I'm writing this post from my and Lana's apartment. Sitting on the black couch, listening to the hum of the air conditioner (well, along with Michael W. Smith on my lappytop). It's the home God has provided for us. What an incredible blessing; thank You, Lord!
Just chillin' here (and getting a few things done while I chill, I should add) before I head over to the rehearsal. Ahh...
I love my house. It's not really a house, I know, but I won't be able to stop calling it that. It's just...so crazy, to sit on the couch and see all the stuff we've brought in thus far. And to know that a week from tomorrow, Lana and I will be settling down here -- to live together.
And by that time, we'll have been married for a week -- AHHHHHH!!!!
I want to quote my song, man I do, but I can't, I'm saving it back. The world premiere for it is tomorrow night at 7 pm, if anyone wants to attend.
Wow, I'm getting married in about twenty-seven hours. And I still haven't really gotten nervous yet. I figured I would, I'm still expecting it to hit me at any minute. But so far it's just like, wow, wow, it's really happening and the greatest day of my life really is tomorrow. Wow. Praise God, praise God, praise God.
Thank you all for praying for me and Lana, and please don't stop now. Pray especially for the wedding, not for us (although we'd appreciate it) so much as for those who attend. I believe God wants our wedding to be a powerful testimony of His grace and love. Not everyone who will be there knows Jesus.
A thought just hit me. We do an Easter program every year in our church, and at times I've wondered what it would be like to play Jesus. I so respect Jason, the guy who currently does it; he takes it so seriously and lets God work through him.
But, um, wow, get this, this just occurred to me: Tomorrow night, I'm playing Jesus. Our wedding is a picture, an acting out of the Great Romance between Christ and His people. Lana represents the Church. And as the groom, I will be standing in the place of my Savior. What a thought!
OK, so now I'm a little bit nervous.
I'll try to post tomorrow, but in case I don't have time, God bless you guys, and thanks for the prayers!
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Sickness, storms, spring break, and The Story
Yo all,
Thanks for the kind comments and for being quiet and all that jazz. I have been sick and rather miserable, but hopefully (wink wink, Lana) I'm getting over it. Yesterday was a horrendous day, full of high fever and upset stomach and barely being able to move. Today I've had a low fever, I'm still pretty tired, and I've had a splitting headache. But it's definitely better than yesterday. The strangest part of this whole thing is that even since my stomach settled down, I haven't had much of an appetite at all.
Anywayz, so that's my report, now that's enough about sickies.
I don't remember the last time we had this much rain. It rained most of yesterday evening and most of the day today. The most exciting part of it came early this afternoon when heavy winds swept through Branch. I was standing in the dining room, watching the storm rip branches off our neighbor's tree, and saw a huge something fly by the north window. What in the world was that? I shifted my gaze to the east windows, which overlook our front yard and the highway. Next moment, our trampoline soared past the neighbor's tree and onto Highway 41. The wind had carried it all the way from its place in the back yard, over the fence, past Dad's truck in the driveway, over the ditch, and onto the road. That trampoline is now famous in the Branch area.
Such are the thrills of a small town in Arkansas. It's still raining right now, and according to the local weather reports, it probably won't stop anytime soon. I'm just glad that, like my sickness, all this rain is coming in the early part of this week. Our church's Easter program is this weekend, and I certainly don't want to be sick -- or to have it rain this much -- then.
It's also nice that it's spring break and I don't have to miss class. But as glad as I am to have some time off from school, I'm pining for my Lana. She was supposed to get to come over today, but my sickies prevented that. I'll see her tomorrow, Lord willing.
The attempts at sappiness to her over on her blog made me chuckle. You guys have got a ways to go, but that's okay.
Easter Week is one of my favorite weeks of the year. Obviously it's exciting because of the Easter program, one of the biggest events our church does all year. But so much more than that, this is the week when we give special attention to the story of Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection.
