The Baby Story Thus Far
A Father's Thoughts
I pray that God uses me in whatever way he sees fit. It excites me to look back on my life and be able to point out specific times when I can clearly see how he used me. In some cases I could see it as it was happening; in others I still can't see what he was doing through me. But I praise him that he does use me as his vessel, and pray that I will always be useful to him.
It's a strange emotion, then, to discover that my Lord has used me and my wonderful wife to create a new life. Over the past two days, I have meditated on this wonderful mystery. Lana and I have conceived, not a fetal blob, but a complete person, who will one day (if the Lord wills) burp and cry and dance, and run and chew and laugh, and ask and wonder and learn, and love and lose and weep, and listen and understand and believe. Out of the love of a husband and wife comes a new love - tenderly we will give it and slowly receive it.
Only eight and a half months have passed since I left my father and mother to cleave to my wife, and already I foresee the day when my precious child will leave Lana and me and join in marriage with another. Our task is to prepare him or her for that day, for that person, for that life. In the meantime, we will enjoy life with the third member of our family.
Praise you, Father, for the child you have granted me and Lana. May we never fail to remember that he or she belongs to you, and that you have entrusted us to raise him or her up in the knowledge and instruction of the Lord. May we one day send our child out from us, a flaming arrow to bring a little more light into the darkness of this world.
Readers, please pray for our three-person family. My new highest priority is doing everything I can to protect my wife and our baby during this fragile period of pregnancy. But ultimately it is the Lord's to give or to take away, to preserve or to extinguish. Pray that we will trust him completely and praise him in good time or ill.
And yes, I am jacked about being a dad! Praise the Lord!!!
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Monday, February 25, 2008
People
Just a quick post for now as I need to hit the hay pretty soon.
My birthday on Thursday was flippin' awesome. Hope to have more about that in the next day or two...
It is absolutely unreal to be well into the double digits of the countdown to my wedding. Today it's been two months since I dropped to my knee and gave my girl a ring and could officially call myself her fiance. In another three months, we'll already be married. Wow...
I praise God for the life He has given me. It's often a struggle, often painful, but it's just so...abundant, I guess, is a good word. Most often I see how abundant it is in the people God has put in my life. I have my darling fiancee, my immediate family, her immediate family, church family, homeschoolers...it's just so cool.
God is starting to pound into my head that people are what matter most on this earth. The people I love dearly, the people I walk past at school, the people I see in church when I'm leading worship. Every one of them is made in the image of God, every one has a story, every one has a purpose. Jesus died to save every one of them. He knows the plans He has for them, plans to prosper them and not to harm them, plans to give them a future and a hope.
People like James T. from church and Bob my former Theater prof and Austin from Riverwalk and Gary who lives across the street and Ryan my cousin and Andria my supervisor at work. They all matter so much to the heart of God. And my life has made an impact on each of theirs, in radically different ways, in ways that I'll never comprehend. And I've impacted thousands of others.
And I continue to have influence, I continue to make a difference, for better or for worse, in the lives of so many people around me -- the ones who mean the most to me, and the ones I'll never meet.
But I don't want to focus on that; talk about the pressure that would ensue! My focus should all be on the one who created this universe and this tiny earth and all the eternal souls that dwell therein. And then He came into His creation, coming not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.
He's the One pulling the strings; He commands the breadth of my influence. All good comes from Him, and thus it is not merely immoral but useless to point my focus anywhere else. He will change the hearts of people. He emptied Himself for them, suffered the ultimate sacrifice that they might be set free.
May the same mind be in me that was also in Him.
My birthday on Thursday was flippin' awesome. Hope to have more about that in the next day or two...
It is absolutely unreal to be well into the double digits of the countdown to my wedding. Today it's been two months since I dropped to my knee and gave my girl a ring and could officially call myself her fiance. In another three months, we'll already be married. Wow...
I praise God for the life He has given me. It's often a struggle, often painful, but it's just so...abundant, I guess, is a good word. Most often I see how abundant it is in the people God has put in my life. I have my darling fiancee, my immediate family, her immediate family, church family, homeschoolers...it's just so cool.
