hesitate to send stuff in! If you don't, it's entirely possible you'll simply read more romantic gush from me and Lana! (OK, so with a mostly-female readership, maybe that wasn't the most effective threat to make.)

I want to warn you now about my articles for this issue: Most will seem familiar to you because they are in fact modified blog posts. Hey, it's not my fault you read the blog and get the magazine. Think of it this way: The blog provides you with a partial sneak preview of the next CtB issue.

Oh, and let me just tease you by saying that in this issue, you'll finally get to discover why my screenname is "Warrior of the Dawn." I'm excited about you getting to read this particular work of mine, leftover from the last issue.

I believe the word is getting around my church that Lana and I are engaged. (EDIT: The correct term is courting, not engagement; though we are committed to marrying, we are not officially engaged.) Josh -- a friend, one of my actors in Hunted, a classmate at UAFS, and fellow member of FBC Branch -- asked us today if we'd set our wedding date. Well, no; we will when I get her the ring, and it'll probably be some time before that happens. But I'd much rather people think we're engaged than dating, if there's a choice. I'll try to provide some clarification to my church at some point.

For those of you who have asked about Hunted, well, rest assured we haven't pulled the plug on the project. We have taken a hiatus from filming due to Fan the Flame, and will be idle this weekend in order to give some of our production members a break. We plan on picking it up again next Saturday and hitting it hard, with only about three or four more days of filming to go (Lord willing)! Thank you again to all of you who have voiced encouragement, and we ask that you continue to pray for the movie.

The latest update from Lovers' Lane: Note-giving is all the rage. Note-giving, you ask? Yep. During class, as opposed to taking notes, we often find ourselves giving notes -- to one another. We had a delightful time doing it in Reasoning yesterday, and in both of our writing classes today. But I told Lana that, alas, we'll have to cut down on it or we'll lose our scholarships due to poor grades.

College football begins tonight as LSU takes on Mississippi State on ESPN. I can't wait (and am trying to get CtB articles together so I can watch some of it). Most of my readers may not care about this staple of Southern life, football, but I am eagerly anticipating the coming season and have high hopes for the beloved Arkansas Razorbacks. The Hogs open against Troy on Saturday. Woo Pig Sooiee!

I ask for your prayers for our youth group. I know God has some awesome things for us coming out of FtF, but the devil is attacking us right now. We had kind of a tough service last night. It ended up being good, but there was definitely a feeling of tension in the air. I expect it from Satan; he's trying to steal what God has given us and continues to give us. But as the ending of one of our FtF skits quoted, "One little word shall fell him." Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!

And the fire of the Lord fell

2007-08-28T15:32:00.000-05:00

Saturday, August 25. The day we had awaited since, well, probably Saturday, August 26 of last year. Fan the Flame 2007 had finally arrived.

The morning was a crazy bustle of furious activity as we tried to finish up what absolutely had to be done. I was up at the church at nine. I always like to be really early for stuff like FtF and the Easter program, but in this case it was more a necessity than a convenience.

12:45 pm. Fifteen minutes to showtime. Apart from our youth, only about twenty people had showed up. Yikes. Where IS everybody? Did they not hear about 12:30 registration? (One youth leader had called the church earlier and announced that her group was ready to be there at 2; I made her aware of the fact that we started at 1 and needed them to be there at 12:30).

And then people started showing up. Our registration line stretched out in the overhang. And it stayed out there for the next thirty minutes as we continued to have more trickle in.

Needless to say, we did not start at 1:00 as planned. It seemed counterproductive to begin the event knowing that a bunch of people were still waiting to get in the church. It was about 1:25 before we finally kicked off.

After a "trailer"-like video intro, emcees Daniel and Trevor jumped up on stage to welcome everyone to the event. After some door prizes, a skit, and a two-minute warning with Caleb Melton, it was time for worship, led by Singled Out.

It had been a stressful morning, or at least potentially so. But I was pumped about leading some worship. We started out with the brand-new "Let God Arise", followed by "Praise Your Name" and "Not to Us" with no pauses in between. The crowd was the best that I've ever led worship with, I believe; they stood and started clapping in rhythm without us telling them to, and sang along loudly when they knew the words.

We toned everything down quickly with the new "Awesome is the Lord Most High" (with my brother Daniel making his debut singing harmony), then went worshipfully soft with the classics "How Great Is Our God" and "Heart of Worship". The Spirit was moving, and it thrilled me to hear the voices in the crowd and see upraised hands. Done for now, and it was time to hand off to Christopher Russell, our first speaker.

Chris immediately started in with a hard-hitting, in-your-face Gospel message centered around the Cross. He preached from Isaiah 52-53 and other passages, and actually hammered together a cross on stage and adorned it with nails and paint to represent blood. He talked about Christ's sacrifice for us on the cross, and about sin, and hell, and salvation.

In Chris' invitation, ten young people came forward to make decisions, and five of them prayed to receive Christ. Praise God!

After the invitation, we did a couple more songs: "Rescue" and "The Wonderful Cross." Then, after our second skit -- starring Daniel and Trevor as a couple of wacked-out military dudes -- it was time to dismiss everyone to the afternoon sessions.

In the first afternoon session, half the youth went to classes while the other half got free time. After an hour, they would switch places. I was taking a break and drink in the hallways, watching the first group shuttle around to their classes, when this girl stopped and talked to me. She then proceeded to follow me around all afternoon. It was wonderful.

I absolutely loved getting to be together with Lana as a couple in public for the first time. A totally new experience, to actually be expected to go everywhere and do everything with this one person, but totally awesome. We hung out, talked to some of our friends, searched for missing teenage girls (uh yeah, seriously), and ate supper together (well, she ate supper; I was way too keyed up to eat and just had a piece of bread). We both immensely enjoyed ourselves.

But alas, at some point I had to abandon my fair maiden for the time being and get stuff ready for the second service. It opened with a couple of songs from Deadlife, which is basically Billy, Daniel, and Trevor doing some songs that Billy has written. They were good. Then, after a last skit and a two-minute warning with Aaron Lovelace, the band was back up to lead worship.

We started with "Salvation Is Here", a classic church camp anthem that we've wanted to do for a long time and finally did this year. Then I let everyone take some meet-and-greet fellowship time while Daniel and Billy worked frantically on the electric guitar, which had gone woefully out of tune.

By the time we got everyone back together to continue the worship, I was a bit worried because there seemed to be some raucousness in the crowd, a lack of focus among some in the audience. Thanks be to God, it didn't last long; by the time we were well into our next song, "Enough", the focus was there and I was feeling the Lord's presence. We finished with two of my favorites, "Give Us Clean Hands" and "D Medley", both powerful songs of prayer. The Spirit was incredibly strong, and everyone was singing so loudly. I thanked God for honoring us with His presence and indwelling our praises.

Enter Rickey Dustin Wright. Dusty's message was just as strong as Chris', though in a different direction: he focused on the biblical image of cleansing the temple. He brought out some great insights from the Word. One was that cleansing the temple was the first thing and the last thing Jesus did in His earthly ministry. Another was that while Jesus never used force to drive people into the temple, He did use force to drive them out of it. Great stuff.

Dusty's big illustration came in the form of a large concrete heart, which he had hanging in a special platformed box. At the end of his message, he demonstrated what our own efforts to change our hearts are like by tossing little paper wads at this "hard heart". Then, to show the power the Word of God has to change hearts, he demolished the thing with a couple of blows from a sledgehammer. It was powerful imagery.

Early in Dusty's message, he felt led to go ahead and give an invitation for those who needed to be saved. There was no response, and Dusty turned around to get his Bible and begin preaching. But just as he did so, one young man got up from his seat and came down to the front. About seven or eight more young people followed; praise God, praise God! We don't know how many decisions were made during that time, but at least a couple prayed to receive Christ. One was Lana's friend whom she had introduced to me that afternoon, Hope. It was a blessing to see the joy on her face afterwards at her new salvation.