It's such a fascinating story, and it never fails to hit me whenever I read it in any of the four Gospels. A spellbinding plot with twists and turns. Glorious love. Wrenching betrayal. A climax followed by a bigger climax. Memorable villains. And the greatest Hero of all time.
Take some time this week to read it in your Bible. Experience anew the crowd's Hosannas, Judas' treachery, Peter's tears, Pilate's dilemma. And rejoice for the King who did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.
Praise forever the Name of Jesus.
Thanks for the kind comments and for being quiet and all that jazz. I have been sick and rather miserable, but hopefully (wink wink, Lana) I'm getting over it. Yesterday was a horrendous day, full of high fever and upset stomach and barely being able to move. Today I've had a low fever, I'm still pretty tired, and I've had a splitting headache. But it's definitely better than yesterday. The strangest part of this whole thing is that even since my stomach settled down, I haven't had much of an appetite at all.
Anywayz, so that's my report, now that's enough about sickies.
I don't remember the last time we had this much rain. It rained most of yesterday evening and most of the day today. The most exciting part of it came early this afternoon when heavy winds swept through Branch. I was standing in the dining room, watching the storm rip branches off our neighbor's tree, and saw a huge something fly by the north window. What in the world was that? I shifted my gaze to the east windows, which overlook our front yard and the highway. Next moment, our trampoline soared past the neighbor's tree and onto Highway 41. The wind had carried it all the way from its place in the back yard, over the fence, past Dad's truck in the driveway, over the ditch, and onto the road. That trampoline is now famous in the Branch area.
Such are the thrills of a small town in Arkansas. It's still raining right now, and according to the local weather reports, it probably won't stop anytime soon. I'm just glad that, like my sickness, all this rain is coming in the early part of this week. Our church's Easter program is this weekend, and I certainly don't want to be sick -- or to have it rain this much -- then.
It's also nice that it's spring break and I don't have to miss class. But as glad as I am to have some time off from school, I'm pining for my Lana. She was supposed to get to come over today, but my sickies prevented that. I'll see her tomorrow, Lord willing.
The attempts at sappiness to her over on her blog made me chuckle. You guys have got a ways to go, but that's okay.
Easter Week is one of my favorite weeks of the year. Obviously it's exciting because of the Easter program, one of the biggest events our church does all year. But so much more than that, this is the week when we give special attention to the story of Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection.
It's such a fascinating story, and it never fails to hit me whenever I read it in any of the four Gospels. A spellbinding plot with twists and turns. Glorious love. Wrenching betrayal. A climax followed by a bigger climax. Memorable villains. And the greatest Hero of all time.
Take some time this week to read it in your Bible. Experience anew the crowd's Hosannas, Judas' treachery, Peter's tears, Pilate's dilemma. And rejoice for the King who did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.
Praise forever the Name of Jesus.
Monday, February 25, 2008
People
Just a quick post for now as I need to hit the hay pretty soon.
My birthday on Thursday was flippin' awesome. Hope to have more about that in the next day or two...
It is absolutely unreal to be well into the double digits of the countdown to my wedding. Today it's been two months since I dropped to my knee and gave my girl a ring and could officially call myself her fiance. In another three months, we'll already be married. Wow...
I praise God for the life He has given me. It's often a struggle, often painful, but it's just so...abundant, I guess, is a good word. Most often I see how abundant it is in the people God has put in my life. I have my darling fiancee, my immediate family, her immediate family, church family, homeschoolers...it's just so cool.
God is starting to pound into my head that people are what matter most on this earth. The people I love dearly, the people I walk past at school, the people I see in church when I'm leading worship. Every one of them is made in the image of God, every one has a story, every one has a purpose. Jesus died to save every one of them. He knows the plans He has for them, plans to prosper them and not to harm them, plans to give them a future and a hope.
People like James T. from church and Bob my former Theater prof and Austin from Riverwalk and Gary who lives across the street and Ryan my cousin and Andria my supervisor at work. They all matter so much to the heart of God. And my life has made an impact on each of theirs, in radically different ways, in ways that I'll never comprehend. And I've impacted thousands of others.