God is starting to pound into my head that people are what matter most on this earth. The people I love dearly, the people I walk past at school, the people I see in church when I'm leading worship. Every one of them is made in the image of God, every one has a story, every one has a purpose. Jesus died to save every one of them. He knows the plans He has for them, plans to prosper them and not to harm them, plans to give them a future and a hope.
People like James T. from church and Bob my former Theater prof and Austin from Riverwalk and Gary who lives across the street and Ryan my cousin and Andria my supervisor at work. They all matter so much to the heart of God. And my life has made an impact on each of theirs, in radically different ways, in ways that I'll never comprehend. And I've impacted thousands of others.
And I continue to have influence, I continue to make a difference, for better or for worse, in the lives of so many people around me -- the ones who mean the most to me, and the ones I'll never meet.
But I don't want to focus on that; talk about the pressure that would ensue! My focus should all be on the one who created this universe and this tiny earth and all the eternal souls that dwell therein. And then He came into His creation, coming not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.
He's the One pulling the strings; He commands the breadth of my influence. All good comes from Him, and thus it is not merely immoral but useless to point my focus anywhere else. He will change the hearts of people. He emptied Himself for them, suffered the ultimate sacrifice that they might be set free.
May the same mind be in me that was also in Him.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
The Beating of Your Life
OK, well, I should probably be in bed, but tomorrow's a Saturday and I don't have to get up at all if I don't feel like it (OK, that's a slight exaggeration), and I'm still trying to clear my brain from today. So I figured I'd give ya'll a blog post on this the First Day of the Month of Decembre in Anno Domini Two Zero Zero Seven. Since some of you have been loudly demanding it for a while.
This has been absolutely the craziest week ever. At least a nominee for the title, anyway. It's been way down, it's been way up, it's been invigorating, numbing, energizing, tiring, sad, happy, torturous, fun. Sorry, I like to use series of adjectives like that; someday I'll do that in some great book, I'm sure, but till then you'll have to cope with me doing it multiple times.
Sometimes I just wish life would go away for a while and leave me alone. Just for a little while. Not the people in my life, of course, no -- there wouldn't be much point in being all alone, without my family or my church or my Lana or anyone there.
I'm beginning to realize that this is what happens when you grow up. It's not that you necessarily become any less of a kid, though you certainly have to become a lot more of an adult. But the grind of life hits you and it never stops. It rolls right over you and keeps coming. It never stops. It picks you up off the ground so it can throw you down again. It never stops.
Even when it does go away for a while, it's still there. You can't escape it forever. At best you get brief respites. But it won't really go away. It doesn't go away on Saturday. It doesn't go away on your honeymoon. It doesn't go away on vacation. It just allows you to forget about it for a little while.
And then it's back full force, smacking you in the face, daring you to look it in the eye. 7:30, buddy boy, time to get up. Long day ahead of you. You groan like an overmatched boxer and stagger up for another round; the knockout hasn't ended the match.
On and on you go, as days turn into years. Your body starts to break down. You're too tired to cry at the pain anymore. Bam! An uppercut across the chest. Then another. And another. And another.
You sink to the ground, eyes open and blood-filled, vacant. You wait to be picked up again for more pummeling. You want to die.
And then you do.
The blood clears your eyes in a flash; you rise up without thinking about it; the crowd begins to cheer. You look down and see your enemy lying fallen to the floor. You don't know how he got there. He glares up at you, powerless.
Then the Referee strides to your side; He grabs your hand and thrusts it aloft in His own. Without looking at His hand, you can feel the hole in it.
You fall down again as the crowd cascades cheers. The laurel drops off your head and rests at His feet. You look up and He's smiling, puts His wounded hands on your shoulders. He doesn't have to say anything.
And suddenly it hits you in a flash. You search His eyes in wonderment. His smile broadens as He nods. The crowd becomes deafening.
You were winning all along.