Dusty's message-ending invitation did not see any decisions for Christ, but the altar area was filled with young people in prayer. I played and sang the chorus to "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" on the keyboard. After everyone was finished praying, we played "Agnus Dei", accompanied for the first ever by my sister Hannah on violin; it's an amazing worship song with words all taken from the book of Revelation, and was a terrific capstone to the day. But the day was not quite over. It was time to head outside for the bonfire service.

That's right, the bonfire service. Not only had we not been sure whether we would have it, but I had been completely sure even that morning that we would not. Our county, Franklin, has had a burn ban for some time now; we had been told that a big rain would have to come on Thursday in order to lift the ban in time for FtF on Saturday. No rain on Thursday, no rain on Friday, and I was sure that meant no bonfire on Saturday.

Oh me of little faith! It rained for most of the morning on Saturday, and then Mrs. Georgia, a faithful member of the church and Branch city councilperson, decided to take matters into her own hands. She called the county judge and the county sheriff; both told her that even though the burn ban was still on, we could go ahead and have our fire since Branch had received a lot of rain. Why did I doubt?

Everyone silently walked outside for the bonfire. Only there was no bonfire -- to start with. Dusty waited until all were present, then told the story of Elijah on Mount Carmel, gesturing to an altar in the middle that we had built. Finally he recited Elijah's fervent prayer that God send fire to show Himself to the Israelites.

To the shock and awe of most of those in the crowd, a real, genuine fire fell on the altar and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifice -- or at least the wood we had piled on it. What a cool visualization of a true story from the Bible! (For those of you wanting to know how we did it, you ought to be able to guess.)

It was a perfect ending to a great day. FtF '07 is now in the past, but I think the impact of the day will continue to last far into the future. We at FBC Branch can't wait to see what God does in our group through this event, and we are also praying for all the groups that came and for those who made decisions for Christ. It has always been our goal that Fan the Flame not be a one-day monument to a "rally"-type gathering, but an ongoing movement where a passion for God continues to burn in our hearts.

The fire fell.

Our romance has begun

2007-08-27T16:36:00.000-05:00

Wow, how do I say this? Or better yet, how do I say this without writing a post that takes an hour to read?

I suppose I should inform you that I have a new watch. It is currently wrapped around my left wrist as I type. It's very nice. How did I get it? Oh, well, it was recently given to me by my future father-in-law.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not gonna kid myself and pretend that you all don't already read the blog of my bride-to-be. Plus, it's a lot easier on me here in the present if I acknowledge that fact. So if you read her blog, you know pretty well what has transpired. If you haven't, allow me to introduce you to it: musingsofaservantprincess.blogspot.com. Go check it out; you'll have to scroll through a couple posts before you get to the one that talks about how this whole romance started. She does it far more concisely (and, I think, more dramatically, since she was the one that was surprised) than I ever could.

But, okay, I'm not just gonna cop out and tell you to go read her blog and that's the end of it. Not only would that not be right, but I don't want to do that. So let me make my formal introduction:

That I, Luke Timothy, sometime known as Sir Luke the Impossible, have begun to pursue a courtship relationship with Lana Marie, sometime known as Lady Lana the Adorable (I am inclined to agree with this assessment), effective as of 8:15 pm on Thursday, August 23. While this courtship status is not completely synonymous with engagement (the giving of a commemorative ring and the establishing of a wedding date being the chief absences), our commitment to enjoying one another's company for the remainder of our time here on Earth, within the bonds of marriage ultimately, is unwaveringly settled.

There's a sample of the pompous style, chiefly to amuse my beloved and myself (it is truly enjoyable to come up with big, official-sounding words to describe something such as this). In the Common Tongue, it reads:

I have begun to court Lana, with the intention of marrying her, as of last Thursday night. That's not the same thing as engagement, which will come later; but in our eyes engagement is little more than a formality.

A commitment to marriage is a wonderful thing to announce, but that's only half of it. You see, I am not merely committed to Lana; I am in passionate love with her, and have been since February 27, the day God allowed me to fall in love. That is of course, incidentally, exactly six months ago today.

On Thursday night, Lana's parents and I conspired to give her the surprise of her life and an evening that neither she nor I would ever forget. You can read her blog to see how the surprise (and romantic evening) progressed. After surprising her, I, well, stalled, then prayed, then asked if I could court her. I'll never forget the way she said in tearful happiness, "What can I say? I'd love to?"

Having established our commitment, we spent a long time talking and, yes, gazing into each other's eyes. It was wonderful beyond words to finally be able to speak to her freely about our future together, about how I had longed for this evening to come, about what we had gone through to get here.

There was something else very important that I had to tell her, but I put it on hold until it was almost time for us to go back inside her house. Even when it was time, I stalled. Finally, with the help of God, I was able to get the words out the way I had planned on; her blog features a more-or-less direct quote from what I told her. I then talked about February 27, what had specifically happened on that day, and how in a flash, God flung open the doors of my heart and allowed her to come in and claim it. At the end, I paused, not wanting to be in the slightest unclear, ready to utter the magical words that I had longed to say for so long. And then I did. "I love you."

With tears forming again, she searched my eyes for a moment, overwhelmed. Then she whispered, "I love you too."

I almost couldn't believe it. Maybe I'm naive, maybe I'm modest, but I somehow expected to have to do more to win her heart than that. It's her heart, after all! Her most prized possession. For so long she had guarded it, obeying the command of the woman in Song of Solomon: not to awaken love until it so desires.

And in that perfect moment, she gave her heart to me. Freely, willingly, abundantly. My pursuit of her didn't last long; she allowed me to catch her and claim her. And now she is mine, and I am hers.

So now, whenever we receive queries from various friends and acquaintances with knowing expressions on their faces, we can finally answer that, yes, we are a couple. Oh, yeah, I'm with her. Who is that? Oh, that's my bride-to-be. Are ya'll in love? Uh, you better believe it.

I love everything about this. Let me list some things:

I love how open we get to be with each other. The night I declared myself, I asked her how many kids she wanted in the ensuing conversation. She was taken off-guard, but it didn't make her uncomfortable. Since we know we're going to marry each other, that's a viable question. (If you're interested, we decided that we have plenty of time to figure out how many kids to have, and God'll give them to us in His timing.) There's no hinting, no beating around the bush, no playing with emotions. We belong to each other in heart and spirit, and there's nothing hidden.
I love her family. Her parents have been so awesome to me, even before I asked them if I could marry their daughter, and even more so since then. It was them who did most of the planning for our romantic opening evening. When I met with her dad to ask his blessing, I expected to be asked about finances and other important "for the future" issues. Nope. He said we could talk about stuff like that later; for now, he wanted me to know that he completely approved of me and as far as he's concerned, I'm like another son now. That means so much to me.
I love getting to go around with her and be with her and not be worried what anyone thinks, because what they're thinking is probably the truth. We got to spend most of the afternoon together last Saturday at Fan the Flame (and I promise I will post on that soon), and it was so awesome. Being an official couple absolutely rocks my face off.
I love the insanity of romance. Thinking about her seemingly every other moment (at minimum), calling her on the phone just to hear her voice, constantly checking my e-mail for another message from guess-who. It's such an incredible feeling.
I love having the knowledge that we both waited on God's timing and did things His way in this relationship -- and continue to do things in what we believe to be His way. If we and our families had very different beliefs about romance, we could have and probably would have ended up being a couple a long time ago. But even though we were meant for each other, it wouldn't have been right to do it then; that wouldn't have been God's timing. Now, because we have waited for this point, when we can commit to each other for life and fall in love, with our parents' full blessing to marry, everything is so much sweeter and more romantic than it would have been otherwise. We still haven't held hands yet, and boy do I want to, but we're going to talk to our parents and obey God's will on that.
I love God as the giver of all blessings and the ultimate romantic. I absolutely know that He revels in this kind of stuff. His goodness to me and Lana blows me away; He has orchestrated everything so perfectly for us as we begin the process of intertwining our two lives as one. He truly overwhelms me.
Ahh, you knew this was coming. I love Lana Marie, the girl of my dreams (literally). As I told her the other night, she is my true love, my first love, and my only love. By God's grace, though I haven't been perfect, I am able to present myself to my bride as a one-woman man. I am still blown away that she loves me so freely. I want to love her as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. I have an insatiable passion for her, and to my eternal joy, she finally knows it. In the four days of our courtship, she has already made me happier than I ever knew I could be. I love you, princess.