And I continue to have influence, I continue to make a difference, for better or for worse, in the lives of so many people around me -- the ones who mean the most to me, and the ones I'll never meet.
But I don't want to focus on that; talk about the pressure that would ensue! My focus should all be on the one who created this universe and this tiny earth and all the eternal souls that dwell therein. And then He came into His creation, coming not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.
He's the One pulling the strings; He commands the breadth of my influence. All good comes from Him, and thus it is not merely immoral but useless to point my focus anywhere else. He will change the hearts of people. He emptied Himself for them, suffered the ultimate sacrifice that they might be set free.
May the same mind be in me that was also in Him.
My birthday on Thursday was flippin' awesome. Hope to have more about that in the next day or two...
It is absolutely unreal to be well into the double digits of the countdown to my wedding. Today it's been two months since I dropped to my knee and gave my girl a ring and could officially call myself her fiance. In another three months, we'll already be married. Wow...
I praise God for the life He has given me. It's often a struggle, often painful, but it's just so...abundant, I guess, is a good word. Most often I see how abundant it is in the people God has put in my life. I have my darling fiancee, my immediate family, her immediate family, church family, homeschoolers...it's just so cool.
God is starting to pound into my head that people are what matter most on this earth. The people I love dearly, the people I walk past at school, the people I see in church when I'm leading worship. Every one of them is made in the image of God, every one has a story, every one has a purpose. Jesus died to save every one of them. He knows the plans He has for them, plans to prosper them and not to harm them, plans to give them a future and a hope.
People like James T. from church and Bob my former Theater prof and Austin from Riverwalk and Gary who lives across the street and Ryan my cousin and Andria my supervisor at work. They all matter so much to the heart of God. And my life has made an impact on each of theirs, in radically different ways, in ways that I'll never comprehend. And I've impacted thousands of others.
And I continue to have influence, I continue to make a difference, for better or for worse, in the lives of so many people around me -- the ones who mean the most to me, and the ones I'll never meet.
But I don't want to focus on that; talk about the pressure that would ensue! My focus should all be on the one who created this universe and this tiny earth and all the eternal souls that dwell therein. And then He came into His creation, coming not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.
He's the One pulling the strings; He commands the breadth of my influence. All good comes from Him, and thus it is not merely immoral but useless to point my focus anywhere else. He will change the hearts of people. He emptied Himself for them, suffered the ultimate sacrifice that they might be set free.
May the same mind be in me that was also in Him.
Monday, January 21, 2008
All right, so I'm doing it
OK, my sister tagged me (whatever that means), so I'm going to do the, er, tag thing. Mostly because she half-begged me to do it and put on her blogpost that she didn't think I would. So ha, provin' you wrong, my sis!
8 Things I'm Passionate About:
1. King Jesus, my Savior, my Lord, my divine Lover
2. The fairest maiden who has ever lived, my own dear Lana Marie
3. Pointing people to their Creator, whether or not they know Him already
4. My family - parents and sibs, in-laws, extended, church...thank God for them!
5. Leading people in singing the praises of their God
6. Writing - using words to create a work that honors God and ultimately draws people to Him
7. Preparing to be a godly husband and father
8. Reading good writing
8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die:
1. Wow, um, this'll be a shocker to you, but...MARRY LANA ON MAY 23!
2. Have kids with Lana and raise them to know and love God
3. See all of my kids enter into a passionate love relationship with Jesus
4. Become a published author
5. Complete my novel about Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection
6. Go to FtF 08 and see the fire fall (not literally this year, unfortunately)
7. Ride on the Fort Smith Transit with Lana
8. Get raptured, and thus, not die at all
8 Things I Say Often:
1. "I love you." (Hmm, who might I be saying that to?)
2. "Shut everything else out and focus on God." (My youth group can testify to that)
3. "Sing it out."
4. "Amazing stacey."
