Staying Off the Escalator (till then)

DISCLAIMER: My bride-to-be, under the suggestion of my future mother-in-law, said that maybe I should make some statement about my always writing and publishing my posts from work; some might misunderstand and think that I am clandestinely breaking the rules. I certainly don't want you to think that, so let me clarify by telling you that my job is patently of the desk nature. As an authorized agent (basically a sales/customer service representative), I get to sit at a desk in a comfortable chair in an air-conditioned room, with high-speed Internet. When I don't have customers, as has especially often been the case lately, I usually have free reign and am thus able to do fun stuff like post on my blog.

OK, now I can really begin the post.

It's a strange experience, being in love. I didn't expect my feelings for Lana to intensify at the rate they have in the nineteen days since I declared myself to her; they have. I expected us, of course, to grow closer together, but not like we have. She was already my best friend and had been for a long time; we had already achieved a high level of platonic intimacy. But now we truly are growing as close to one another as two humans can, though not of course on a physical level.

And the physical restraint has a beauty that the world simply cannot match. There's something special about waiting to share that first kiss until your wedding day. More than that, we have decided not even to hold hands -- for now, and maybe all the way up to the wedding.

The world would look at that and declare its ludicrosity. "How can you say you truly love each other and yet not kiss or even hold hands?" I think even the vast majority of Christians would say that we're going too far.

But we are not practicing restraint for restraint's sake. We do not believe kissing and holding hands are wrong; they are, on the contrary, part of a glorious landscape for displaying romantic affection, designed by God our Father. We fully believe that He means for us to enjoy those actions freely -- one day.

But we aren't married yet; we have not yet become one flesh. And so we have chosen to avoid hand-holding for the simple reason that it is dangerous. Why is it so? Because God never designed man and woman to stop at hand-holding in the ladder of physical intimacy. A ladder, in fact, is a misleading analogy, because with a ladder you can get on and off at your leisure. It's more like an escalator; when you get on it, it's designed to take you to the next floor. You can still get off with some effort, but the further you go, the harder it becomes to stop it from taking you upwards.

Hope that illustration makes sense to you. Because of the danger, Lana and I have chosen not to step onto the escalator. Is it hard to maintain that, being as in love with one another as we are? Absolutely. But I think it's so much easier than it would be if we decided to jump on and just try to stay on a low level.

So, again, we don't think that physical intimacy is wrong; it's a blessing from God. And we love Him and one another enough to wait to hop on that escalator until we're allowed to go all the way to the top. I know, because I know God and because of what He has done thus far in this relationship, that it will be far more than worth the wait.