As you might be able to imagine, I'll have a lot more on Lana and our relationship in the future. I am looking forward to God using this beyond merely our two lives and those of our families, to be an encouragement to those who seek to wait on His plan for romance in their own lives. For now I will say to all of you: wait on Him and do it His way. I can promise you, because I have finally seen it true in my life: you will not be disappointed.

The deep breath before the plunge

2007-08-23T17:27:00.000-05:00

Two days left. Two more days. Two days. Almost here. Man.

It truly is the deep breath before the plunge, in more ways than one.

Can you feel the anticipation?

Let the fire fall, Father.

Next time I post, it will be already over.

Why don't we pray together?

2007-08-21T14:32:00.000-05:00

"It is written, 'My house will be called a house of prayer.' But you are making it a den of thieves!" - Jesus Christ

We had an incredible prayer meeting last night for FtF.

Our youth group has been divided into two groups for work on Fan the Flame: prayer and advertising. The prayer group has done a great job of putting together different prayer focuses for the event. They have written a seven-day prayer guide for this week, distributed rubber bands to wear as a reminder to pray, and scheduled several different prayer meetings.

The one last night was a meeting at the church from 7-9 pm. We prayed together in a circle for a while, then separated. Most of us walked the church and surrounding property, lifting our petitions to God for the event. We gathered again at the end to pray together once more.

It was such an amazing feeling to be there, along with God's people, pleading with God to do a mighty work through FtF. It gave me comfort, encouragement, and a certain feeling -- that something spectacular is coming this Saturday. I'm not a prophet and that's not a prophecy, but that's what God was telling me as I prayed last night.

But the thought struck me as we wrapped up our meeting: Why do we not do this together, consistently, as a church?

It was a fairly small group that met to pray on Monday night. Probably sixteen people, somewhere around there. Yet the entire church had been invited. So what gives?

I have heard it said about churches: "You can tell how popular a church is by how many come on Sunday morning. You can tell how popular the pastor or evangelist is by how many come on Sunday night. But you can tell how popular Jesus is by how many come to the prayer meeting."

Ouch. Is that really true? I hope not, but I fear otherwise. After all, as Brooklyn Tabernacle pastor Jim Cymbala points out, Jesus didn't call the believers' gathering place a house of preaching. Nor did He call it a house of fellowship, or of ministry, or of song. He called it a house of prayer.

When, historically, has God moved in people's hearts? When there was prayer. Check Acts 2. When the Spirit fell on the believers in the upper room at Pentecost, Peter wasn't holding a preachfest. That came afterward. They were praying.

In Acts 4, when the place where the church was meeting was shaken, they weren't having a finger-food potluck. They were praying.

There are many more examples throughout history. God works through prayer. "The intense prayer of the righteous is very powerful," says James, and I don't think we understand how powerful it truly is.

When God's people meet to pray intensely, is there anything they cannot do? We had sixteen or so people last night in our meeting. What if we had had fifty? Or a hundred? Or more? What kind of impact could we have?

The key, of course, is that the focus is not on impact. Over my teenage years, I have longed to see God do great things, make a great impact in the world, launch a Great Awakening in this country. But the focus has to be on Him alone. When we do place our eyes upon Him in truth, we will change the world.

Praying by oneself is, of course, commanded in Scripture, in Matthew 6:5-8, among other passages. But we are also commanded to meet to pray together, and too often we forsake this calling. It is in the corporate prayer meeting that God will do a great work, in the hearts of those who are praying.

Why do we underestimate the power of prayer? Why do we shortchange God, limit His work in us? Do we not believe the promises in His Word? Do we forget the stories from the past of what He has accomplished through prayer?

And just as importantly, when will we begin to devote ourselves to prayer again?

The work of God continues...

2007-08-20T15:49:00.000-05:00

The weekend was absolutely insane. We're filming. We're not filming. We're filming. We're taking too long in filming. We're not filming this or that. We are filming this after all. It's raining (meaning we're not filming).

End result, we accomplished everything we hoped to get on Friday, and a small portion of what we hoped to get on Saturday. Along the way, God reminded me yet again who's in charge by bringing me to my knees.

You'd think that would have happened on Saturday, where we were unable to film most of what we had planned. But it was actually on Friday night. We were filming a scene with Eric and Leslie walking on the side of the road, and we couldn't figure out how to get it. It's always tough to do scenes where people are walking and talking for a sustained amount of time. That alone wouldn't bother me much, but Lana had been feeling very sick all day. Plus, she had a forty-minute drive home once we got done, which meant that it being a Friday night, we needed to get done and let her leave as soon as possible.

We tried one thing and another, and I began to get very frustrated. But Lana, the one who was being affected the most by all this, kept her calm and told me to slow down, calm down, and do it right. Thank God for her.

Once again, God was removing another layer of my pride. And even though I was thankful for that, I didn't like it. After all, the Word tells us to humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord. If He has to do it for us, we're not obeying Him like we should.

God molded me a little bit more on Friday night. It's crazy how much He's been doing in me over the summer, working to get rid of more and more of my pride. I'm learning so much about Him and about myself. A lot of it is stuff that I've known in my head for a long time, but I never realized the full impact of the meaning.

As Fan the Flame continues to get closer, God continues to prepare my heart. But I know absolutely that Satan is right there as well, doing his best to interfere in any way possible. He's not a gentleman; he plays dirty and will do whatever it takes to throw me off the path. I have definitely experienced more spiritual attack coming up on this year's FtF than for any of the previous ones, and that encourages me because I know God has something special planned.

School started today, and it's going to be interesting. Classes are so different from one another. The respective demeanors of my Intro to Theater professor and my Reasoning Across the Disciplines professor could not be more different. I had those classes today and have two writing classes and a history class tomorrow. In a way it's like, argh, school is here, blah. But it's also exciting simply because I know God has a great plan for my school year. I get to spend a lot of time alone with Him while I'm driving back and forth, and I get to take four out of my five classes with Lana, my best friend. Plus, who knows, maybe I'll actually learn something fun and/or beneficial, huh?

Go God, and readers, do three things for FtF. One, pray. Two, make sure you can come on Saturday. Three, invite as many people to come as you can. As you pray, continue to pray for rain; we got some this weekend, but not enough to lift Franklin County's burn ban. This means that unless we get more, the bonfire service is still going to be off. So please pray about that. Let the fire fall.

These are the times that set men's souls ablaze

2007-08-16T09:25:00.000-05:00

The life, it is becoming crazy. A lot of things are coming to a head here in the next couple of weeks. It's exciting, certainly a tad nervewracking, but I know God's in it and it's gonna be cool.

Yesterday was a really good day in a lot of ways, culminating in a good service last night. I didn't feel any of the concern and heaviness that had burdened me the previous week. We had what was, for me at least, a sweet time of worship, and we were even able to teach the youth a new song that we're doing at FtF: Chris Tomlin's "Awesome is the Lord Most High."

Dusty preached, and I thought it was a great message, very focused, very passionate. A hard message in a way, though. Dusty is not the type to shy away from stuff like sin and hell and the blood of Jesus (neither is Chris, of course). I'm quite sure he's offended people in the past with his strong invitations to accept Christ. But I think that's entirely biblical.

Things are totally coming together. Chris is, Lord willing, going to go pick up T-shirts today. We're meeting on Saturday afternoon to plan out decorations for the sanctuary. I have finished writing the skits and gotten scripts to most of my actors. Our advertising team is about to hit the towns in the next few days to put up flyers. The prayer team has several different prayer meeting scheduled. The band still needs some more practice, but is on track to be ready by next Saturday.