5. "You're so beautiful." (See #1)
6. "That's nice."
7. "You're nice."
8. "Whatcha thinkin'?" (See #5 for each of the last three)
8 Books I've Read Recently:
1. The Case for a Creator by Lee Strobel
2. The End of the Third Age by J. R. R. Tolkien, edited by Christopher Tolkien
3. Chosen by Ted Dekker
4. Infidel by Ted Dekker
5. The Complete Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson
6. Me, Myself, and Bob by Phil Vischer
7. When Dreams Come True by Eric and Leslie Ludy
8. Oh, wait, does the Bible count? Well, then, yeah.
8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over:
1. "Breathe in Me" by Michael W. Smith
2. "Lemonade" by Chris Rice
3. "No Ordinary Love" by TobyMac
4. "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by Steven Curtis Chapman
5. "Why Should the Devil (Have All the Good Music) by Geoff Moore and the Distance
6. "Audience of One" by Big Daddy Weave
7. "Already Over" by Red
8. "Can't Stop Praising" by Hillsong
8 Albums I Love (I added this one because there's just too much good music out there):
1. I'll Lead You Home by Michael W. Smith
2. End of Silence by Red
3. Jesus Freak by dc Talk
4. Lifesong by Casting Crowns
5. Song Cinema by Mark Schultz
6. Evolution by Geoff Moore and the Distance
7. The Jesus Record by Rich Mullins and the Ragamuffin Band
8. Jars of Clay by Jars of Clay (the one I'm listening to right now)
8 Things That Attract Me to My Best Friend (ooh, this'll be fun):
1. She loves God passionately, above everything else
2. She loves me more than anyone else (how can you not be attracted to someone like that?)
3. She is so beautiful that it distracts me when I'm trying to think
4. She has a gentle and kind spirit, and a warm personality
5. She's funny
6. She smells good
7. She knows me better than anyone else and has more wisdom about important things than I do
8. She's a woman (pretty important, dontcha think?), and the most amazing woman I've ever met at that
8 Things I've Learned This Past Year:
1. Everything truly is in His hands
2. His plans may fulfill my plans or wreck them, but they're always better than mine
3. Waiting to awaken love until it so desires really is worth it
4. Romance really does make you as insane as I've always heard - maybe even more so
5. When my faith is tested, it's tested at the roots - He always asks me, "Do you believe?"
6. I'm even more prideful and arrogant than I thought
7. My (future) wife really does have to be my #2 priority, after God
8. Don't ever film a full-length movie in your directorial debut
8 People I'm Tagging:
Nope, sorry, here's where I get off.
8 Things I'm Passionate About:
1. King Jesus, my Savior, my Lord, my divine Lover
2. The fairest maiden who has ever lived, my own dear Lana Marie
3. Pointing people to their Creator, whether or not they know Him already
4. My family - parents and sibs, in-laws, extended, church...thank God for them!
5. Leading people in singing the praises of their God
6. Writing - using words to create a work that honors God and ultimately draws people to Him
7. Preparing to be a godly husband and father
8. Reading good writing
8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die:
1. Wow, um, this'll be a shocker to you, but...MARRY LANA ON MAY 23!
2. Have kids with Lana and raise them to know and love God
3. See all of my kids enter into a passionate love relationship with Jesus
4. Become a published author
5. Complete my novel about Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection
6. Go to FtF 08 and see the fire fall (not literally this year, unfortunately)
7. Ride on the Fort Smith Transit with Lana
8. Get raptured, and thus, not die at all
8 Things I Say Often:
1. "I love you." (Hmm, who might I be saying that to?)
2. "Shut everything else out and focus on God." (My youth group can testify to that)
3. "Sing it out."
4. "Amazing stacey."
5. "You're so beautiful." (See #1)
6. "That's nice."
7. "You're nice."