Like all portrayals of life that we humans can concoct, this one's skewed, and that's intentional. The boxing match analogy falls pretty far short in some areas. Life isn't all just one big beating. There's magnificent joy, not just exhausted tears; great victories, not just crushing defeats. The abundant life, the one that He gives us, that dwells inside us, that bursts forth like the dawn, runs counter to the life that we fight everyday. And it triumphs over it.
But the life that we live, threescore and ten years or however long it may be, is nothing. One day we will open our eyes and it will be gone. Forever.
The crowd will erupt and we will see the Savior's face. We will have escaped, not because we found a way out, but because Someone took the keys and threw the doors open.
We will step into the life that is true life. And we won't ever want a break from it. We won't ever get tired of it. We won't ever pound our head against the wall hoping the headache will somehow go away.
There will be no more headache.
And we will live forever with Him, you and me and the hosts of the redeemed. We'll celebrate the victory of the match, and worship the Winner.
And He will praise us, because He has made us winners too.
This has been absolutely the craziest week ever. At least a nominee for the title, anyway. It's been way down, it's been way up, it's been invigorating, numbing, energizing, tiring, sad, happy, torturous, fun. Sorry, I like to use series of adjectives like that; someday I'll do that in some great book, I'm sure, but till then you'll have to cope with me doing it multiple times.
Sometimes I just wish life would go away for a while and leave me alone. Just for a little while. Not the people in my life, of course, no -- there wouldn't be much point in being all alone, without my family or my church or my Lana or anyone there.
I'm beginning to realize that this is what happens when you grow up. It's not that you necessarily become any less of a kid, though you certainly have to become a lot more of an adult. But the grind of life hits you and it never stops. It rolls right over you and keeps coming. It never stops. It picks you up off the ground so it can throw you down again. It never stops.
Even when it does go away for a while, it's still there. You can't escape it forever. At best you get brief respites. But it won't really go away. It doesn't go away on Saturday. It doesn't go away on your honeymoon. It doesn't go away on vacation. It just allows you to forget about it for a little while.
And then it's back full force, smacking you in the face, daring you to look it in the eye. 7:30, buddy boy, time to get up. Long day ahead of you. You groan like an overmatched boxer and stagger up for another round; the knockout hasn't ended the match.
On and on you go, as days turn into years. Your body starts to break down. You're too tired to cry at the pain anymore. Bam! An uppercut across the chest. Then another. And another. And another.
You sink to the ground, eyes open and blood-filled, vacant. You wait to be picked up again for more pummeling. You want to die.
And then you do.
The blood clears your eyes in a flash; you rise up without thinking about it; the crowd begins to cheer. You look down and see your enemy lying fallen to the floor. You don't know how he got there. He glares up at you, powerless.
Then the Referee strides to your side; He grabs your hand and thrusts it aloft in His own. Without looking at His hand, you can feel the hole in it.
You fall down again as the crowd cascades cheers. The laurel drops off your head and rests at His feet. You look up and He's smiling, puts His wounded hands on your shoulders. He doesn't have to say anything.
And suddenly it hits you in a flash. You search His eyes in wonderment. His smile broadens as He nods. The crowd becomes deafening.
You were winning all along.
Like all portrayals of life that we humans can concoct, this one's skewed, and that's intentional. The boxing match analogy falls pretty far short in some areas. Life isn't all just one big beating. There's magnificent joy, not just exhausted tears; great victories, not just crushing defeats. The abundant life, the one that He gives us, that dwells inside us, that bursts forth like the dawn, runs counter to the life that we fight everyday. And it triumphs over it.
But the life that we live, threescore and ten years or however long it may be, is nothing. One day we will open our eyes and it will be gone. Forever.
The crowd will erupt and we will see the Savior's face. We will have escaped, not because we found a way out, but because Someone took the keys and threw the doors open.
We will step into the life that is true life. And we won't ever want a break from it. We won't ever get tired of it. We won't ever pound our head against the wall hoping the headache will somehow go away.
There will be no more headache.
And we will live forever with Him, you and me and the hosts of the redeemed. We'll celebrate the victory of the match, and worship the Winner.
And He will praise us, because He has made us winners too.
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