Filming continues to plug steadily along. We are, as of right now, set to film scenes at Leslie's house tomorrow, and then film Hunt stuff on Saturday. If we can get all of that right here in the last weekend before school starts, I will be a happy guy. It'll leave us with probably three good Saturdays of work, possibly four, before we're done.

That puts us getting done at the end of September, which I had previously dreaded, but now I'm like, let's just get it done. I'm not gonna cry about having to film something in October if that's what it takes.

After we finally get the filming finished, it'll be time to edit, then do ADR, score the thing (I'm expecting that to be tough but deliciously fun), do whatever needs to be done for our final sound mix, and have the world premiere.

So maybe it'll be done by Christmas. That's my current estimate. If not, then January at the very latest.

Making movies is pretty tough. All of us working on the project have learned that over and over thus far, and we'll definitely learn it a bunch more times before we finish. But we're learning some valuable lessons, not just about filmmaking, but about life. At least, I am.

It's been hard, and to be honest, I've brought a lot of the difficulty on myself. But I know God wants us to do this, and so even though it's frustrating at times, I believe it's all worth it. Regardless of whether we produce a good film or not.

So will it be a good film? I really don't know. It won't be anything approaching the quality of something you see in the movie theater. Some parts may fall on their faces, with cheesy dialogue (written by me) and hammy acting (done by me). But I think other parts will connect with the audience, hopefully. I think you'll find yourself laughing at Shawn and Travis at least a few times, focusing in on Clyde's inner struggle, identifying with Eric's heartfelt prayer.

And if you do, I'll sit back and praise God for using this film to affect its audience in some small way. If there's any glory to be found from this movie, He gets all of it.

More Thoughts on Fan the Flame

2007-08-14T14:18:00.000-05:00

Eleven days till Fan the Flame. I just sent information to one more church today, First Freewill Baptist in Charleston. It looks like they'll bring a group. Pretty cool to be able to get another commitment this late in the game.

Attendance-wise for FtF, we're looking for at least two hundred to show up, and I think that's definitely realistic. If we get that many, it's going to be a great crowd. If we get more than that, well, yeah baby, it will rock awesomely.

Even though it's a dream of ours to see the church packed out on August 25, I'm not too concerned about our attendance numbers. God will bring the ones who need to be there, and I believe His fire will fall on us. Of course, we still need to be doing everything we can in the meantime to get people there.

I know several people from outside our youth group have expressed interest in coming on this blog and others of my friends; and that's awesome. I would love to see a host of homeschoolers descend on FBC Branch for FtF; we actually have plenty in our youth group now, which rocks my face off.

Anyways, if any of you "outsiders" need any info about the event, just let me know; I think I'm in charge of information for FtF.

I do want to give a warning about the music, though. It's only fair that I let you know that it will be pretty loud. As the lead singer, however, I can assure you that there will NOT be a concert-type atmosphere, and all the songs will direct praise to God. We do several songs in kind of a rock-slash-worship style, but most of them are acoustic. We're even looking at featuring some piano this year, which I think will be fantastic.

Anyways, I wanted to shout that out because I know that homeschoolers sometimes have different convictions about music, and homeschoolers are currently most of my audience on this blog.

In the meantime, I would like to ask that my praying readers add another request to the list: rain. Each year we close Fan the Flame with a bonfire service; it's a special and unique time that has really made an impact on people in the past, and this year's bonfire service is planned to be the best one yet.

But it won't happen if we don't get some rain between now and then. After a rainy early summer, the floodgates have closed and it has become very dry. Our county, Franklin, is not yet under a burn ban, but it will be by FtF without rain. And we'll be unable to light our bonfire.

So please pray about that. I know God already has His perfect plan laid out regarding whether or not we're to have a bonfire this year. Pray that His will be done, for that and for everything regarding the event.

In my last post, I mentioned the class time on Sunday night with my youth group. They were such a blessing to me, sharing some of their concerns and heart's desires for the event. I believe that God is going to bless our group and use us to do a great work at Fan the Flame.

One thing I wanted to touch on in class, however, was that this event is really not anything special in a worldly sense. The band will lead worship. Chris and Dusty will preach the Gospel. We'll do some other fun stuff, eat a meal, have a bit of time to hang out. That's old hat for our youth group, if not necessarily for the visiting youth attending.

But I don't think it's what we do at Fan the Flame that matters so much. If we had Chris Tomlin there to lead worship, Billy Graham preaching, and a water park for afternoon fun, I certainly don't think our event would automatically become so much better. The key to FtF is not that the band rocks everyone's faces off in worship, or that Chris and Dusty mesmerize the crowd with dynamic messages, or that everybody has the maximum amount of possible fun in the afternoon. The key is that we surrender ourselves to God and allow Him to move in a mighty way in our hearts on Saturday, August 25. And if that happens, the event will be a smashing success.

So don't expect an all-star event a week from this Saturday. At the same time, expect God to do something amazing. It's what we're praying for.

Let the fire fall.

Back from the dead, and, living passionately

2007-08-13T16:46:00.000-05:00

Crazy, crazy weekend. I think I'm about recovered from it now, though a good night's sleep tonight will help.

I'll try to give full-fledged production updates again at some point soon, but at the moment there's simply too much to tell. I'll try to give you some information.

Friday night. Filming after dark, trying to get two campsites finished (there are three in the film; the first one we did two weeks ago, as you'll remember from my production updates). Dark is, oh, about 9:00, say. We had to wait on Daniel, who had had to work every day of the week, and who was also going to pick up Tony. They pulled in at about 10:30.

Ouch. Already an hour and a half behind, right out of the gate. By the time Daniel had showered and we finished applying makeup and studying script and got out to the location to film, it was midnight.

Tip for budding filmmakers: If you can help it, don't ever start shooting at midnight. If you finish at midnight, that's okay, but it's not fun to begin and know that the clock already reads AM.

Five and a half hours later, after multiple delays (which were pretty much beyond our control), we finally picked up our stuff and pulled out. Yup, you've got that right, 5:30 am.

Incidentally, the most beautiful part of the day begins at about 5:30. Lying in a sleeping bag on the ground, facing the lightening sky, trying to decide whether to get my two hours of sleep or just stay awake through the whole thing, I was awestruck. It's such a gorgeous sight as the light continues to creep into the sky, the stars slowly disappearing. I felt like I was in some movie. Or like I had just finished filming part of one.

In the morning, we had three more scenes to do. Feeling pretty miserable (at least, I was; I don't know about everyone else, but I can pretty much guess), we got them done and pulled out for home.

All in all, I was happy with the weekend. I felt like we were able to buckle down and work hard and together. We weren't perfect, but you're not going to be when it's late at night (or is it that early in the morning?). I was proud of my fellow troopers, all sibling pairs: Daniel and Hannah (who are of course my own siblings), Lana and Tony, Trevor and Tara. They faced a night even more difficult than the last night shoot we did, never complained, worked hard, and got stuff accomplished. I will definitely do my best to think of an appropriate way to honor them when we get to the end of this whole thing. "Good times gravy."

Sunday was a difficult day. There were classes to teach, songs to lead, lessons to prepare, band practices to conduct, slideshows to run; and I wasn't running on a full tank. At several points during the day I responded with anger and frustration, then had to ask God to forgive me and help me.

And now? Well, it never rains but it pours, as they say in Bree. In the next two weeks, I've got a magazine, a movie, and a youth event to work on. School starts a week from today. Work. Church. Other things in my personal life.

But I'm kinda looking forward to it. Some fun stuff coming up. When I get engulfed in the sea's depths, I simply have to suck in the water and trust God to allow me to breath it. He always does.

One thing I've kinda rediscovered (by the grace of God) in the last couple of months is how exhilarating life truly is. When you give your everything to the Giver of life and put your trust in Him, He makes everything that much more fun. And I guess that last statement is an unconscious paraphrase of Matthew 6:33: "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

Not that I have done that perfectly, or anywhere close to perfectly. I have still messed up, still failed, still rebelled, in ways that shame me. If I were in my Heavenly Father's shoes, looking down at my life, I would probably be continually yelling, "Why can't you get it?" Thankfully, He continues to show grace and mercy to me beyond what I deserve.