8. "Whatcha thinkin'?" (See #5 for each of the last three)
8 Books I've Read Recently:
1. The Case for a Creator by Lee Strobel
2. The End of the Third Age by J. R. R. Tolkien, edited by Christopher Tolkien
3. Chosen by Ted Dekker
4. Infidel by Ted Dekker
5. The Complete Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson
6. Me, Myself, and Bob by Phil Vischer
7. When Dreams Come True by Eric and Leslie Ludy
8. Oh, wait, does the Bible count? Well, then, yeah.
8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over:
1. "Breathe in Me" by Michael W. Smith
2. "Lemonade" by Chris Rice
3. "No Ordinary Love" by TobyMac
4. "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by Steven Curtis Chapman
5. "Why Should the Devil (Have All the Good Music) by Geoff Moore and the Distance
6. "Audience of One" by Big Daddy Weave
7. "Already Over" by Red
8. "Can't Stop Praising" by Hillsong
8 Albums I Love (I added this one because there's just too much good music out there):
1. I'll Lead You Home by Michael W. Smith
2. End of Silence by Red
3. Jesus Freak by dc Talk
4. Lifesong by Casting Crowns
5. Song Cinema by Mark Schultz
6. Evolution by Geoff Moore and the Distance
7. The Jesus Record by Rich Mullins and the Ragamuffin Band
8. Jars of Clay by Jars of Clay (the one I'm listening to right now)
8 Things That Attract Me to My Best Friend (ooh, this'll be fun):
1. She loves God passionately, above everything else
2. She loves me more than anyone else (how can you not be attracted to someone like that?)
3. She is so beautiful that it distracts me when I'm trying to think
4. She has a gentle and kind spirit, and a warm personality
5. She's funny
6. She smells good
7. She knows me better than anyone else and has more wisdom about important things than I do
8. She's a woman (pretty important, dontcha think?), and the most amazing woman I've ever met at that
8 Things I've Learned This Past Year:
1. Everything truly is in His hands
2. His plans may fulfill my plans or wreck them, but they're always better than mine
3. Waiting to awaken love until it so desires really is worth it
4. Romance really does make you as insane as I've always heard - maybe even more so
5. When my faith is tested, it's tested at the roots - He always asks me, "Do you believe?"
6. I'm even more prideful and arrogant than I thought
7. My (future) wife really does have to be my #2 priority, after God
8. Don't ever film a full-length movie in your directorial debut
8 People I'm Tagging:
Nope, sorry, here's where I get off.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Christ alone
Everything I am is because of Him. I have no identity apart from Him, no life, no freedom, no love.
He is my all; He is everything; He alone is God.
Before the earth was formed He knew me; before the earth was formed He made His choice.
It was a choice, for me. No one took His life from Him; He gave it up of His own will.
They accused Him of profaning God. And then they put God on a cross and left Him to die.
Because His Father said so.
In the garden He agonized, prayed, cried out; before His accusers and facing His tormentors He was silent. Truth stood still and uttered no word, and Pilate ordered that Truth be sent to Skull Hill and crucified.
He hung suspended, bleeding, trembling, the Maker of galaxies and constellations. He can hold the universe in the palm of His hand, and He hung on a Roman cross outside Jerusalem, while Tiberius ruled the world.
Reluctantly the earth accepted the blood of its Maker. It must be so.
Down His head dropped; the ground convulsed in pain, unable to bear defeat.
It shook again on Sunday morning, a shout that all creation could feel, glorious, victory.
And the Victor stood on His maimed feet and rattled a ring of keys.
And my captors trembled, and knew their loss, and the walls of my prison quaked, and the doors flew open.
And I walked out of my tomb and stood beside Him. A victor, too, and more than a victor, through Him who loves me.
He was dead and is alive, and so I am. Through Him. He is all.
In Christ alone I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the Cross
In every victory, let it be said of me
My source of strength, my source of hope
Is Christ alone.
He is my all; He is everything; He alone is God.
Before the earth was formed He knew me; before the earth was formed He made His choice.
It was a choice, for me. No one took His life from Him; He gave it up of His own will.
