Why am I the way I am?
Why do I love grandeur and majesty and epic storytelling so much?
Why is my singing voice so deformedly loud as to blot out all noise within a fifteen-foot radius of me?
Why did I not merely listen to, but enjoy Beethoven's Fourth Symphony in the car on Monday?
Why do I forget about my most important mail immediately after opening and reading it?
Why am I able to look an instructor in the eye with a frown of professed concentration, when my mind is far away?
Why do I step into the shower and immediately begin dreaming of the epic movies I hope to one day realize?
Why do I mess with my pens during class?
Why do I seemingly always lean toward my lover, whether we're sitting or standing?
Why can't I write a good poem?
Why do I always sling my backpack over my right shoulder?
Why do I tape memorable quotes to my bedroom ceiling?
Why do I have to make sure to rip every CD I have onto my computer, regardless of whether I ever plan on listening to it or not?
Why do I like to edit video?
There's a trite answer, of course, and you've probably guessed what it must be. I don't know, but He does, and He made me that way. OK, so it's true. Doesn't make it any less trite. And it still doesn't really answer: Why?
We humans want to know why. Most of us do, anyway. If you don't, you're either very privileged or very delusional. Why, why, why? The Psalmists asked it; Job asked it; Moses asked it.
It's okay to ask, I think. But we can't necessarily expect to get the answer. At least, not the answer we seek. God gave Job a pretty memorable answer, mostly using questions, but He never gave Job what he wanted.
His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts than our thoughts. That's scary, mindboggling, comforting. He is, after all, God, and I am, after all, little Homo sapien.
I look forward to finding out all the "why's" about me. 'Cause I think He'll reveal them, someday. He likes to reveal mysteries, in their proper time. He's going to show me how He tweaked and tinged me, formed and filled me, molded and marked me, and how vitally important every single tiny detail was in his True Myth, his Great Epic.
That's the kind of God He is. He revels in art, in craft, in beauty and glory in things made. He tells big stories, huge stories, so intricate and detailed that, even in heaven, we may never comprehend everything in them. I like that. He made me to love big stories like that.
And I still don't know why.
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Forth Eorlingas
42 comments:
*chuckle* I don't know why either, darling, at least not about all of them, but I love 'em.
About your [magnificent] voice, I think that to call it "deformedly loud" isn't the least bit accurate. It's not deformed, it just has to be toned down a bit when singing in a choir - Rager would say "pull back a bit". Not that, of course, he would ever say it to *me*, only the VMs get that :^P
Iluvyou...
BTW
you *are* a big story.
:^P
I'll tell you what's a big story...
;-p
Iluvyou...
Interesting!!!! I dunno why either, and it's kinda interesting that God gave us all those little unimportant things!!
You're saying you've NEVER dreaded the dentist? AMAZING!!!!! I never liked mine because before I had braces they would emphatically exclaim about how crooked my teeth were and predict three years of braces doom for me every time. DURING braces they were always saying I'd be sore for a couple of days and telling me what goodness I couldn't eat. AFTER braces they start talking about how I need my wisdom teeth cut out in a year. And I did have a cavity once... not good experiences!!!!!!!! But if I lived through all their curses, I guess wisdom teeth won't be that bad... what can they bug me about after that?
Interesting post... I rather like all those little things that make each person unique. How I love to recognize them in myself and others, and learn other people's little quirks. I think it is so cool how each person can be so different and have so many different little things about them. That's what makes us who we are.
Emy, exactly; I agree with you!
Luke, darling, I'll tell you what doesn't make any sense!
... nevuhmahnd, dah-ling.
Iluvyou!
Less than one hundred full days now, my love....
Yay! We agree once more... :P We do that a lot, don't we? ;D
You two do - Emy & I DON'T!!!! Unfair for me, sorta id be fun to agree on SOMETHING SOMETIME... but, we don't really care:P
I'll tell you what's a big story...me pushing you off a cliff! :) Jk, loveya Luke and Lana!
*sigh* I don't know why either. But, I guess I've accepted it. I've tried changing it...I've tried being just like you...being just like Daniel...and found God made me ME. So, that's who I am. :) But, that was off-topic...sorry.
Just my thoughts...
Actually, Hannah, that was on-topic. We're all off-topic. :P Sorry Luke. lol
Yeah Meggy, but wouldn't it be boring if we agreed on everything??
Oooh! Sir Luke, I wanted to tell you this. You probably already know (I hope you didn't already), but.... they (I don't know who "they" are, but "they" do alot of stuff) are making The Hobbit a movie. And "they" are using the same people that "they" used in The Lord of the Rings trilogy! (I'm pretty sure) I definitely know that it's from the same makers! Ahhhh! Exciting!!!