And so yeah, life is fun. It can be kinda cool to put stuff in God's hands, not having any idea how He's going to work it out. Hunted, for example. Will we even have filming done by the end of September? I have no idea. But I know it belongs to God, and He's going to work it out the way He sees fit -- which is infinitely better than any plan I could conceive.

One of my goals is that throughout my life, from youth to old age if God allows me that long, I would live passionately. Passionate people change the world. Passionate people experience true happiness and fulfillment. Passionate people don't just say they know, they truly do know that nothing is too big for the God they serve. Passionate people inspire others to be passionate. Passionate people don't get hung up on the little things of life, but focus on stuff like faith and hope and love, and let that filter through into the little things. Passionate people are fun to be around. Passionate people get movies made about them.

Not that I want a movie made of my life. And not that I can say all of those things about myself, even though I am trying to live passionately. But there are so many people on this earth who don't live passionately, and it shows. They may not have a care in the world, but they also don't have anything genuine to care about. They may never try to do something big and fail, but that's because they will never try anything big in the first place. They may never have their hearts broken, but that's because they're unwilling to allow their hearts to love. They risk nothing and gain nothing; they put nothing in and get the same thing out.

Life is not about money. It's not about cars or clothes or sports or music or even church or family. No, I think when it all boils down, life is about passion. A passion for the Creator that fills everything else we do.

If you have that, you are a shining star in His universe, and you will find happiness because you're seeking it in the right place. If you don't have it, no matter how many other great and wonderful things may be in your life, they count for nothing.

Well, I could keep going, but I'll stop for now, though I daresay I feel a magazine article coming out of this. But it's 6:00 and time for me to leave work. Till tomorrow.

Uh-oh, here we go again

2007-08-10T09:44:00.000-05:00

No, the title doesn't signify bad news, merely that it's back-to-back with the previous post. So if you haven't read that one yet, go do it and then come back up to this one. I feel like I owe multiple posts after a long silence.

While our plans for Friday and Saturday were restored by the grace of God, our Thursday plans fell through. We had been planning on using a couple of homes of people in our church. Well, they weren't sure whether they'd be available on Thursday because they were supposed to help somebody move, and then Jordan, my contact who also happens to be in our band, never told me for sure. Then he temporarily dropped off the face of the earth (which he does sometimes). By Wednesday night, I had to make the decision to call the filming off. It was okay in a sense, because I had kinda felt from the Lord that Thursday wasn't going to be a good day to film anyway.

We were able to use Thursday night for band practice. Daniel, Trevor, and I, that is. That's the guitar, drums, and vocals in our band, respectively. We also have Billy the old one (he's like, 30, I mean old) on bass and Jordan the young one (he's like, 15, I mean young) on congas. But they weren't able to make it, Jordan's reason of course being the whole helping-move thing, so the three of us practiced together and made some progress. There's a little Chris Tomlin ditty called "Let God Arise" that is going to ROCK at Fan the Flame. If the Lord wills. We're all pretty excited about playing that song.

In the last couple of days, sitting at home because I was off work, I was able to get various stuff accomplished for FtF. I have finally finished our skits, the ones we were originally scheduled to begin practicing three weeks ago, and I'm fairly happy with them. The last one, a take-off on "This Little Light of Mine", is the best; it has a type of humor I haven't used in a long time.

And then, Wednesday. (Notice how I kinda keep going back in time here? That's not intentional.) God has really blessed our youth group and allowed us to grow quite a bit in the last few months. We now run a solid 30-35 on Wednesday nights. I think we can easily have 40 every time if we can get a few more people that are "on the fringe" to start being faithful.

At any rate, on Wednesdays we usually start getting together at about 4 or 4:30 at the church. We hang out, maybe play some basketball or Ping-Pong, talk. Then we eat (our food being cooked by Dusty's wonderful wife Amanda and Chris' wonderful wife Dadrian, with help from some of the youth girls). And for about a year now, instead of having "class" on Wednesday nights, we basically have a full-fledged service in the fellowship hall. I lead the worship time, assisted by Daniel on the guitar (and lately we've added Caleb Melton and Jordan on the guitar as well), and then either Chris or Dusty preaches.

It's something we decided to start doing while we were at church camp last year, and I think it has been awesome, no question. I would estimate that we've seen close to thirty youth pray to receive Christ on Wednesday nights since we started doing the service. Not all of those decisions were genuine, sadly, but many were, by God's grace.

Anyways, it's straight-up awesome to be able to lead worship every Wednesday night for a group of young people. I highly encourage that all my readers do it sometime (wink). We have had some great times of worship, and the Spirit had really been moving lately. But in the last couple of weeks, we leaders have been noticing something a bit alarming.

It wasn't something earthshattering, just a small difference that we probably wouldn't have picked up on if the Spirit hadn't told us. While everything perhaps looked okay during our worship times, we began to sense that the group wasn't totally united, that a lot of the kids were holding back during worship.

That's never a good thing for a youth group. When you've got Fan the Flame, a huge event that you want God to bless mightily, coming up in a few weeks, it has the potential to be deadly. So we and some of the older guys in the youth group prayed about it before the service on Wednesday, and we came to the service ready to address the issue.

Dusty started, butting in to the announcement time (just kidding; it's always cool with me when he or Chris does that) and stating concisely that we had noticed the group as a whole hadn't been as focused lately as it should be. Then, after giving the announcements and taking prayer requests, I let loose on the group.

It wasn't pleasant, for me or for them. I nearly always try to be upbeat and positive at the beginning of the worship service, but not this night. I shared the story from Joshua about the Israelites' defeat at Ai and how the sin of one man, Achan, was responsible. It was uncomfortable. Several of the youth, especially ones who hadn't been coming for very long, were glancing around as if to say, "Is this guy off his rocker?" I began to worry that none of it was getting through, that the whole service was going to go down the drain, that I was saying too much.

It's hard not to say too much in a situation like that; there was so much I wanted to say, but it has to be God speaking to them, not me. Finally, I quit talking and started singing. We usually start with an energetic song to get going, but this time we kicked off with the prayerful "One Thing".

And we had worship. It felt wonderful. For me, it was passionate worship. I sang a lot louder than I usually do; hopefully that didn't throw anyone off. The Spirit fell upon us.

Chris then gave a hardcore message about witnessing; good stuff and convicting, for me (I think) as much as the kids. As the service wrapped up, I felt a lot better about the unity of the group. I'm not naive enough to think it was all resolved, that everything's now perfect. But I know some kids got right with God on Wednesday, and our group is better off for it.

I just pray that we'll be ready for what God has for us at Fan the Flame. Fifteen days to go.

But that's not all...

2007-08-10T09:24:00.000-05:00

Well, I have left my readers in the lurch, and I do apologize. Circumstances beyond my control (namely an unintelligent hunk of plastic and metal by the name of DELL) prevented me from posting. And honestly, I don't know how long it'll be before I can post again after today. Oh well, here I am for now.

If you've read sunshine princess (Lana)'s blog, then you've heard the rrrrrrest of the story, as Paul Harvey calls it. But I'll describe it anyway in case you haven't.

Let's see, where were we? Ah yes, Tuesday, everything falls through. I was trusting in God and doing good by His grace, but silly me, I never stopped to think about the possibility that He might go ahead and let us film on Friday and Saturday anyway.

Which is exactly what happened. Trevor (the "source" of all the "trouble", bless 'im) called me back later that afternoon. Of course, being Trevor, his call was not about the cancelled filming, but about some irrelevant topic. He mentioned as an aside, "Oh yeah. I was gonna tell you, we're not going on vacation till Monday."

A bright light shone down as the heavens opened up and began to rain pizza rolls. Oh blessed T-Rev! What a joy divine!

Actually, at this point I was beyond being surprised, and since I was already HAPPY (see previous post), I couldn't get a lot happier than I was. I do wish the sky would rain pizza rolls sometime, though.