They accused Him of profaning God. And then they put God on a cross and left Him to die.
Because His Father said so.
In the garden He agonized, prayed, cried out; before His accusers and facing His tormentors He was silent. Truth stood still and uttered no word, and Pilate ordered that Truth be sent to Skull Hill and crucified.
He hung suspended, bleeding, trembling, the Maker of galaxies and constellations. He can hold the universe in the palm of His hand, and He hung on a Roman cross outside Jerusalem, while Tiberius ruled the world.
Reluctantly the earth accepted the blood of its Maker. It must be so.
Down His head dropped; the ground convulsed in pain, unable to bear defeat.
It shook again on Sunday morning, a shout that all creation could feel, glorious, victory.
And the Victor stood on His maimed feet and rattled a ring of keys.
And my captors trembled, and knew their loss, and the walls of my prison quaked, and the doors flew open.
And I walked out of my tomb and stood beside Him. A victor, too, and more than a victor, through Him who loves me.
He was dead and is alive, and so I am. Through Him. He is all.
In Christ alone I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the Cross
In every victory, let it be said of me
My source of strength, my source of hope
Is Christ alone.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
The Beating of Your Life
OK, well, I should probably be in bed, but tomorrow's a Saturday and I don't have to get up at all if I don't feel like it (OK, that's a slight exaggeration), and I'm still trying to clear my brain from today. So I figured I'd give ya'll a blog post on this the First Day of the Month of Decembre in Anno Domini Two Zero Zero Seven. Since some of you have been loudly demanding it for a while.
This has been absolutely the craziest week ever. At least a nominee for the title, anyway. It's been way down, it's been way up, it's been invigorating, numbing, energizing, tiring, sad, happy, torturous, fun. Sorry, I like to use series of adjectives like that; someday I'll do that in some great book, I'm sure, but till then you'll have to cope with me doing it multiple times.
Sometimes I just wish life would go away for a while and leave me alone. Just for a little while. Not the people in my life, of course, no -- there wouldn't be much point in being all alone, without my family or my church or my Lana or anyone there.
I'm beginning to realize that this is what happens when you grow up. It's not that you necessarily become any less of a kid, though you certainly have to become a lot more of an adult. But the grind of life hits you and it never stops. It rolls right over you and keeps coming. It never stops. It picks you up off the ground so it can throw you down again. It never stops.
Even when it does go away for a while, it's still there. You can't escape it forever. At best you get brief respites. But it won't really go away. It doesn't go away on Saturday. It doesn't go away on your honeymoon. It doesn't go away on vacation. It just allows you to forget about it for a little while.
And then it's back full force, smacking you in the face, daring you to look it in the eye. 7:30, buddy boy, time to get up. Long day ahead of you. You groan like an overmatched boxer and stagger up for another round; the knockout hasn't ended the match.
On and on you go, as days turn into years. Your body starts to break down. You're too tired to cry at the pain anymore. Bam! An uppercut across the chest. Then another. And another. And another.
You sink to the ground, eyes open and blood-filled, vacant. You wait to be picked up again for more pummeling. You want to die.
And then you do.
The blood clears your eyes in a flash; you rise up without thinking about it; the crowd begins to cheer. You look down and see your enemy lying fallen to the floor. You don't know how he got there. He glares up at you, powerless.
Then the Referee strides to your side; He grabs your hand and thrusts it aloft in His own. Without looking at His hand, you can feel the hole in it.
You fall down again as the crowd cascades cheers. The laurel drops off your head and rests at His feet. You look up and He's smiling, puts His wounded hands on your shoulders. He doesn't have to say anything.
And suddenly it hits you in a flash. You search His eyes in wonderment. His smile broadens as He nods. The crowd becomes deafening.
You were winning all along.
Like all portrayals of life that we humans can concoct, this one's skewed, and that's intentional. The boxing match analogy falls pretty far short in some areas. Life isn't all just one big beating. There's magnificent joy, not just exhausted tears; great victories, not just crushing defeats. The abundant life, the one that He gives us, that dwells inside us, that bursts forth like the dawn, runs counter to the life that we fight everyday. And it triumphs over it.