~Nicole
haha, yeah, he knows. If it's LOTR news, Luke would know it :^P
Hannah, how perfectly on-topic of you :^P
You're exactly right. Sometimes, I've wanted to be like Luke, too. Mostly back when we were just friend. He's so good, you know, but God made me to be me, and I struggle with things that Luke doesn't struggle with. And, he struggles with things that I don't. And, we have strengths that complement each other perfectly.
Luke, darling, we complete each other...
hahaha, Lana you make me laugh... "how perfectly on-topic of you" :P
Colie's right... "they" sure do a lot of stuff. :P
"They"? THEY are awesome!!!!!!!!!!! Boring if we agreed? Maybe. But at least you can agree with me on SOME things... right?
BTW, I just saw down there, "SIR" is a work of art!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why thank you; Daniel, T-Rev and I have always considered it our finest work of collaboration. Not that that really means much of anything...And that title only lasts till Hunted is done.
Hey Luke!!!
When are you going to add the movie that Daniel, T.J., and I made??
Hey Tony, not sure. There's another movie featuring all three of you that I'm currently trying to make ready to upload.
Cool.
~Nicole
Which one???
LUKE, IF YOU ADD THAT MOVIE THAT YOU WERE WORKING ON THE OTHER DAY, I WILL SLIT YOUR THROAT! Or set you on fire in your bed...not sure which...
Okay, before people call 911, I'm not planning to hurt Luke in any way. But, really, Luke, please...have mercy! The thing is AWFUL! It's...It's...It's worse than...than...I don't know. It's worse than Episode II!
Tony, I think it's the one we made when Daniel and TJ were the bad guys...
Ah, well, Luke, I guess you can upload it...as long as you don't upload that video from church camp...ugh. :)
Well, Hannah, as long as it's not worse than Episode II.
Luke, she said it was... she said "It's worse than Episode II!" But whatever, I'm lost... I do like watching ya'll's vids on your youtube site though. :P
It IS worse than episode II.
But, at least we didn't pretend we thought it was written.
And, we didn't have a script
(script? this is the digital age, we don't need a script! so, we threw that idea right out the window)
Well, put it on anyway!!!!! Nobody cares really!!!!!!!!
Oh, and during the intermission in SIR when we were told to give our fish a bath, I must say... that IS possible!!!! My grandma picks up her beta and scrubs it until it's not slimy anymore. Talk about a clean freak!!!!!! Or at least she USED to do that until it died:)
What should be in a toothpaste commercial? Hmmm, you intrigue me.
~Nicole
Oh whoops, I thought my sis said Episode I. Exclamation point confusing me there...
I said REINFORCEMENTS, NOT REFRESHMENTS!
"I told 'em to go home. It's Christmas"
GoodNight what does that comment have to do with anything, Tony? Please explain it to the poor ditz.
Tony is not being nice today. :P JK, Tony... ;)But do explain.
I've given up on "gettin it" with the Warrior/Sir Tony bunch. I don't know if I'm an igmo or if they are.
~Nicole
Sweet-T ask where the reinforcements are, and T-Rev tells him that "he told them to go home, it's Christmas".
And emy, How have I been un-nice today??
ARGG! I was typing one handed and I totally messed that up.
Let me try again...
Sweet-T asked where the reinforcements are, and T-Rev tells him that he "told them to go home, it's Christmas".
Tony I was JK about the... comment confusion.
In my defence, I didn't start it
FORTY-SEVEN PUSHUPS FOR PICKING MY BOOGER!
ugh.
darlin' you are terrible ;^P
Excuse me? I'm sorry, you can have it back. I don't want it anyway.
That is pretty gross.
~Nicole
EMY'S the one that's terrible!!!:P Tony too!!! Though you CAN argue some more and I won't mind - id be funny to see Emmers do push-ups!!!:P:P:P:P
Why are Emy and Tony terrible? Luke's the one talking about boogers (which I don't get, maybe an inside joke?). Sorta creepy...
~Nicole
I did one, Sir, will that work?
That's good, Private. Move out!
Nicole, check out the Hobbbottom YouTube videos "Sir Part 1" and "Sir Part 2" and you will see what's up with reinforcements, refreshments, and boogers.
Cool, but did I miss the booger part? Or, did you just make that up on spot, cause that's pretty awesome. I can do that too. My dad ran over a dog the other day and it threw up then fell over. I'm sorry, I had to. Don't worry, it's still alive (as far as I know).
~Nicole
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