At any rate, I called Lana back to tell her that we were back on for the weekend. And there was much rejoicing. And now it's Friday, and I'm gearing up to leave in about six hours for the filming we weren't supposed to be able to do.

I think God must laugh at us sometimes, in a good way. Not to say that He wadded up my plans and threw them in the trash and dug them out and gave them back to me just for the fun of it, but I bet it was a little bit funny to Him. Probably a little bit sad, too: "How hard is it for him to trust Me?"

Hopefully, a little less hard after Tuesday. In the meantime, I still feel good. Have I fallen on my face since then, messed up, wasted opportunities? Yeah, and that hasn't felt good. But I know He's with me, always ready to pick me up, dust me off, and set my feet in the right direction again.

I love you, Father.

I Feel Good (NA-na-NA-na-NA-na-NA)

2007-08-07T17:22:00.000-05:00

Last night, I found out that my plans for this weekend had been utterly crushed. Crumpled up into a little ball and tossed into the trash can. Not what I was wanting to hear.

These weren't the oh-here's-what-I'll-probably-do-if-I-have-time-and-don't-just-decide-to-sit-at-home-and-read-a-book type plans; these were the life-or-death-and-i-can-already-sense-suffocation-setting-in-if-they-fall-through type plans. Uh, yeah.

Our movie is far behind schedule. We were hoping to have the filming finished by the end of July. It's August 7th, and we're only approximately halfway done. We had planned to get some major stuff done on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday -- to the tune of 10-12 scenes.

And I found out last night that we wouldn't be able to do it. And I found out this morning that the next weekend was not an option for our Friday-Saturday stuff.

Sometimes I wonder if God has any purpose for this movie beyond making it an exercise in trust. I know He does, but so far He indeed has used it as a major test of my faith. I failed it initially. When my brother broke the news to me last night, I was hopping mad. It wasn't the first time something like this had happened, and it very well may not be the last.

But today I have realized again that God is the one who crumpled up my plans and threw them in the trash can. It was His plan, His perfect will, for me to have my weekend plans fall through. It was always His plan, and He's not one bit worried or concerned or angry because He knows exactly what He's doing, and it's far better than what I try to do. Makes it kinda hard to complain, huh?

The weekend fall-through is, of course, not the end of the world. Or even the end of the movie. There are other options, other ways, other paths, and somehow we'll still get this thing done. If it's God's will.

After discussing the failed plans with my parents, I went into my room for my daily quiet time. My reading just "happened" to be Philippians 2; this made it very difficult to focus inward (try reading it sometime and then focusing on yourself; it's hard). Then I remembered a passage that my dad had referenced in a sermon several weeks ago, one that I had reread and found especially applicable to my own life. I read it again, and was struck once again by the clear fact that God wrote it for me. It's Psalm 37 if you want to go check it out, which I recommend.

Verses 23 and 24 were especially poignant:
A man's steps are established by the Lord, and He takes pleasure in his way.
Though he falls, he will not be overwhelmed, because the Lord holds his hand.

How cool is it to have "the King of the universe hold your hand", as a song by Pocket Full of Rocks says? Those verses lifted me up, gave me a firm swat on the bottom, and made me feel better; you usually do after a spanking.

Then I talked to Lana about the filming ordeal. She was such an encouragement, taking the news calmly (unlike me), helping me look through options, and voicing encouragement. The combined effort of my quiet time and my friend made it impossible for me to feel bad anymore.

Nope, by the grace of God, I'm hoppin' HAPPY! It was such a weird feeling as I got off the phone with her, because I knew it was a happiness that didn't come from myself. I had given the movie completely to God, letting Him know that He can do with it what He wants. If He doesn't want it finished, that's okay with me, because it's what He wants.

Not that I really believe He doesn't want us to finish it. It would be a hard pill to swallow if He gave it to me. But ultimately, if He were to tell me that, I'd be torn up, but it'd be all right, because He's in control.

I feel like singing. Ah, maybe not "I Feel Good" (the title of this post), but perhaps one of the new songs we'll be playing at Fan the Flame. Part of it goes:
God above all the world in motion
God above all my hopes and fears
No matter what the world throws at me now
It's gonna be all right
'Cause I know my God saved the day
And I know His Word never fails
And I know my God made a way for me
Salvation is here

Yeah, baby! Do we serve an awesome God, or what? Hey, please come to FtF on August 25, because you're gonna hear one pumped-up dude leading the songs! God is awesome! I feel good and I'm praising Him!

Singing, Filming, Looking Forward to College

2007-08-05T22:33:00.000-05:00

Pretty good day today; lots of singing. Our song leader, one of the pillars of our church and a great man of God, has moved to Clarksville. I am filling in for now (and now could last for a long time, which is perfectly OK with me), leading the songs on Sunday mornings and evenings.

Also, we had band practice this afternoon between services. It was a good hour-long session. We're going to mix in some new songs for Fan the Flame to go with some of the ones we've played for (seemingly) forever. I'm excited about the opportunity to teach Chris Tomlin's "Let God Arise" to our FtF audience.

Filming yesterday went pretty well; filming for tomorrow fell through. I'll try to provide a capsule of yesterday's filming at some point tomorrow. The movie's production continues to progress well, but a lot more slowly than any of us want. It has become a real test of my faith to trust God that we will be able to get this all filmed in His time.

It's been good, though. I continue to be amazed at the sacrifices that so many people have made for the film; and we're still adding new people to that "list". It's not only the ones who are actually involved on the film; often their families are forced to sacrifice time with them so they can be part of this project. It's humbling to me, and it also motivates me to try to do as good a job as we can and also get it done as quickly as we can. The latter is difficult, but again, I have to trust God that He'll work it all out.

Two weeks till school starts, at least for those of us who are enrolled in the esteemed University of Arkansas-Fort Smith. I'm kinda looking forward to classes at this point, which is pretty weird for me. I figure I'll enjoy the feeling while I have it, and it'll probably be gone in, oh, about three weeks. It may last through the first week, which is always pretty easy. I say always as if I'm an old pro, though I've only been through two semesters. Still, that's a significant portion of my higher education.

This year, my classes are
Advanced Composition - a writing class that I expect to be no more than the next-gen model of Freshman Comp II
Nonfiction Writing - a writing class that could be fairly fun and interesting, or could be a clone of Advanced Comp
Reasoning Across the Disciplines - a philosophy class which I know nothing about beyond the title
Europe: 20th Century - a history class that I'm taking because I had the professor in another class last semester and he was awesome; plus, the topic will be cool
Introduction to Theater - a, well, theater class that I hope will be a blast

I think I definitely am getting settled in to the whole college experience, though. I've always heard that the first year is the hardest, and I think it's true. Not necessarily in terms of the actual work, but in terms of getting adjusted and all that jazz.

And speaking of jazz: The biggest thing I'll miss about this semester is not having Don Bailey as an instructor. He is one of the many outstanding music professors at UAFS; directs the university jazz band; and taught my Music Appreciation class last semester. My verdict on him: If you go to UAFS, do everything you can to take him. He's an awesome teacher, if more than a bit unconventional, and his class is a ton of fun (and easy to boot!). OK, enough of my Bailey plug -- and this post. I seem to be getting pretty good at those long ramblings; the short ditties have mostly not yet materialized.

Peace out and go God.

On the Nature of Posts, and, Fan the Flame

2007-08-03T14:50:00.000-05:00

As you read this blog, you'll soon notice that some posts will be outrageously long, while others will be short ditties. Some will be movie updates, some will be grandiose musings on life and God, and some will be quickie capsules of my life.

Right now, I'm sitting at work -- an AT&T authorized agent store in Charleston, Arkansas. It's been a fairly uneventful day of work, but I'm looking forward to getting off here in a couple of minutes. Tomorrow we have an afternoon and evening of filming lined up, all stuff involving the villainous Gang.

Picking up this post again at home now. I love Blogger, BTW; automatically saves your drafts so you can pick them up again any ol' time you want. Amazing Stacey.