But the life that we live, threescore and ten years or however long it may be, is nothing. One day we will open our eyes and it will be gone. Forever.
The crowd will erupt and we will see the Savior's face. We will have escaped, not because we found a way out, but because Someone took the keys and threw the doors open.
We will step into the life that is true life. And we won't ever want a break from it. We won't ever get tired of it. We won't ever pound our head against the wall hoping the headache will somehow go away.
There will be no more headache.
And we will live forever with Him, you and me and the hosts of the redeemed. We'll celebrate the victory of the match, and worship the Winner.
And He will praise us, because He has made us winners too.
This has been absolutely the craziest week ever. At least a nominee for the title, anyway. It's been way down, it's been way up, it's been invigorating, numbing, energizing, tiring, sad, happy, torturous, fun. Sorry, I like to use series of adjectives like that; someday I'll do that in some great book, I'm sure, but till then you'll have to cope with me doing it multiple times.
Sometimes I just wish life would go away for a while and leave me alone. Just for a little while. Not the people in my life, of course, no -- there wouldn't be much point in being all alone, without my family or my church or my Lana or anyone there.
I'm beginning to realize that this is what happens when you grow up. It's not that you necessarily become any less of a kid, though you certainly have to become a lot more of an adult. But the grind of life hits you and it never stops. It rolls right over you and keeps coming. It never stops. It picks you up off the ground so it can throw you down again. It never stops.
Even when it does go away for a while, it's still there. You can't escape it forever. At best you get brief respites. But it won't really go away. It doesn't go away on Saturday. It doesn't go away on your honeymoon. It doesn't go away on vacation. It just allows you to forget about it for a little while.
And then it's back full force, smacking you in the face, daring you to look it in the eye. 7:30, buddy boy, time to get up. Long day ahead of you. You groan like an overmatched boxer and stagger up for another round; the knockout hasn't ended the match.
On and on you go, as days turn into years. Your body starts to break down. You're too tired to cry at the pain anymore. Bam! An uppercut across the chest. Then another. And another. And another.
You sink to the ground, eyes open and blood-filled, vacant. You wait to be picked up again for more pummeling. You want to die.
And then you do.
The blood clears your eyes in a flash; you rise up without thinking about it; the crowd begins to cheer. You look down and see your enemy lying fallen to the floor. You don't know how he got there. He glares up at you, powerless.
Then the Referee strides to your side; He grabs your hand and thrusts it aloft in His own. Without looking at His hand, you can feel the hole in it.
You fall down again as the crowd cascades cheers. The laurel drops off your head and rests at His feet. You look up and He's smiling, puts His wounded hands on your shoulders. He doesn't have to say anything.
And suddenly it hits you in a flash. You search His eyes in wonderment. His smile broadens as He nods. The crowd becomes deafening.
You were winning all along.
Like all portrayals of life that we humans can concoct, this one's skewed, and that's intentional. The boxing match analogy falls pretty far short in some areas. Life isn't all just one big beating. There's magnificent joy, not just exhausted tears; great victories, not just crushing defeats. The abundant life, the one that He gives us, that dwells inside us, that bursts forth like the dawn, runs counter to the life that we fight everyday. And it triumphs over it.
But the life that we live, threescore and ten years or however long it may be, is nothing. One day we will open our eyes and it will be gone. Forever.
The crowd will erupt and we will see the Savior's face. We will have escaped, not because we found a way out, but because Someone took the keys and threw the doors open.
We will step into the life that is true life. And we won't ever want a break from it. We won't ever get tired of it. We won't ever pound our head against the wall hoping the headache will somehow go away.
There will be no more headache.
And we will live forever with Him, you and me and the hosts of the redeemed. We'll celebrate the victory of the match, and worship the Winner.
And He will praise us, because He has made us winners too.
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