I'm about to go work on a Sunday night lesson for my youth group. I part-volunteered, was part-enlisted, as "Sunday night coordinator" for our youth at First Baptist Church of Branch. It's been a pretty cool opportunity so far. I've been doing a series of lessons recently on the biblical monarchs of Kings and Chronicles. We go through each of their lives and pick up on the lessons to be learned from them. We started with Solomon, who took a while, and have finally moved on to Rehoboam and Jeroboam.

This week and in the next few weeks, we're going to take a break from our study of the kings and do some special focus lessons as we lead up to Fan the Flame, our annual youth event that will take place on Saturday, August 25. This week, the lesson is on fasting. It's not an issue we've addressed in our youth for a long time, and I think it'll be a neat chance to teach them. I plan on emphasizing that while putting away the eats is the most popular form (and one of the most effective forms) of fasting, it is by no means the only one. It's gonna be good.

And Fan the Flame, you ask? It's a pretty special day. I think it's fantastic that a church our size can put on a youth event like this each year. Of course, God gets all the glory for it; we're merely earthen vessels. It kicks off at 1:00 pm and ends somewhere around 9. We have two worship services, one in the early afternoon and one in the evening. I am privileged to be able to lead worship, along with the rest of the members of our youth group's band, Singled Out. Our speakers are my partners in crime in youth leadership, Chris Russell and Dusty Wright. It's an awesome day, and we believe this year's event will be the best one yet.

The whole point of Fan the Flame is to get a whole bunch of people together (they don't even have to be all youth, though that's our target group) and experience the moving of the Holy Spirit in a mighty way. We've seen some truly amazing things through this event in the past, and, again, we think the best is yet to come.

So yeah, I'm pumped about that. Band practice is tonight, and I'm really looking forward to what we can do as a band this year. We're going to introduce some new songs and hopefully branch out a bit musically.

Dude, I am getting seriously psyched just sitting here typing. To all my readers: Please pray for this event; we can do nothing without the effectual fervent prayers of the righteous men and women of God. Also, if you haven't heard about it yet, please plan on attending and invite some friends to come with you. It's going to be a phenomenal day. Go God!

Now I'd better go work on my lesson a bit.

The Four Rules of Writing

2007-08-02T12:28:00.001-05:00

One of my absolute favorite authors is Ted Dekker. He writes daring, audacious stories that draw readers closer to their Creator. One of his best novels, Showdown, lays out four rules of writing. I don't know if he thought them up on his own or derived them from some other source, but I think they're brilliant in simplicity and they help me in my writing. Perhaps they'll help other writers out there.

The Four Rules of Writing
1. Write to discover.
2. There is no greater discovery than love.
3. All love leads to the Creator.
4. Write what you will.

The Great Production Experience - Saturday, July 28

2007-08-01T00:21:00.000-05:00

Date: Friday, July 27

Location: My grandparents' property, Natural Dam, AR

Cast: Luke, Lana, Trevor, Daniel, Tony, Chris, James, Dusty

Crew: Hannah, Tara

*Yawn* Ah, there's nothing like waking up at 7:00 in the morning when you've been up working since two the previous evening. It was a lovely morning, but we weren't enjoying it terribly much, thank you. A couple of our group were up before me, but I managed to rouse the rest of them and even peek in and wake up Lana as she slumbered on a beautiful mattressed bed. OK, OK, so she was sick; is that supposed to be some kind of excuse? *Ducks*

Breakfast: Donuts and chocolate milk. Three cheers for chocolate milk! A truly wonderful way to kick off a day. After getting everybody up, fed, and dressed, we departed back into the woods to our set from the night before for a morning scene.

The scene went well. I cannot resist pointing out that a certain female member of the cast was not set to appear in the scene; her character is off-screen in Shawn and Travis' tent and only her voice appears. This esteemed actress did not need to enter the tent at all to play her role; she could have merely stayed off-camera, yet she somehow managed to stay inside the tent for the duration of the filming of the scene! I must admit, she delivered her one line beautifully during each take. If only I could have it this easy.

With that done, Daniel left with Trevor, Tara, and Hannah to drop off Tara at her abode and pick up our morning crew. Our morning crew being James and Dusty. While they were gone, well, what's a filmmaker to do but shower? It was a lovely shower, and I confess I took longer than usual. It was a bit disheartening afterward to put on the same stinky clothes, but I felt 500% better. Smelled 500% better too, even with dirty clothes. Old Spice is awesome stuff.

Because of various delays, Daniel and the others would end up being gone for about three hours, instead of the expected two. And they had already left a full hour late. The rest of us (myself, Lana, Tony, and Chris), after taking the showers, went off to scout locations along the sides of my grandparents' bluffs. Marvelous things they are, and they will look gorgeous when we use them in the climactic final chase of the film.

Here's one of the many brilliant sections of woods.

Pretty sweet view.

Could this cliff or another like it be important in the climax of the movie? I wonder...

Fast forward to lunchtime; the others had finally completed the trip up, and we sat down to a delicious meal of grilled-chicken sandwiches. Oh baby, these were awesome. The girls applied makeup to the newcomers while Chris ribbed Dusty about being so late. Ah, good to be among both of my fellow youth leaders again!

After lunch, it was time to go back to the original Shawn-and-Travis tent location from the day before, the one we'd done all the running around. This time, in a scene that takes place shortly after the aforementioned one, gang members Carl (Chris) and Barry (James) run into Shawn and Travis' tent. More running, but this time for the bad guys. Chris and James play their roles with the intensity of hunters in the midst of the hunt, while Daniel and Tony get to be laid back and cool.

Then Daniel had to take Tony back to Van Buren since his part in the acting had been completed. Meanwhile, we filmed a couple of scenes exclusively between Carl and Barry. My goodness, James had trouble with one of them! He could not stop laughing at a particular part. We went through probably about twenty takes but finally managed to salvage the scene. He did better with the next scene, and to his credit, you probably won't be able to tell in the finished film that he had such trouble. After a while Chris also got distracted and started laughing some too. Sometimes it's hard to keep yourself under control as an actor; in this case they needed to work quickly because both of them had to leave pretty soon.

At last the scenes were done. Exit Chris and James, both of whom did a fine job. We were now ready to do our final shooting of the day, all involving only one actor: Dusty as Clyde, the leader of the Gang and older brother of Eric. Only problem was, the first of these scenes happens near nightfall. We had to wait until the sun was nearly down to drive out to our road location (in my grandpa's nearly-brand-new Chevy pickup, which he graciously agreed to let us borrow) and film a brief scene where Clyde talks on the phone and then vents inner turmoil. One down, two to go.

Back at the house, we had a simple shot of Clyde sitting in a chair and staring into space. Really? you ask. What's that doing in a movie? Doesn't sound very dramatic. Well, time will tell, but I think it will be very dramatic when it's all put together. Anyways, it was difficult to try to light this scene; we ended up using some white Christmas lights (those come in very useful for night scenes) and a low-wattage blue light that Lana bought. It took a while to get them situated where the camcorder would pick up the light on Dusty's face correctly. To make matters worse, my grandparents don't have air conditioning, so it was like a sauna in the room. But we got it done, and it matched my vision for the scene very closely.

The final shot was just a brief look at Clyde in bed, unable to sleep. This one was easy to light; we got it and got the shot in just a few minutes. Then it was time to bid my grandparents goodbye, thank them heartily for their gracious hosting during the past thirty-two hours, pack everything up, and head for home!

Hannah and I finally made it home a little after 11:00. Oh, glorious shower and bed that I call my own at home! It's now Tuesday night (or Wednesday morning technically), and I think I'm almost physically recovered from the weekend. Pretty crazy, but we got a lot of stuff done.

I am so thankful for my fellow cast and crew on this project, who are willing to devote so much of their time and energy to a dream that was not their own. I love all of you guys and could not do it without a single one of you. Thank you also to all of our families, who have sacrificed much as well that we might be able to make this little movie. I pray that it is all worth it.

Here I go getting all sentimental. Can't let that happen yet; we've still got a lot of filming in front of us yet. Stay tuned once again for further updates!

The Great Production Experience - Friday, July 27

2007-07-29T21:56:00.000-05:00

Coming Fall 2007

Hobbbottom Films presents

A Shadow of the Cross production

Hunted

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, the biggest motion picture of the year is set to be released this fall. The buzz is growing; production continues; all eyes are trained on a little town called Branch, Arkansas, the home base of a Major Motion Picture.

So yeah, it's gonna be great. The film is written, directed, and produced by Yours Truly. I also play the main role in the film (hey, what can I say? I'm an idiot). I'll give production information and a plot synopsis later. For now, know that production (the actual filming of the movie) has been ongoing since late May. It's been slow and hard, and it will get harder while hopefully speeding up. But our most difficult film days of all have been this past Friday and Saturday.

So follow along with me as I chronicle the debacle that will become a no-budget film called Hunted. I will continue to provide production updates as we have more film days. For now, let's check it out what was up this past weekend.

Date: Friday, July 27
Location: My grandparents' property, Natural Dam, AR
Cast: Luke, Lana, Trevor, Daniel, Tony
Crew: Hannah, Tara, Chris
(Note: Those included in the "Cast" category are also generally part of the "Crew", and sometimes members of the "Crew" are cast members who aren't in any scenes that day.)

Here we were on a bright sunny afternoon, heading up to my grandparents for some intense filming. We had filmed there last Monday as well, but it was cooler and less humid then. This day felt more like a typical July day in Arkansas.

We got to the house at about 3:30, which was about what we were expecting. My mom and little brothers were with us, coming to spend some time with our grandparents and join us for supper. We had to apply makeup, study scripts to memorize lines, do some read-throughs, and then head out to the location to do our first shooting of the day.

This particular location is a small field with some great pine trees on one side and fairly thick woods surrounding on two sides. A solitary pine tree provides a good amount of shade, and it was there that we decided to set up our tent for our two crazy camper characters, Shawn and Travis (played by Daniel and Tony).

Actually, it wasn't quite so simple as that. See, we set the tent up prior to going in there for filming. After getting it set up, we headed back to the house to regroup and have some cold water (or for some non-brainiacs among us, root beer and Mountain Dew). It was then that we were informed that my younger brother Caleb, aged 10, had had a bad dirt bike accident.

A bad one. Apparently his face slammed down onto solid dirt, and he also scraped his arm badly. He was in a ton of pain and kept screaming, unable to form words because of a swollen lip and incoherent anyway. My mom took him to the ER in Fort Smith, where he was revealed to have had a mild concussion. Amazingly, his nose wasn't broken and his teeth were unaffected. Thank You, Lord! (Caleb is recovering and his swelling is slowly going down, but his face doesn't look so great.)

It hurt so bad to see my little brother hurting as badly as he was, and not be able to do a thing about it. Everyone else was affected, too. But we were thankful that he hadn't been hurt any worse, not finding out the details about his injuries until later.

After giving everybody several minutes to restructure emotions, I restarted our preparations and we went out there to film. We set our two intrepid heroes down beside the tent and proceeded to film a fairly brief scene where they first meet our other three intrepid heroes: Eric (myself), Leslie (Lana), and Ryan (T-Rev).

The scene went fairly well, but involved a bit of running for me, Lana, and Trevor. This film actually features quite a bit of running in a few parts. I hadn't been looking forward to doing that, considering that I am nigh totally out of shape, but doing these brief shots with running was actually quite enjoyable. Maybe I'll like it after all.

Once we'd gotten the scene, we headed back to the house to eat supper (burgers and dogs grilled by our grandparents, plus chili). It was then that Chris showed up to help our night shots. He plays the gang member Carl in the film, but didn't have any scenes until the next morning.

After supper, we embarked out into the woods for setup. At least, Chris, Lana, Trevor, and I did; the others, led by 1st Assistant Director Daniel, stayed in the yard and set up the tents we would be sleeping in that night. Little did we know how late it would be before we got to go to bed.

The four of us found a pretty sweet location for the first of three campsites that our heroes stay at during the course of the film, and we proceeded to build a campfire, set up the characters' tent, and position some rocks and logs around the fire as seats. By the time the others had joined us, it was almost dark.

Next, lighting. Our goal was to provide a wide range of sight that would cover the whole campsite. That's not necessarily the easiest thing to do when it's pitch black and all you have to start with is a fire. The solution was to set up a common domed work light in a tree above the fire and shine it down directly onto the fire. That way, we had plenty of light, but it would seem as if it were coming from the fire. Well, sort of. In the finished movie, viewers may well notice that there's more light than just that from the fire. But at least you'll be able to see everything that happens, which is top priority.

Now, finally to start filming a mammoth scene, the first of two that we would film that night, but by far the longer and more difficult. But before we did, Chris gave us a short talk about staying focused and doing all of this for God. Then he led prayer. I love that guy. That talk and prayer helped us so much that night. Now, on!

"The flames grew bigger and BIGGER, and hotter and HOTTER. . . . Chasing him down the corridors, and creeping, and moaning. . . . Until at last . . he had nowhere else to run."

Shawn, played by my aforementioned brother and First A.D. Daniel, held center stage as he spewed a riveting campfire scary story. We got several shots of his performance, as well as some shots of the four others intently listening.

It was a good start to a long shoot. That scene may well prove to be the most difficult single scene of any that we shoot on the movie. Long, complicated, but ultimately very memorable; at least I hope so. Several of our actors have named it one of their favorites, and the filming turned out well.

But talk about lengthy. We began setting up at about 8:30, and we didn't finish the shoot and pick everything up until about 1:30. Five hours, yeow. That's one thing about a movie: you put so much in and get so little out. Our efforts will eventually turn into about six or seven minutes of finished movie. But that's the way it has to be on a movie. No way around it.

Back we went to the place in the yard where we would spend the night. By 2:00, we had all rolled into bed. I would like it to go down for the record that the girls did spend several minutes longer talking than the guys did. Little did we know that Lana would soon abandon us and go sleep inside.

And that's where I'll stop for now; after all, it's after midnight as I write this and I'm still recovering from the weekend rest-wise. Hey, be thankful, because I actually carried this account a couple hours into Saturday. Next time I'll pick it up on the daytime for Saturday, July 28; and in the future, as I said, I'll give some more basic information on the movie. Most of you reading this probably don't need that anyway, though; you already know it.

You never saw this one coming (if you did, just stay quiet about it)

2007-07-26T17:13:00.000-05:00

Welcomes are overrated.

Important things you need to know about me if we're both gonna be happy on this blog:
1) My name is Luke, NOT Lucas. Deal with it.
2) I'm a J. R. R. Tolkien freak. If you don't know who that is, go google his name; it's worth your while.
3) I'm an aspiring writer and filmmaker. Emphasize "aspiring" on the "filmmaker" part.
4) I live in the greatest state of the Union, Arkansas (notice I did say the greatest state in the Union; no stars and bars here, give me Old Glory all the way!). More specifically, in the northwest section, which happens to be the prettiest part.
5) My dad is a Southern Baptist pastor who has currently been at our small church for fifteen years. My mom is the coolest homemaker this side of anywhere. I have four younger siblings: a brother (aged 16), a sister (13), a brother (10), and a brother (6). Oh, and I'm legal at 18. Yeah baby, power to the adults.
6) Last but the opposite of least, I serve a King whom I have never seen. I had spit in His face and rebelled against His rule, thus earning the penalty of death. But He sent His Son to die in my place and then adopted me as His child. Everything I do, everything I am, it all comes back to that. He isn't just number one in my life; He's everything. At least, He should be; too often I still rebel against Him and break His heart. But He loves me anyway. Even cooler than the fact that He does all that for me is that He's willing to do all that for you, too. If you want that, just call on the Name of Jesus.

OK, now I've gotten this first post out of the way. Thanks for sticking around this long. Stay tuned for something (hopefully) a bit more substantive in my next transmission.